I haven't been in a long-term relationship yet, but I always see other people - whether it's real life or on TV shows or movies, cry over relationship break ups or arguments. So I guess it finally hit me today, and it had me wondering, is it normal if you don't cry over the drama of relationships? Would that make you a heartless person? Or to put it another way, is it normal to not be hurt at all if your partner breaks up with you, even if you guys were dating or married for a long time? Can the whole "plenty of fish" or "you'll probably find someone better" arguments be enough comfort to avoid getting emotionally wrecked by a relationship end or rough patch? It's not that I'm trying to avoid crying when I do get into a serious relationship, but I'm trying to avoid ever getting to the point of being suicidal over anyone. I don't think anyone is worth feeling suicidal over.
I think it depends on when and how you broke up... if it came out of nowhere or was the result of something like a move or death, then of course it will deal a huge blow and most people would cry about it... However, if it came from cheating or you were happy to get out of a bad relationship and move on, then I think it would be normal not to cry (or maybe to angry cry or rage or go drinking or something instead, haha) I think everyone reacts differently to breakups~ For me, I was with someone for several years and we were so good together, but he didn't want to put the time in and then something really horrible happened and everything changed... when we officially broke up, I'm pretty sure it had been over for a while already... I didn't cry at that time, because I knew the inevitable had happened and it wasn't meant to be... however when someone else broke up with me suddenly out of nowhere after we had even gone so far as to plan our future together and meet each other's families and such... that was rough... I wasn't allowed to cry because my family was against crying and I was home from college at that time... so I just buried my feelings and I think I just cried by myself in my car for a bit... I guess what I'm saying is~ everyone is different and each relationship is different as well, but if you don't go for something because you're already planning for its failure... you won't be able to experience a lot of beautiful things. <3 Lots of things can end in pain, but you'll be able to get through it and then be able to see the beauty of the good times you find later because you've seen the hard times already~ ^.^
I don't think it makes you a heartless person, at all. Different people react different ways, and your disposition may simply be a less emotional one. Personally, I would not cry over a relationship ending. The only reason I may grieve is if it was my fault, or if I hurt someone I care about and thus felt guilty. But if it was out of my control, there is zero sense in getting emotional over it. So to each his own. There are different triggers for everyone. People are often "expected" to be super emotional about relationship issues, but that isn't always the case.
You don't have to cry over an ended relationship. Mmm, for me, I'm a cold hearted person. My first real romantic feelings (not relationship, really) ended on a horrible note (this was when I wasn't so...cold hearted?) so I felt reeeeeaallly bad. I didn't cry, but I did lose a great lot of things in the meantime, and I'm still trying to get over it. My second one-kinda a crush thing-ended pretty badly too. I didn't cry, felt emo as hell, but now when I look back I ask myself-why the hell did you like her in the first place? Honestly I'm not very emotional, except when it comes to friendships-those I guard zealously. I haven't really had a 'proper' relationship-it's mostly flings and no strings attached types. But when it comes to the end of long term relationships-this including friends too-it does get me amazingllly...down. I just went through a rough patch with a friend a few days ago-it got me bad. We've known each other for almost 8? years, and best friends for 4. But I'm getting myself used to relationships ending-forcing myself, you could say. So I'm slowly getting over it. I would say I did cry, when I was complaining to a friend. But now I'm just kinda...going with it. I'm more the type to sweep arguments under the rug. Less dirty laundry to remember, you know? So basically...it depends from person to person? For me it's how deep the relationship was to begin with. I'd probably feel bad for a day, then I'll move on emotionally. And 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' and all that-I doubt it'll comfort someone well, especially if they got out of a long term relationship. Worse still, they were dumped badly. I don't have the highest EQ, as you can kinda tell. Honestly, unless they were obsessed with the relationship to the point of going psycho to get their lover back-I highly doubt many will become suicidal. Not you, in the very least. You seem cool-headed enough to think everything through before doing something as rash (and really, immature) as that. Nothing is worth dying for, to me.
