I dislike all my family members cause I've realized they've always treated Gay Guys as weird and taboo. What they don't accept is that their son and brother is one of the Gay guys and all their comments hurt me each time they say it. My brother is the worst, it's like he can't even use the word stupid and he has to say "oh that song is so gay," instead of, "oh that song is kinda stupid." I hate those comments and I used to think, they were a nice family. I guess I was wrong, my mother has pretty much forgotten and ignored that I told her that I was gay because again she mentions "oh if you go out you'll meet a woman." In my head I'm just like stop saying that because you really know that I am gay. It's stupid, and this is nothing to do with homophobia. But my mother and father pretty much hate everything I do, they say "No don't do that cause it's too expensive," and other reasons that are so dumb. In fact I have no hope with this family that is why I live in Dreamland. so I don't have to deal with their homophobia, but then they piss me off and make me realize that humanity is probably always going to disappoint me in the end. They are meant to support me but the only reason they support me is because I have a disability which is a stupid reason, I just feel like standing up and giving them an ultimatum, "If you don't accept my sexuality, I am going to leave this entire family behind with no trace of my relation to them." I am going to do that once I am stable enough to begin living on my own.
I kind of want some tips on how to deal with my family. How do I shut out all the homophobic stuff they are doing without affecting my position of being out to the rest of the world except for my family.
Really sorry to hear that you have to feel this way about your family. If it helps to hear, I feel a similar way about mine. If you feel you can somehow smooth things out, by all means do so, but, if not, don't feel like you have to 'wait for them to come around'. Not everybody has family that will be supportive (some people go to the grave without ever gaining acceptance) and, even bound by blood, they are in the same boat as friends in that sometimes it may be best to just say screw 'em; you don't need them added to your list of problems. I forget how old you are, but my advice(if possible) would be to limit being around the nonsense/do as much of your own thing as you can. If all they do is speak and act ignorant, the best thing you could for your sanity, until you are able to be in your own, is to make sure you are around as little of it as possible.
As hard as it is, we sometimes need to look at things from a different angle and try to understand where they are coming from. That doesn't mean accepting what they say or agreeing with them, but it's about recognising the deeply ingrained thinking that leads to homophobic comments and outright denial of our sexuality. Have you read about the parent/family stages in our resources area? If not, here it is:Empty Closets - Parent and Family Stages of Grief The last of the five stages, is acceptance from them and it can take time (and some pain) before you get there. Most parents do come round in the end, but you have to decide how long you can wait for them to come round. Maybe you will leave home first, I don't know, but while you are there it is useful to have the five stages in mind, because it gives you an insight into the reasoning for their remarks. It sounds like your Mum is stuck in the denial - bargaining stages to me.
