Trying To Tell Someone - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

string3343 · 9th Jan 2009, 09:04 PM

Have you ever tried to hint to someone that you are gay, but they just do NOT get it at all? Last weekend I was chatting on aim with a friend, and he was trying to guess who I liked. I told him that we both had a class together with this person, and after he went through every girl possible and I said no to all of them he was stumped. I told him that he was entirely on the wrong track, and he is making an assumption that he should not be making. Throughout the conversation I kept referring to the guy as "the person" which sounded really awkward and was supposed to be a hint. By the way, this was after we had, had a chat about homosexuality the night before and we agreed that we hated gay stereotypes.

starfish · 9th Jan 2009, 09:12 PM

You just need to straight up tell him. Most people are bad at picking up on hints.

I just came out for the first time day, and it was very hard to say those words. Now that I did I am so glad that I did.

9th Jan 2009, 09:14 PM

Yes however only tell him if you are 100% comfortable with telling him don't feel forced to come out to him.And yes i have done that before but people haven't picked up on it yet.

string3343 · 9th Jan 2009, 09:17 PM

On some level I did not really think that he was going to put the pieces together, and I might have denied it even he somehow did. I think that he is gay too though as he has said stuff like "I have never been attracted to a woman" (although he denies being attracted to guys, go figure...)

crystaltriforce · 9th Jan 2009, 09:20 PM

on the day before christmas eve i went out to the store with my brother and i steered the converstation to gay rights because i couldn't just say i like guys for some reason and i kept stering the conversation back to gay rights and he just wouldn't get it. even after i asked him about how he feels about homosexuality.

beckyg · 10th Jan 2009, 07:17 AM

Yeah, sounds like you just need to say it and open up the conversation between the both of you.

Nick · 10th Jan 2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starfish

You just need to straight up tell him.

HA ! Sorry... But yeah, I agree. Unfortunately people usually seem to be allergic to joining the dots even when they are numbered for them.

At least if he had no idea when you do tell him you can retell that story and make him feel a bit silly

For me it's actually been the other way around a few times, where I haven't been dropping hints (not consciously, anyway) and they have picked up on it. But then again, I have never dropped hints for people to find on purpose.

cromig · 10th Jan 2009, 12:20 PM

i did the same thing for a while. then eventually when i felt like i could say something and i felt comfortable with them i said something. so if you are close say something! it doesnt change who you are!

Bunny · 10th Jan 2009, 04:04 PM

YES.

Oh my god people are so dense.
Tried telling a friend, went something like,
"I just prefer identifying as male."
"O ya I understand."
...She didn't. Still calls me 'she', everything.

And then there was the time with my mom where I actually mentioned binding my breasts and said, "Sometimes I just don't feel like being a girl. -HINTHINT-"
Still nothing.

Maybe I should actually use the word 'trannsexual'. I'm just scared of freaking people out. -sigh-

marri · 11th Jan 2009, 08:12 PM

my friends throw jokes around a lot, sometimes its about being gay (honestly really nothing hurtful or serious) and I recently got my hair cut real short and my friend told me she really liked it and that I looked like a dyke, I told her it was because I was one, but it went way over her head.

it's my way of coming out without really coming out.. this feels good because I feel like I am being honest

9th Jan 2009, 09:04 PM	#1
string3343 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: to my brother!! Location: United States Age: 19 Posts: 80 Join Date: Jul 2008	Trying To Tell Someone Have you ever tried to hint to someone that you are gay, but they just do NOT get it at all? Last weekend I was chatting on aim with a friend, and he was trying to guess who I liked. I told him that we both had a class together with this person, and after he went through every girl possible and I said no to all of them he was stumped. I told him that he was entirely on the wrong track, and he is making an assumption that he should not be making. Throughout the conversation I kept referring to the guy as "the person" which sounded really awkward and was supposed to be a hint. By the way, this was after we had, had a chat about homosexuality the night before and we agreed that we hated gay stereotypes.

9th Jan 2009, 09:12 PM	#2
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,108 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Trying To Tell Someone You just need to straight up tell him. Most people are bad at picking up on hints. I just came out for the first time day, and it was very hard to say those words. Now that I did I am so glad that I did. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

9th Jan 2009, 09:14 PM	#3
Urman Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Trying To Tell Someone Yes however only tell him if you are 100% comfortable with telling him don't feel forced to come out to him.And yes i have done that before but people haven't picked up on it yet.

9th Jan 2009, 09:17 PM	#4
string3343 Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: to my brother!! Location: United States Age: 19 Posts: 80 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Trying To Tell Someone On some level I did not really think that he was going to put the pieces together, and I might have denied it even he somehow did. I think that he is gay too though as he has said stuff like "I have never been attracted to a woman" (although he denies being attracted to guys, go figure...)

9th Jan 2009, 09:20 PM	#5
crystaltriforce raised by nintendo and sega Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but extended family Location: outside of Philadelphia Age: 21 Posts: 1,825 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Trying To Tell Someone on the day before christmas eve i went out to the store with my brother and i steered the converstation to gay rights because i couldn't just say i like guys for some reason and i kept stering the conversation back to gay rights and he just wouldn't get it. even after i asked him about how he feels about homosexuality. __________________ we need masculinity....PUT ON THE "FUZZY FUZZY CUTE CUTE" SONG!!!

10th Jan 2009, 07:17 AM	#6
beckyg PFLAG Mom Community Liaison Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out to everyone/Yes, parents come out too! Location: Middle of Oregon Age: 50 Posts: 7,572 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Trying To Tell Someone Yeah, sounds like you just need to say it and open up the conversation between the both of you. __________________ "When we're free to love anyone we choose, When this worlds big enough for all different views, When we're all free to worship from our own kind of pew, Then we shall be free" ~ Garth Brooks

10th Jan 2009, 12:20 PM	#8
cromig Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: everyone now!!!!! Location: North Carolina Age: 21 Posts: 86 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: Trying To Tell Someone i did the same thing for a while. then eventually when i felt like i could say something and i felt comfortable with them i said something. so if you are close say something! it doesnt change who you are!

10th Jan 2009, 04:04 PM	#9
Bunny EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Boys <3 Out Status: if they would only ask Location: Canada~ Age: 18 Posts: 430 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Trying To Tell Someone YES. Oh my god people are so dense. Tried telling a friend, went something like, "I just prefer identifying as male." "O ya I understand." ...She didn't. Still calls me 'she', everything. And then there was the time with my mom where I actually mentioned binding my breasts and said, "Sometimes I just don't feel like being a girl. -HINTHINT-" Still nothing. Maybe I should actually use the word 'trannsexual'. I'm just scared of freaking people out. -sigh-

11th Jan 2009, 08:12 PM	#10
marri Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Queer Out Status: not Location: Montreal :) Age: 20 Posts: 62 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Trying To Tell Someone my friends throw jokes around a lot, sometimes its about being gay (honestly really nothing hurtful or serious) and I recently got my hair cut real short and my friend told me she really liked it and that I looked like a dyke, I told her it was because I was one, but it went way over her head. it's my way of coming out without really coming out.. this feels good because I feel like I am being honest __________________ (: