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Can woman want multiple sex partners the same way men do?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Oct 5, 2015.

  1. Driftr

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    I always hear that woman are more into monogamy than men. I thought I'd just ask here for any first hand accounts.....is that necessarily true, or is it yet another societal construct placed on woman?

    P.S: I've always thought it was bizarre that they haven't made any hookup apps like ****** or bathhouses for lesbians lool. Or maybe there's just not enough demand for that...
     
  2. Jalo

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    It's totally possible. It's just not socially acceptable for women to sleep with multiple people.
     
  3. Kaiser

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    I think the better question is, can women actually decide anything for themselves?
     
  4. edy

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    as a person who is mostly female, i think it's totally possible
     
  5. DanDan

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    Anti-monogamy post.
    [​IMG]

    But seriously, these things don't have anything to do with gender.
     
    #5 DanDan, Oct 5, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2015
  6. Driftr

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    Cool. I appreciate your replies and insight. But I have another thing I want to ask. So would you girls (or any other lesbians on here) say that it is a disservice that they haven't made any hookup apps as popular as g***dr or they haven't built any bathhouses exclusively for lesbians? Or do you girls not care about that?

    Cause it's always puzzled me that in most first-world major cities, you'll definitely find a bathhouse for gay men but you barely ever hear of the same function for lesbians. And you always hear people talking about G***dr or T**ndr but there's never a popular lesbian hookup app on the same level as the former two.
     
    #6 Driftr, Oct 5, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2015
  7. Andrew99

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  8. loveislove01

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    I personally wouldn't care if there were lesbian hookup apps/ things like that (I'm too young to use anyway :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: but if one existed, I wouldn't)

    Yes, women can want multiple sex partners, but just in general, it seems like less women then men want it. And I think, due to being less popular with girls, it's part of the reason why people haven't made one yet.
     
  9. imnotreallysure

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    I do believe that women in general place more importance on monogamy than man, but there are plenty of women who have no interest in settling down and would rather have casual encounters - but whereas men are called 'studs', women are called 'sluts' - so there is a clear inequality there - and women are often their own worst enemy in this case when they go around calling each other whores and whatnot.
     
    #9 imnotreallysure, Oct 5, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2015
  10. Kaiser

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    It's always amused me that men who call women sluts and whatnot, are often the ones out there sleeping with every single one of them. If it is such a problem, why don't you quit sleeping with them and, maybe, settle down?

    It blows their minds, at least around here.
     
  11. TigerInATophat

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    Yes they can. In truth it would be very difficult to accurately determine how many women desire multiple sex parters, because even when you know one she'd be unlikely to freely state it. The societal consequences of acting on such a desire (or even just admitting to wanting such a thing) can be severely damaging to just about every area of a woman's life, and once the label "slut" etc has been attached it is virtually impossible to shake off.

    To give an example, I have a friend who will admit, although only to me and a couple of other individuals, that she has always been naturally promiscuous (her choice of words). She prefers more casual friends with benefits type sex and would often be "dating" 2 or 3 men in this way at the same time, with all parties understanding this was nothing serious. However she had to keep this side of her life totally secret from her family, colleagues, and most acquaintances (in particular women, who ironically were the ones who'd judge her most harshly). And when it did all come out it caused quite a shitstorm.

    Even before then some of the problems she had included serious issues like:

    Almost being refused an operation she needed and had been waiting years to get, because she revealed to a nurse details about sexual partners due to a recent contraceptive mishap that had required her to take the morning after pill. The procedure was aimed at women who weren't planning any more children and so this revelation cast doubt on her suitability, despite the fact that they had been perfectly willing to do it without question when they thought she was in a monogamous relationship in which such a mishap could just as easily have occurred.

    She also was too frightened to tell anyone about a particularly brutal sexual assault that was committed against her by a work connection, because she knew that if the police investigated and/or it went to court then all the details of her private life would come out; not only shedding doubt on her credibility as a victim but also meaning her family including her two kids would hear about it.





    In regards to available lesbian services and such, I'm not much one for apps (no smartphone) so I don't really know if such a thing exists or how popular it could be.

