Culture shock making me stressed as fuck

Culture shock is a normal experience, especially in your case. Moving from one country to another is difficult in every aspect. I think you should just find some friends first & joining that club sounds like a good idea to me. It's okay if you stick to an Asian group, that doesn't mean you can't have other ethnic friends. Right now, I just think you need someone to "show you the ropes". Find some other clubs that you have interest in as well (?).

As for the language problem, don't try so hard to blend in imitating the accent. Your accent will fade away the longer you talk & hear other people speak the language. For your communication problem, I think the best way to keep a conversation going is to observe, share, reflect, & ask questions back to the person you're having a conversation with. Perhaps talk about a general topic, for instance tv shows, movies, music, etc.

 

If I am being entirely honest, I think Sydney is a terrible place to meet Aussies. Like most big cities actually. I am from Europe but moved to Sydney for a while and did I not have Aussie friends before I came I probably wouldn't have made one. First of all because I find them hard to find in a city that's mostly Asian (let's be honest here, there is more people from abroad and Asia than Aussies in Sydney), then because we had totally different schedule as I wasn't studying (are you studying ? If so that makes it easier) and also because Sydney itself is so full of foreigners that locals are completely disinterested in them. If you say you are from France/Germany/Malaysia or else they won't even care because they can meet one at every corner of every street so it makes it even harder for us, foreigners to catch their interest, and you have to consider the fact that most of them have had their friends for years and years so don't necessarily need new friends and therefore are less inclined to make an effort to meet new people and so on.


2- Aussies talk about the same thing as everybody else, people they know, drama, rugby/cricket and other sports etc... they also like to diss their current government and talk about ecology (well at least my Aussie friends did). If you are taking classes try and force yourself to talk to the people in your class as you will have a common interest and already something to talk about which can makes things easier.

3- I think it's normal to want to avoid people of your own country in order to build some kind of relationships with locals, I am the same when I travel. I avoid people from my country to avoid speaking my mother-tongue and because it's too easy to get comfortable with them. I do not try to act Aussie though, I did learn the local slang because well 'Maccas' suddenly become easier to say than Mcdonald and so on but at the end of the day I am French. I don't have a strong accent but I definitely don't have an Aussie accent and never will. It's fine though because I am proud of who I am and always try to make my origins my strength. I crack up jokes about my country, my people and how people perceive us and it always work. I want people to love me for me and my 'amazing' personality not by fitting the mold of what and who they normally like.

Stay yourself, it's important. It is so easy to tell when someone is playing an act and rather unappealing. I am sure your personally can do the job and seduce people, don't hide your accent or try to change how you pronounce things, accents are cute and yours makes you, you.

Now I am not in Sydney anymore unfortunately because otherwise I would have taken you under my wing and showed you a bunch of amazing and gay-friendly people but I am sure you'll find your own group of friends. It took me 4 months to find mine, those 4 months were long and sometimes dreadful but it was well worth it. Don't only focus on Aussies though us, foreigners/backpackers are pretty cool too I promise.

I suggest you go party in Oxford street (the gay friendly neighbourhood as you may know) as it's always full of Aussies so who knows, you may meet a lot of them at night there and have heaps of fun in a very gay-friendly environment so that's worth trying if you haven't already !


Not sure whether these advices were helpful or not but the thing you should remember of that massive text is BE YOURSELF, nobody can be yourself better than you and I am sure you are worth knowing and being known so go for it,be proud of who you are and not afraid of going towards people and it will all work out I am sure.


Good luck mate, I am sure you'll freaking love your time in Oz, I sure as heck miss mine !(*hug*)

 

Yo, Vietnamese living in Finland here. I rarely talk to my classmates at all, yeah well, language and all that, plus, getting to know people requires effort. And I'm lazy as hell. That said, I did manage to make a few friendship with people outside my country. But I have trouble maintaining them. I don't see it as cultural problem, it's merely harder to talk to people my own age.

You can find friends from people outside your age group, maybe some 30s, 40s, 50s. I make some friendships with older people through bible study. And oh boy, listening to their live's experience is utterly fascinating. Friends come and go. I was a lot like you at your age. I put white people on a bloody pedestal, 1 year later I found out they crap like everyone else.

Joining a club is definitely a good idea, if you can afford it. A big city should have a LGBT group.

P/S: I'm a big introvert so never really need a wide range of friends

 

ROFL For some reason, I imagine you as JinnyBoy xD

Just try joining a school club where you share similar interests with others. Even with culture shock, hobbies and similar interests can help you connect. Let's say you play CS:GO, try joining a CS:GO club!

