Assuming someone's gender/sexuality by the way they look, act, and sound

Based on my appearance people always think I'm straight. I often get asked if I have a boyfriend. I don't really take offence to that because heterosexuality is the default sexuality in this world. But it saddens me that people don't think outside the box.

 

I think it's okay, as long as it's not voiced. It's natural to assume one is a boy or a girl based on how they look alone. Sometimes it's wrong and that's alright. Just as long as we correct our thinking as in, "Oh, that's actually a boy" then things are fine. Many people mistake me for female and I don't necessarily blame them, I just tell them that I'm not and that's the end of that.

 

I don't mind it, so long as they ask, giving me the opportunity to correct them if necessary. What I do not like is when people make assumptions which they don't even bother to confirm before they start spreading misinformation as if it were fact.

 

In my case, they were right. :eusa_eh:

 

People kind of assume I'm not sexually inclined, or just going to become a monk, when it comes to matters of sexuality. Aside from it being kind of funny (for me and my situation), especially when I do speak about finding somebody attractive, it allows me to discuss various things and not be considered anything.

Gender, no, nobody really assumes anything about that. Nobody around here tends to jump to the conclusion of, oh, so and so could be this or that. That is both a blessing and a burden, I'd say.

 

Well it goes deeper than that, but yeah, it can be possible to tell these things about someone if you're observant.

 

I think it's unrealistic to ask that gender not be assumed.

It'd make things overly complicated, confusing, annoying, and stressful. The vast majority of people are male or female both physically and by their own personal identification. Like high 90% I'm pretty sure so 99 times out of a hundred assuming someone is male or female you're going to be correct.

I think in these situations it should go something like this

Person 1, "Sup man?"

Person 2, "I'm not male, I'm actually agendered and I prefer X pronouns."

Person 1, "Oh my bad"

Then life goes on. The non assuming method requires that everytime you meet a person ( and you meet a lot of people ) that you ask their gender at some point to which 99 times out of a 100 they are going to say either male or female and it just makes that same conversation which is inescapable amplified to the thousandth degree.


As for sexuality assumptions that depends really.

If you happen to notice a male friend is affectionate towards and a little flirty with men I think it's fair to assume they're gay. On the other hand if they are just feminine and you assume they're gay that's a no-no.

 

I've heard of lesbian trans women complain about being mistaken for effeminate gay men or drag queens, and gay men who have been mistaken as either trans women or straight men. Same thing with trans men and butch lesbians, especially if they're attracted to women and haven't transitioned.

People are entitled to their opinions, so I just correct them, if they're close to me, or let it go, if it's a stranger. Most people don't even know what genderqueer is, and I'm not super picky with pronouns. Hearing of another trans woman of color and thinking, "This could be me, if I were 100% out" is probably a bigger concern, honestly.

The more people come out, and the more aware the public becomes of LGBT diversity, the less frequent these sorts of stereotypes become. And if you fit the stereotype of your group, I say rock it! Because if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be where we are today.

 

People always assume I'm straight. And when I tell them I'm Gay, they're always surprised.

 

I agree with many people here in this thread, and I think it's not realistic to want others to automatically know your gender or sexuality. Stereotyping people is a natural thing, and as long as they're not rude about the stereotype and accept a correction in their way of thinking then it's cool with me.

 

I think it's normal and a part of life to make assumptions about others really, I mean I have to admit that I do this sometimes.

In terms of peoples assumptions about me-

Gender: Not really too much of an issue, although I get people joking about it sometimes that I'm the brother they never had or something, I used to get a couple of people asking when I was going to tell my parents I'm trans, which I really wasn't expecting since I have a fairly feminine look going on and I'm cis so yeah, they were completely wrong on that one. These days however, I don't really get that anymore.

Sexuality-People tend to assume right on this one, well most of the time. Still get asked about boyfriends and stuff.

 

^pretty much this.

People make assumptions about my orientation and identity all the time, and I just kinda roll with it. It's fun to see what stereotypes I fit into :lol:

 

Most people assume I'm straight because I'm not very out and I don't really look stereotypically like anything because I lack a personal style. Sometimes I look femme, sometimes I look tomboyish, and sometimes I look punk.
I do however find it amusing when people find out I'm bi. They looked so shocked I just have to laugh.
Then again, you cannot blame people for judging. It is natural for people to make assumptions. It is annoying I suppose, but looking at people and judging is kind of automatic. Try to go one day without looking at people and not thinking "What a jerk," "Seems stuck-up," "He's such a (racial slur)," ect. Our brain is quick to make assessments of what we see in front of us.
Note, I did not mean to be racist. I am not racist, I hate all people equally.

 

I get irritated when the same person keeps assuming im straight by asking me about girlfriends or something like that. However, i let it go.
If its people that are not as close, then i could care less.

 

I don't mind if people are surprised to find out that I'm gay (most people don't seem to be bothered either way) it only really bothers me if people treat me like I'm still in the closet and try to encourage me to be more animated and more flamboyant, because apparently, that's how gay men are supposed to act, and because I'm more reserved and have a toned down personality, that must mean I'm still trying to cover up my sexuality. Fuck that. I don't tell other people how to behave and I don't need others deciding how I should behave.

 

Well, it's only natural to assume that someone is female or male if they present themselves in such a way, since society has a binary way of looking at gender. In other cases where people present themselves in a more androgynous way I can understand that people might get confused since it isn't that common.

Of course one should'nt assume that someone is gay or straight depending on how they look because a lot of gay people don't "act gay" or "look gay". However if someone does assume it, don't take offense, instead explain that just because someone is attracted to the same gender doesn't mean they act a certain way. It's better to educate people than to try to start a war.

 

My English and math teachers call me sweetheart or honey or other feminine nicknames and I makes me uncomfortable because I don't really identify with femininity. Some people just....:bang:

 

Who says those are feminine nicknames? Both of my parents refer to each other as that, and I like using sweetheart on any gender. I think they're trying to be warm and inviting, they just dont know its having the opposite effect, so dont get too mad at them, ok?

 

Ya you have a good point