    The lack of availability of lesbian bathhouses or similar places that cater to females probably has more to do with safety concerns. Just because an establishment is aimed at lesbians doesn't mean that is all it will attract. I remember a few years back when an Ann Summers shop opened in town, me and my mother popped in just to have a look and a girl that worked there said it had only been open 3 days and already they'd had some problems with weird men hanging around and behaving inappropriately making the female customers uncomfortable. Baring in mind this was just a shop selling lingerie and a small selection of sex toys to the general public, pretty tame really. I suppose if something like lesbian bath houses became the norm as their gay male equivalent places are, they might encounter less problems over time. But I don't see it happening in the near future. I don't personally consider it a disservice as I am not interested in such, but I can see how it would be potentially annoying for a lesbian seeking those things.
     
  12. biAnnika

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    I have no clue in what way men want multiple sex partners. That's always been a bit of a mystery to me, frankly. I suspect there are lots of ways men want multiple sex partners.

    I do desire multiple sex partners. No doubt about it. But would I ever want anonymous hookups from apps or at bath houses? Ummmmno, tyvm. I would hate that. So no, I am in no way offended or feel left out that people haven't tried to market anonymous hookup sites or apps to me.

    So yeah...the *desire* for multiple partners is not limited to men (at all, at all). But it is possible that we don't desire them in "the same way men do". On the other hand, I also believe there are women who do. And I believe there are men who desire multiple partners in the way women tend to.
     
  13. DreamerBoy17

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    Pretty sure women would have more sex partners if they weren't called sluts for it... It's very unnacceptable in our society for things like that. Double standards.
     
  14. Beebop

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    There is a lesbian hookup app. I'd post its name, but it seems that the other hookup apps get censored, so I'll digress. I've never used it as I attract enough weird people without the use of those types of apps. Casual encounters/online dating is of no interest to me. Neither are multiple sex partners. I guess I'm just a prude.
     
  15. Straight ally

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    a woman can, sure, but i believe its less common in woman than in men. Due to both society and biological reasons.

    You have to go back in time to the times where human population was low, reproduction was vital. Men would be driven by instinct to get as many women as possible , pregnant. On the other hand, women, could only get pregnant once each 9months, and being pregnant and having childs resulted in them requiring more resources, and even was a risky event, so most of them where more likely to be choosier regarding who got to get them pregnant. And even today when we use condoms and ehen most of the sexual encounters are for getting pleasure, the instinct remains.

    On the other hand, society's pressure intensifies this.
     
  16. Driftr

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    Nice. And thanks again, for your insights. I'm starting to slowly understand female sexuality better. But I'm curious about one other thing.

    Are there any woman here who really feel more polygamous in nature? I know a lot of the females who responded said that they don't care for multiple sex partners, but is there any females here who genuinely wants to or is living that lifestyle? Also, do you get over the societal shame or does that still haunt you?
     
  17. timo

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    "You say that I'm a slut
    It ain't your business who I'm fucking with
    A dude could fuck 3 bitches and they'd say that he's the man
    But I get it in with twins, she's a whore
    That's what they saying"
     
  18. Images and Words

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    One word answer - Yes.
    To go into more detail - The idea of multiple sex partners being bad is a societal construct. It's only seen as bad for women because they're supposed to be "innocent" - but if they want to fuck every guy in town and have a big sign pointing at them saying "fuck me" then okay. It's their choice. Nobody should make that choice for them.
    :grin:
     
  19. blueshadedsoul

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    Exactly. I'm not sure about women being naturally more monogamous, but I think the judgment that society makes of it definitely plays a big part on why women tend to have less sexual partners.
     
  20. biAnnika

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    First (and I weary of saying it), I believe you are asking about polyamory, not polygamy. I have zero interest in being married to two or more people.

    Second, yes, I do feel that my nature is polyamorous.

    Third, there are *many* different polyamorous lifestyles. Are you thinking of any one in particular, or do you genuinely mean "any kind of poly lifestyle"?

    I am living one kind of poly lifestyle. My partner has no issues if I love more than just her...and I do. Sex, however, is something we're still figuring out...so far (29 years), we have been sexually monogamous. In all likelihood, if we agree to expand sexually, it will be together (i.e., both of us with someone I love and whom my partner knows and trusts).

    I feel like I'm working on my societal shame issues now. I would also think that (even if they don't go away) we would be sufficiently discreet that they would be internal-only. I mean...people know my partner and I are a couple, but they don't really know *anything* about what we do behind closed doors. If we have a friend visit, they could speculate all they want (and I'm sure that even now, some do), but they similarly have no idea whether we're having sex with that person. Most would argue that it's none of their business.