Fighting within LGBT

I have noticed this before. It is quite horrible how some people will fight for equality themselves but then become the people they were fighting against once they have what they want.

Honestly in my personal opinion, LGBT+ people who discriminate other LGBT+ subcategories are worse than non-LGBT+ people who discriminate LGBT+ in general because they know what it feels like, and are hurting others in the same way.

It is horrible and wrong, and it needs to stop. But it's simply how people are so it's an unrealistic hope.

 

I agree. In both online and real life I have noticed hostility between members of the community. I always think, why are we fighting within ourselves, when we should be fighting together?

 

Oppression rarely breeds empathy. Just because the community has been kicked around for decades won't decrease the number of jerks in the group.

 

Interesting. It reminds me of the stories I heard back when I was on Encyclopedia Dramatica of furries and bronies fighting over who is the better fandom. I always thought they were practically divisions of a common ancestor fandom of sorts, but then again, what do I know. It's ridiculous to bicker about what is better when it's practically the same. The same applies to this topic. We're all queer here, why fight about it because of some old transphobic geezer? It's really stupid. Just plain stupid. :dry:

 

It is possible that I have just been remarkably fortunate but I can honestly say that in my experience this has only been an online thing. I have found the community IRL to be remarkably inclusive and empathetic, online... well, not as much...

 

I also see this sometimes. Part of the problem is that the LGBT+ umbrella is so big. Notably with transgender people. I mean, gender non-conformity is common among cis LGB+ people, and I would guess that maybe per capita, they are a little bit more educated on trans issues; but maybe not by very much. But if we're under the same umbrella, wouldn't you expect them too? I'm not saying they should, I'm just saying the subconscious assumption that they do might be made. But then they still often display just as much ignorance as cis-straight people. I know that I have been let down by this before, including on this site. In fact, many trans people feel like they don't want to be a part of the LGBT+ umbrella at all, or that T shouldn't be included in it. And no, I'm not leading a secret transgender rebellion, lol. I appreciate the solidarity that exists and try to focus on that. It's not always easy, though...

 

My best guess is that our frustrations within the community are aggrandized due to all of the issues and stress we're already dealing with. Not that that's really an excuse to get into arguments, but perhaps just a valid contributing factor.

Also, the LGBT community is pretty large, so it's natural that there would be internal conflict. Nonsensical but natural.

 

I've seen plenty of this, and I agree with Yosia. It certainly hurts me more and wounds me more deeply to be judged by others within the lgbtq community.

I think this is one of the reasons why I so strongly dislike labels. People want to belong. It's just a part of being human. But some people, once they belong somewhere, use that feeling of "elite" membership to look down on others who aren't exactly like they are.

It was difficult enough for me to come out in my early 30's with no support structure in place and face the maliciousness of my ex-husband and church. I was in a very fragile and precarious place emotionally and mentally. And then to find that the community I expected and needed to embrace me was also filled with divisiveness, judgment, and hate...it was like dumping ice water on someone with a dangerously high fever.

When you're already suicidal with guilt and shame and feeling like there's no one in the world who can or will accept and love you...facing judgment and hate from within the lgbtq community can be the tipping point that ends it all. I was fortunate to survive those first few years after I came out. But why do we think the suicide rate is so high? It's not all because of the judgment and hate from the straight community.

At the end of the day people's character shines through no matter what their gender or sexual orientation. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised then that there are judgmental and hateful lbgtq individuals. But it sure doesn't help other members of our community who need a safe place.

I will never forget the first time I heard femme lesbians hating on butch lesbians. It shocked me so badly. I suddenly felt like a mouse quietly hiding while a hawk circled overhead. The hatred I thought I'd escaped just morphed into something even more hurtful.

And then, when I found an online community specifically for butches and femmes who appreciate each other...there I discovered hate against butch+butch lesbian relationships.

It makes me bleed inside sometimes. All the hate.

I am so very happy to have found EC. I have not seen the kind of judgment and divisiveness here that I have elsewhere. Thank you to everyone who makes Empty Closets such a safe and supportive place!!!

 

Scream it from the rooftops! That's what I was thinking exactly!

 

This is one of the reasons why I pretty much disassociate myself with the lgbt community - so much hatred and hypocrisy from within. The things I most often experience/witness are:

- racism/racial prejudice (usually experience this myself)
- transphobia
- fem-bashing

...this is why this stuff in particular pisses me off more than anything.

You must be living in a serious bubble of a city(or wherever); just saying.

 

I don't mind religion. I don't mind if people are religious. However, what I DO mind is when a religious person tells me I'm going to burn in hell and if I want to avoid doing so, I have to repent and give into their religion to be saved by God but then they'll turn around and tell everyone that God is all loving and will forgive people for their sins no matter what. It's the type of people who tell all of us to stop shoving our "agenda" down their throats but will waste no time shoving their religion in our faces. I don't think that it's cool or fair and I will have none of it.

 

Gonna have to agree with this. Not that it doesn't happen, but that it's not as common in real life as it is online.

 

You do see division and hostility a lot more online, but I think that's partly due to the limitations of non-verbal communication and people not reading comments with enough care. I'm sure if people met face to face to converse about the "big issues" the tone would be a lot more civilised and friendly. The absense of facial expression and body language does make a difference.

 

What really gripes me is when people try to diagnose themselves with non-existent conditions and sexualities. Take HOCD or 'trigenderism' neither of which have any truth in fact nor are they recognised medically, you cannot make up sexualities and then counter any argument with "but it's the way I feel". These are transient things people label themselves as before they have worked out who they are, the real answer is "I'm not sure", not to just pluck a tumblr diagnosis from nowhere.

 

I live in Chicago, have been out for over twenty years and, frankly, probably have more experience of the community face to face than almost anyone else on the board. Just saying...

 

Just because we all have to come out is why we are all lumped together.

Also... just because someone is in your demographic doesn't mean they aren't an asshole.

 

I agree that the lack of body language to help "read" things in the proper context in online situations is a real hindrance that we all face. Without those very important cues it can be all too easy to misinterpret tone, etc.

I also think it's easier for people to de-personalize others online. Things they would never say to someone's face IRL, or not with the same directness and harshness, they feel free to say online.

 

I distance myself from the overall LGBT+ community because of this, this however being only one f the reasons. It truly disgusts me how we preach equality and tolerance yet how intolerance and unable to treat others equally within the community itself. Until this happens i will remain cynical and distance myself from the LGBT+ community as a whole.

 

Yes, because age is such a critical (if not sole) factor in experience.

It's good to know though that those of us younger members who have experienced the utter bull that is the ass-backwards and hypocritical side of the lgbt+ community(which isn't anywhere near as 'nonexistent' and necessarily any better offline than online as certain folk would have us believe) have just been drugged up from whatever has been put into our bottles up 'til now.

Old people superiority logic strikes yet again, and is effective; surprise, surprise.

I'm not even going to be completely suckered into this.

I agree, but our apparent delusions don't hold any merit, so...