With all due respect, don't let race determine what kind of friends you make. Sydney is around 20% Asian-Australian, so limiting yourself to just white friends isn't so wise. This goes for all people, step out of your comfort zone and you won't regret it.

Besides, Asians that are born in Australia, or any country in the West tend to adopt Western values. Same goes for those that immigrated at a young age. One example is the school I go to. It's at least 60% Asian and they're very accepting due to being Westernized.

 

I can completely understand not just wanting to associate with people from your home country, but it's a good idea to have some friends from there as well. There are going to be times when you're missing Malaysia and really fed up of Australia. It happens to all expats and even though Australia is a great place to live, it helps to have people who understand.

Also, don't worry about the accent. Most people aren't going to expect you to speak with an Aussie accent. Putting on a fake accent though and using lots of slang is just going to make you sound like you're trying too hard. Or taking the piss. Just keep your good attitude to meeting people and making the most of your time in Australia and I'm sure you'll make lots of friends, both Aussie and international.

 

I dunno, I mean, think of it like this, if you're the only asian in a sea of white, then you're quite literally at the center of it all.

 

Aw, well I am glad it helped a bit. My best friend is Aussie so I'll definitely come back.

 

American living in Korea, here~~ Culture shock can be quite rough, especially when you're alone... I definitely recommend finding some friends from your home country as well, because if you're always alone it will be harder and harder to find any friends, period. I have seen culture shock and adjustment referred to as a u curve, seen here~



Some people stay in the bottom pit a little longer than others, but if you try to find at least one good thing each day, it will be a lot easier to get out of it ^.^ I think the worst is something called "microagressions." These are things that native people will do (sometimes without thinking it to be rude, sometimes without really caring at all) that will start off funny and end up making you go slowly insane... For me, this is stuff like hearing, "Oh! You can use chopsticks!!!!!!" and being constantly pointed and stared at and such... it's really demeaning and annoying, and these are the things that will really push you the longer you stay in a new country.

As for regards to talking with others~ the best piece of advice I've heard is, "everyone loves to talk about themselves." When I'm meeting new people, I try to say something about myself or our surroundings or such and then try to redirect it towards them~ they'll appreciate being able to be heard, you'll learn more about them, and you're one step closer to a friendship ^.^

I would say, the things I've learned are... don't hang out with bitter people who hate the country, try to remember that things said or done to you are coming from a different worldview and may be well-meaning, and don't spend all of your time in one place (especially your room). These things will lead to further isolation~ so try to get out and explore and not get your hopes up too high in regards to anything. Nowhere is perfect, so try to keep that in mind and not get discouraged~ You can do it!

 

First, I'm not certain how you sound, but sometimes speaking slower (or ocasionally faster) will help. It also often helps if you don't try to imitate what to you is a foreign accent. Sure, speaking with the accent of your native land may sound somewhat strange to some, but you're likely to have a lot of that remaining anyway. Also, all languages have "slang" of some sort. It's one of the results of living language. It's quite possible the Aussie slang you know is out of date. Some terms only have a life of a few years.

On the communication problem, it might factor in with #1. Sure, you understand English, obviously at a level you are comfortable using it. However, there are many different dialects. I've grown up with (American) English as my primary language. I'd probably be completely lost in conversation anywhere in Australia, as it's not the same English. I know I used to go in some chat rooms where most of the people there were from the UK, and would periodically get lost in the conversations there due to the different dialect. (And made them laugh with my pronounciations of certain words when I shared a presentation I gave to a local ham club)

For friends, really it mostly comes down to socializing. Try to find a club/group that shares your interests. Sure, at first, you are probably going to be somewhat confused due to the above mentioned communications issues, but these will improve, and you'll natrually gravitate towards a few people. Don't worry so much about numbers of friends. That's not really important. Historically, most people only have a few friends, and many acquaintances.

 

Haha I've been a fan of him for a few months. Also, I'm a fan of Night Owl Cinematics and WahBanana Besides, after watching those people, I think I have an idea on how your English sounds. I'm sure it's quite understandable lah :icon_wink

Well, just try not to focus on race here. When you focus on finding new friends that share the same interests as you, you'll have a great time in Australia.

 

Don't feel like having Chinese/Malaysian/Asian friends will be like "selling out". Making friends as the 'foreigner' is so hard. Others suggested joining clubs other than a club made up of your culture and I think that's a great idea! You're in school so there's likely to be a GSA or LGBT+ group I would imagine, that would be a good place to start!

Don't give up and don't become one of those people that never leaves their apartment, and you'll be fine.