Both me and my bestfriend are bi and out (at school etc.). I don't know, but sometimes I feel like I'm in a competition with her. It sounds silly I know but I always feel like I'm competing with her to see who's the most gay. I think it's all just me and in my head but sometimes I feel jealous? It's confusing. She's already kissed girls and I haven't even had my first kiss and sometimes the fact that I refused to just randomly kiss another girl (this was during summer camp) makes me feel like a fake (homoromantic) bisexual. I'm always super excited when my best friend expresses interest in a boy and if she is going out on a date with one because then she'll stop talking about girls and dating them (and always telling people that's she is gay, when she is actually bi). I can't fully explain this feeling, it's like I want to be the only non-straight person in our friendship group. If she were ever to get a girlfriend and were in a same-sex relationship, I would be extremely jealous (although I would be happy for her, I would still be annoyed. But if she got a boyfriend, I'd love it and encourage it because at least that means she won't be getting a girlfriend) I sound so stupid and silly... But at the same time I love the fact that she's also bi because I can talk to her about stuff and she would understand (most of the time) and she's the only friend I have who I can obsess with over a hot girl or female celebrity. And also this internal competition excites me and makes me feel giddy (?) sometimes. But I know it's weird and not good and probably not normal as well.
First, competing with someone will never make you feel good about yourself, because you're not basing it on your own merit, but off of someone else and what they can do, and if they're close to you, you're only going to feel bad when you do surpass them... you're friends, not rivals, and her relationships won't affect yours (even if you're interested in the same person, because who they choose will be what matters~) Second, your sexuality isn't the only interesting thing about you and isn't what defines you~ I'm sure she has some things that she is jealous of as well~ ^.^ As time goes by, you'll definitely be happier to have someone to share your experiences with than to be the only non-straight girl in your group~ Third, you don't want to be the person who peaked in middle or high school~ You have a long life and a lot of journey ahead of you~ don't try to cram everything in at once, but try to enjoy each day as it comes~ I hope that helps and doesn't sound too cliche *hugs*
