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Has anyone here ever been homeless?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Oct 6, 2015.

  1. Driftr

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    I'm feeling kinda paranoid right now. Long story but I got into an arguement with a sibling whose threatening to out me so I just want to really be ready for the worst case scenario.

    Could someone whose ever been suddenly homeless, or knows anything about homelessness give me some advice? Is it possible to somehow stay warm on winter nights? Can you get hypothermia even though you're layered up with like 3-5 jackets or something?

    Sorry if I seem like I'm panicking or something but I just want to be on the safe side. Thanks so much in advance and I appreciate any help that you guys give me.
     
  2. BelleFromHell

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    I was back in May of this year. I went through two homeless shelters, then I started living with a family friend. I live with my god-sister and her boyfriend now, although I'm not getting my hopes up.

    Here's my advice.

    1) Are there any friends/family members who you feel safe around and will be willing to take you in, at least temporarily? This is probably the best option, so if you have it, take it.

    2) Are there any homeless shelters in your area? I know a lot of them are pretty nasty (the last one I stayed in certainly was), but it's still better than living on the street. If you live in a homophobic area and/or wind up in a religious shelter, it's best that you keep your orientation hidden. As bad as that sounds, some religious-based shelters won't let LGBT kids in. There are some shelters made for LGBT youth, like "Lost N Found Youth" in Atlanta. If you can find one, definitely go there.

    3) If you're eligible, get food stamps ASAP. This can be a life saver. Even if you're fortunate enough to find someone who will take you in, food can be very expensive, and this can be a big weight off their shoulders. Try to get other forms of government assistance if you can. I can't stress how important this is. Had it not been for food stamps, I'd probably be dead by now. Yes, people will judge the hell out of you, and you may feel a little guilty, but surviving is worth it.

    I really wish I had better advice to give. You'll be in my thoughts, and I wish you the best. (*hug*)
     
    #2 BelleFromHell, Oct 6, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2015
  3. HuskyPup

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    Close, after college, but I was lucky, had some friends I stayed with for a few months, got food stamps and luckily, in 3 months, I got a job waiting tables and then rented a room in a shared house with some other friends. That was right after I got my English degree, and almost with a 4.0 AVG, and wasn't getting along with my folks...I think the best first step is to think of everyone you know, who might be able to help; also, public assistance, as mentioned above...wish I had better advice, here; it's so hard in the US; we don't seem to be very good at helping people in need, sad to say :frowning2:

    As for winter camping: a tent is useful, though it's good to have it hidden, and also, a sleeping bag. I did know a friend who spent a winter here in Baltimore outside this way, and he made it, but certainly has some stories to tell. I'd wondered where he'd disappeared to, and just ran into him a few weeks back; now he's sharing a house and helping this lady take care of her 16 cats...yes, 16 cats. But he says it beats the cold.
     
  4. MetalRice

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    I was once almost homeless, but the situation got rectified thankfully.
     
  5. Driftr

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    Thank you guys so much for all of the support and advice. Thankfully she hasn't outed me yet, but I just can't live with my parents anymore without thinking about a plan B. They're both homophobic and there's no changing them I'm afraid. So I guess it's up to me to find my way out if the worst case scenario if it actually happens
     
  6. SemiCharmedLife

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    How old are you, and are you located anywhere near a major city? A lot of cities have LGBT youth groups that might be able to connect you with resources should you find yourself kicked out.

    Also, have you thought about telling any of your friends? It can really help to have a supportive friend to turn to if you're having trouble with your parents
     
  7. Driftr

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    Thanks for asking. I'm 22, and live in the GTA (Greater Toronto Area). I haven't really went out to look for any LGBT youth groups but I think it's about time anyway cause I still have no LGBT friends at all.

    I have one friend that I'm pretty close with and I think he might take me in because when his parents kicked him out, I took him in, so ...hopefully he does the same lol.
     
  8. SemiCharmedLife

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    I can't say for certain but I imagine there are lots of great resources for LGBT people in Toronto (Canadian EC-ers, back me up on this?). Look into them, connect with the ones that seem most helpful and welcoming, and make sure you have the best support system possible should your family not support you.
     
  9. zgirl81

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    My husband and I have done a few stints couch surfing. The biggest thing is to find friends/family/church members/anyone who is willing to help support you. It can be something as little as just letting you shower at their house or do laundry for free, or as much as paying for a month's rent, every little thing adds up!

    When you're buying food, try to get things like rice, lentils, eggs, and peanut butter. They're filling and cheap and most of all fairly healthy. Frozen and canned veggies are cheaper than fresh. Same with fruits. Processed or boxed meals are much more expensive than they seem when you look at them on the grocery shelf and tend to not actually fill you up. Canned tuna is a great and fairly cheap meat. Also buy chicken legs/thighs/liver instead of the breast meat. (Same nutritional value, slightly more effort, MUCH cheaper.)

