*Sings* "When Will My Life Begin* (Mini rant)

So my sister is currently having another emotional breakdown. And I obviously love her, but my family can be (Is) so dysfunctional and am so desperate to leave. Of course, being the person that I am, am biding my time and setting myself up first. I'm 18 and still haven't had a first job, don't know much about taxes, rent, etc, don't have a car. The list goes on. Clearly, I'm not leaving anytime soon (Hoping to apply for a job in a few days, looking to try and get an apartment next year)

ANYWAY, back to my life as the invisible guy.

My mom is single, split from my ex dad when I was two or three. Used to love her but now that I'm older and we're trying to keep up with money she's gone slightly insane. She's overweight, so she's already self-councous. Is obsessed with trying to sell her art and earn money, gets freaked out easily (Gets snappy and emotional) and will flip out over simple things when she's "freaking out" which I have come to just ignore.

My sister is great and my closest friend. Our bond is for life, but sometimes I want to grab her shoulders and shake her. She can be an emotional wreck and begin crying randomly, is very stubborn and will argue with my mom. Is very loud in the sense I can barely get a word in when all three of us are talking, and she overthinks a lot of things which leads her to randomly cry like I said before. And when she cries she CRIES. Like sobbing cry.

I read people like a book and being with them my entire life have them pretty much figured out. My sister wants to do things and does them, but she can't resist asking for moms approvel, for example she'll ask her opinions when she already knows the answer. She tries to be this adult but she's always been the one to cry on moms shoulder when she needs her.

My mom is scared of success and putting herself out in the world. So she stays at home doing art. Now she's a great artist, but she's so scared of stepping out that she doesn't put in any effort into promoting/advertising it, so she never sells any.

So as I'm typing this mom and my sister are talking things out. My sister changed her name back (She changed it last year but decided she didn't like it) and it turns out mom forgot so she went alone without saying anything. I guess because she was mad or whatever.

I'm just so tired of this continuous cycle of drama. Now I'm an introvert, so I'm already super passive, and being the only guy in a family of girls has pretty much made me invisible when I want to be. And whenever I DO go off, I go off. But whatever I yell or scream seems to be forgotten in the next two days.

I just want to say, this post makes them look like they're shit and they're not. They obviously have a bunch of positive things about them. I love them and they share memories with me I'll always cherish, I just need to get this off my chest.

Long story short. I want to move out but am trapped until I get my puzzle pieces all together.