Note: This isn't one of my typical lengthy rants... keeping it short and sweet for once...vent purpose. Why? Why can't some of us have actual 'love'd ones? Why do those who are supposed to care about us most treat people like us like we're the absolute worst thing that can happen in their lives, ('potential') threats and all? It's like everyday one more new member is added or someone stoops to a new low. Being surrounded by this stuff consistently is enough to make anyone world-weary, for anyone who doesn't get why I may come across the way I probably do. To give anyone new an example, my mom and one aunt were asking the latter's bf what he'd do if he found out he had a gay son and the guy flat out says that he'd probably beat him into liking pussy. Like seriously...what the flying fuck!? I briefly called him out on it, but sometimes I wonder why I bother when others around think stuff like that is funny and such. Why?!(clearly rhetorical) It seriously just sucks away any hope I (may) have when such people show up on the daily, whether it be my own family or someone else's.
FFS! That man is an idiot. and if he would be willing to beat his own son lik that, god knows what he'd do to your aunt... A statement like that would be enough for me to kick to the kerb
Hmm:dry: some people just take stupid to a whole new level. I wonder what makes someone hate gay people that much. Honestly, what is the deal with people like that? Latent homosexuality? Religion? Seriously, what the hell?
It's be a tough match between the two honestly, but it doesn't help that, ofc, she also talks about that kinda stuff in a similarly disgusting way as well. Had a feeling you'd say so. We seem like we'd make good besties in this dept. :-l
I may not be wise and I may not have a horde of good advice but I can offer you something, that being personal experience. I know it doesn't do much but I'm hoping that it would at least help. My mom was fairly homophobic at one point. Terribly transphobic. I got to hear a ton of things said by her, saying how people shouldn't be gay, to her worrying about being spotted during my first gay pride experience... From her saying that people shouldn't get surgery to change the way they where born, to her openly watching Jazz Jennings on TV and talking about it. Everyone has a chance to change. It's hard to change a mind set, so it has to be done willingly. One thing to understand when coming out to a homophobic family is that even though it doesn't seem like it, they are trying. No one wants to see their child leave. Every parent feels some form of guilt, whether you'd like to believe it or not. They may or may not come around for a few years but there's always hope. You have to hope and believe that your family will come through for you when you're ready. Hope and believe that your family will understand their errors by talking about the kind of stuff they've been talking about. Maybe one day, they'll come around and fight through their homophobia for you.
This was such a good message to read. I come from a very homophobic family, so I've always been scared of how they would think if I came out. I came out to everyone else except them (apart from one very close cousin), because I don't want them to hate me or abandon me...but it's good to know that they can change, especially after everything I've done to try to change myself.
Ain't that the truth? I truly appreciate the words but the most these people do is semi-fake any kinda 'acceptance' that may slip off their tongue; I know them too well. Yes it pains me to say (that I'd be better off without them in my life) but I'd rather not waste my time hoping, knowing that it'll further just serve to hurt me in the end; I may as well just get a crystal ball to see my death date and note it down as an appropriate time to reveal the news to them. They can f off, honestly; they've mentally and emotionally screwed me enough. The only hope I really had of anyone in that mix was my dad(once we actually tried to bond later on) but he's gone now, so... Btw, curious, has your mom come around? If so, it's good to hear that she has softened up a bit; that's always nice to hear. I ask because you said she "was" fairly homophobic at one point".
I'll double down on this one. I came out in the early nineties to conservative Mormon parents. My mother was literally and physically ill for two weeks when I told her. They didn't know any gay people and they didn't want to, but they loved me and so they soldiered through and totally came around. They both adored my husband and actually my mother's final words were asking my husband to take care of me going forward because she wasn't sure she would be able to any more. My father said something similar the last time we saw him before he died. People come around. Love really is stronger than hate.
Then it's nice to know that the 'love' never existed to begin with. Any hope with this sorta thing died along with my dad, over 8 years ago(long before I even was aware of this...issue); funny how that works out considering that we never even bonded, hell, hardly knew each other, until a month or so before he unexpectedly...left.