    If you do happen to stay at a friend's house, try to do some unexpected things like make dinner every night, do dishes, or take care of their yard. It will help to make them feel more welcoming for you to stay longer if needed. And it will help you keep your friends friendly! :slight_smile:

    Also, search for a job ASAP. More people are willing to let you crash with them if you're actively searching for work and a home. SNAP and Foodstamps are also there for people in your situation, and DO NOT EVER be ashamed to take assistance in whatever form it comes in. Sleep indoors in the winter... try your hardest to not have to resort to a tent in a Canadian winter.

    When we've had financial problems we've looked at all the help we received as gifts to pay forward in the future. Looking at it as welfare can be extremely depressing and cause more trouble than it's worth. Finally I'm getting to the point where I'm paying down some debts, and I can't wait to help out others like they've helped out my family.

    Keep your wits about you, and you will be ok! You're already planning, so it's likely you'll be fine in the event of the worst case scenario. And, if you're ever in MN you've got a couch with us to crash on!
     
  10. Driftr

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    Thanks a lot for your advice. I can't lie though, I am still paranoid of the cold. It's because I've heard all these stories of homeless people freezing to death and it makes me worried. Plus, I've heard that younger men have a harder time finding shelters because families and woman are prioritized for shelters before they consider young men.

    My sister is an asshole though. Sorry for the harsh language. She was being an overbearing bossy bitch to my younger sister and I just had enough after years and years of this. I call her out for it and the argument escalates until she threatened to expose my sexuality which she dubbed a "secret" in front of my mom and my mom kept asking what it was. Now I think my mom probably knows I'm gay because I keep pretending to be a straight ally when I'm openly defending gays every time she wants to go on a homophobic rant.

    And now I just can't bring myself to talk to her anymore after dangling such a secret in front of my mom like that. I feel like eventually, she'll tell her and that's why I want to be as prepared as possible.

    I know what I could potentially face, but I'm just sitting tough. I honestly have no tears to shed for all of this because I just feel like it's not worth them.

    I know that I have a few friends that I think will have no problem if I crash, but I don't know how long they will be fine with me staying over and I don't know long I will be homeless. I don't have any other extended family living near us and my in-laws are all religious homophobes and they'll call my mom to ask why I'm kicked out.

    Will I be fine? When the temperature hit -26 degrees C (or -14.8 degrees F), will I be warm enough if I have extra layers? Why do some homeless people freeze to death? Are they just the ones that didn't have enough layers?

    Sorry if I'm spewing out so many questions but I just feel like I need a place to just let it all out. I just hate it when secrets like this get in the wrong hands.
     
  11. happydavid

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    No because I've been blessed with an awesome dad
     
  12. Nikky DoUrden

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    This is important, if thers a good chance he'll take u in then don't sleep in the streets. Worse case scenario for u should be u'll just sleep in his place, not eat his food not make a hassle it'll be like on the streets just with a safe place to sleep in.
     
  13. StoicHeart

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    Or u could find a horny older man that'll let u settle your rent other ways :wink: sorry had to get that outta my system. Its kinda a naughty fantasy of mine to take in a stray so to speak 0//0

    But seriously friends and public assistance is your best bet or get yourself a job and rent a little place. Just try not to get stuck on the streets in that weather. I live in Missouri and we had beople freeze to death in their homes durring power outages in the winter so all the insightful and experienced advice above is best. I had to live outta my car for a couple months just b4 winter really hit and it was still getting damn cold and miserable
     
  14. Young Blood

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    Hey, I also live in the GTA and I was homeless for about a month in May this year. There are a lot of youth shelters that will take people in up to 25 years old if I'm not mistaken. I would say try to stay with a friend or family member if you can because sleeping on park benches? Not the greatest lol. But at least you know you'll be safe and will feel a lot more comfortable and they could probably help you get your life on track and figure out next steps. If you feel like you might be kicked out (which I really hope you don't) start saving up money now. Having money on the side for me really helped. I was able to have that money as emergency money and helped carry me through, along with other money I earned from working, until I got my own place a month later.
    I really hope things work out and it doesn't come to you being kicked out...it's really not a pleasant experience but all in all, it's not too bad. I suppose I just got lucky I found a friend who I could stay with for a bit before getting a place. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to and I hope this helped :slight_smile:
     
    #14 Young Blood, Oct 15, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 15, 2015
  15. ScatteredEarth

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    See if there's a youth center/house nearby, they provide temporary shelter for youth and have campaigns supporting LGBT people usually. If you're over the age of 21 I believe it is, you can try homeless shelters as well. This is of course, if you've exhausted the possibility of staying with friends/extended family.