When a female hits a male...

Hit her back. Obviously.

So, unfortunately, justifiable uses of force always place the burden of proof on the person using force. It sucks, because if you defend yourself, or retaliate in a proportional way, you're the one with explaining to do. It's shitty, but that's the way it is.

Now, there is an asymmetry in the popular culture with respect to hitting women. I believe this comes from a history of how and under what circumstances men have hit women.

That doesn't make retaliation necessarily problematic, as long as it's proportional.

For my part, I try to assume that a person who uses force is in the right, and then work my way to proving they were actually in the wrong. Why do I do this? Because I know what it's like to fear physical attack just for who I am, and I would want people to be sympathetic to me if I had to use force.

~ Adrienne

 

*Waits for it...*

 

And then you will have explaining to do. Ideally, you shouldn't have to hit a person when there are no witnesses around. If you do have to do that, then you're in a tough spot just like all people who use justifiable force are in a tough spot. Because it's an affirmative defense. That's how our legal system works.

I agree that there are many sexist biases in the legal system. There are biases that fuck over men who use justifiable force against women. There are biases that fuck over women who make valid allegations of rape by men. There are biases against gay and bisexual people who are attacked. Transgender people get shit on by the police all of the time.

But I would argue law enforcement itself is not as bad as the general population--that is, juries.

 

hide the body somewhere inconspicuous i guess

 

OOps, Sorry, I thought it said 'when a girl hits ON him...."
Heres the rule dude. You dont get to hit her back. You dont get to do anything. Just take it like a man, and wimper off. It happens. Get used to it.
You dont get to hit girls. Its been that way for a long time now

 

Move out of the way so you don't get hit

 

Maintain a blocking, defensive posture and back away. Be the bigger person and don't feed into the violence.

 

I don't know: I've never had an issue hitting a girl if I thought they deserved it (eg, self-defense, making me extremely upset, asking me to). Then again, I've never felt male-female double standards should apply to me, and am a bit on the smaller side, so that probably plays a part, too.

For a man's man, or something, have witnesses, try not to leave any marks, but do enough to disable her. The same thing you'd probably do, anyway, except while being more cautious, since people still believe women are weaker, more valuable, and such.

 

No one can be convicted of abuse if there is no evidence regardless of gender.

Often times, men are not convicted of domestic violence even when the authorities are contacted. When officers arrive on the premises, they divide the couple and that could lead to one of them being handcuffed and drive away, but charges will never hold up unless there is bruising, blood, cuts, etc. A woman cannot simply claim that a man pushed her and he is sentenced with battery regardless of how simple the media portrays it. The reason why rates of recording violence against men by women are so uncommon because men are less likely to report those instances and because women are less likely to leave physical evidence than men.

It is risky business to claim that there is a right way to react to violence. Whether we want to fight back. Whether we want to run. Etc. My recommendation is to contact authorities if the blow was strong enough to leave physical evidence. Remove yourself from the situation and report it afterwards if it was something that was clearly still wrong and violent, but you were not overtly harmed by it. And absolutely defend yourself if you feel that your well-being is being put in danger.

The important thing is to be smart about the decisions that we make. There are far too many misconceptions about what can be done when members of either gender turn violent and it is important that we learn our rights and the realities of what occurs in these cases, but things are not quite as cut and dry as how the media presents them.

 

Depends on how hard someone hits me. But with the whole "guys don't hit girls", how about striving not to hit anyone? Because that absurd rule also implies that it's alright to hit guys. I just work hard not to get to that situation, but if I do, it's due to someone trying to harm me, no matter the gender.

 

Violence is violence, gender of the abuser doesn't matter. He should do the same thing a female being hit by a man does... what's the difference.

 

*builds nuclear bunker*

 

Oh boy. There isn't good answer to this.
If you defend yourself and leave a mark where she hasn't left a mark on you, it can mean big problems for you.
Even if it never gets as far as the courts, a lot of damage can be done by word of mouth.
My best suggestion is to tell a close and trusted friend, if you can. Tell them what led up to it, how you reacted, what you did, and make sure you tell them if it happens again.
And if you are in danger, protect yourself. That may be by walking away, physically defending yourself, or letting yourself be hit so there is a mark to show the police. The last is not a great option but a last resort.
And, if this is ongoing, tell the police. Make sure there is a paper trail so if you have to defend yourself at some point in the future, there is a record of her attacking you.

(*hug*)

 

There are other ways to handle conflict without resorting to violence, if the female person is close to you, you can just make her feel bad through emotional manipulation until she breaks and apologizes... going off to cry also works! Ok, I might not be the best person to answer this question... :icon_redf

 

I have always hated this double standard, even though I'm not part of the people suffering from it. There seems to be this idea that if a girl hit/slaps a guy it's funny, but if a guy does it then it's seen as abuse.

But the thing is, I know male/female couple(s) who abuse each other all the time, but I've never heard the guy in this relationship speak up about it. The only time I've heard a guy speak up in a relationship was when he was self harming because his girlfriend broke up with him. But anyways I digress....

Even though I can't help but feel slightly annoyed at this stereotype, I suppose I can see where they're coming from. But abuse in relationships is never good, regardless of the situation.

 

It's such an awful situation to be in. Unfortunately, such situations can get out of control fast and sometimes it is better to just walk away and wait until the situation calms down. I agree that the double standards are frustrating but hitting back will only make the situation worse, the same can be said in the case of a woman hitting back when a man acts in an abusive manner. The key is to figure out what is going on and finding a way to calm the atmosphere before any serious harm happens to either of you.

Yes, sometimes it is better to just lock yourself in your room and release pent out anger, frustrations and the loss felt from the damage caused to your connection with that person through tears. Once you both calm down you see what can be done to mend the trust or simply leave and do your vest to disconnect from the abuser.

 

If a female hits a man, the man should either try to leave the situation or try to subdue her using (by grappling techniques) if the woman is being extremely violent. Do not strike but be defensive. Striking back will only add fuel to the fire & no one deserves to be abused.

If it's possible, maybe you can set up a camera so she'll be caught in the act.

 

He should be able to hit her back, but it's probably not a good idea because if she tells anyone no one will believe the guy and since most guys are physically stronger than most girls, the guy's more likely to leave a bruise or something so he'll almost always be blamed.