whats independence to you? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

spydar · 13th Jan 2009, 01:48 PM

well the header says what this thread is about ,
make your reply any way you want ,long short funny sarchastic what ever ,

these are just examples to get you started ,but you can use any explanation of the word Independance & what it means to you.

"What is independence to you"? Can you be independant & "one of the gang" would you sacrifice your independance to be with the "in crowd" of your peers?
I hope to get a lot of interesting contributions ,if this one go`s the well , I have other open questions to put to the community here at EC .
Spydar.

marri · 13th Jan 2009, 02:30 PM

I'm not a very independant person so, I can tell you what I think about dependance...
being dependant is (shitty) being shy and needing someone around to make sure you're alright. For example, I'm scared shitless to start learning how to drive a car, because when I am driving alone I will feel completly lost.

so, being on the outside, and looking in to the independant people's party, it looks like confidence and knowing who you are and what you want.

seems very far away from me, but I will get there

BlueRose · 13th Jan 2009, 02:37 PM

I know how you feel, marri; I was/still kinda am the same way. I still don't like driving places by myself, especially if I've never been there before.

As far as independence goes, I believe that independence is the ability to decide and do things for yourself. Both the deciding and the doing are important, though the doing probably more so than the deciding.

13th Jan 2009, 02:38 PM

independant, i think, means solving all of your problems alone, and not always looking to friends for support and comfort. an independant person will cope well without their friends by their sides every minute of the day

littledinosaurs · 13th Jan 2009, 02:38 PM

I Guess independence is being able to do what you want without the approval or support of someone else. You don't hold back as much. You can still care about the people around you but if they don't wanna follow you will still push ahead.
i don't think anyone can be truly independent and have good friends.

TheRoof · 13th Jan 2009, 03:14 PM

independence, to me, means that ur self sufficient
u got a decent job to support urself(rent, food, entertainment whatever)
u can live by urself without living with parents or guardians.
can do whatever u want to do-doesnt matter what other people thinks
decide stuff by yourself without any influences from peers...stuff like that

biisme · 13th Jan 2009, 03:22 PM

Independence is a spectrum. The word implies being able to do something(s) for yourdelf: to support for yourself, to be by yourself, to succeed by yourself, cope by yourself, think for yourself and such. If someone is not independent at all, and only relies on others, they they are not truly living. That is when they are not an individual, but solely a copy or an extension of someone else. BNo one can be completely independent. Even if you are isolated from other people, and live in isolation for your whole life, you still depend on the sun, the vegetation, oxygen to survive. To speak truthfully, no one can survive completely on their own.

I guess, ideally, you want to be able to think for yourself. And, thinking for yourself doesn't mean not including others' opinions in your decision making. Being independent doesn't mean beign close-minded. It means decidin what you think is best, regardless of where you recieve your information from, as long as it is your decision.

I think in cliques and other social constraints, many people lose their independence to conform to what the mentality of the group is. And, sometimes it's best to go along. You can't fight every single thing. For example, you can't decide what the group does for every activity ever. In a group independence needs to be varied with compromise. As long as you don't change your views to solely fit in, to pretend to be someone you're not, then you're okay.

Mickey · 13th Jan 2009, 07:58 PM

Independence: Free to be ME!

13th Jan 2009, 08:04 PM

I have a strongly independent personality so I'm just going based on how I think. To me, it's being able to do mundane things for yourself (laundry, cook, clean etc). To be able to earn your own money. To be able to walk through life, and feel your worth without needing to be with someone. To have people in your life because you want them there, not because you physically need them or over rely on them.

marri · 13th Jan 2009, 10:01 PM

I like the point some of you are making about being able to make your own decisions, being decisive is pretty important to being independant.. I'm not very decisive at all :P

13th Jan 2009, 01:48 PM	#1
spydar Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Not out at all Location: London N1 Posts: 57 Join Date: Feb 2007	whats independence to you? well the header says what this thread is about , make your reply any way you want ,long short funny sarchastic what ever , these are just examples to get you started ,but you can use any explanation of the word Independance & what it means to you. "What is independence to you"? Can you be independant & "one of the gang" would you sacrifice your independance to be with the "in crowd" of your peers? I hope to get a lot of interesting contributions ,if this one go`s the well , I have other open questions to put to the community here at EC . Spydar.

13th Jan 2009, 02:30 PM	#2
marri Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Queer Out Status: not Location: Montreal :) Age: 20 Posts: 62 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: whats independence to you? I'm not a very independant person so, I can tell you what I think about dependance... being dependant is (shitty) being shy and needing someone around to make sure you're alright. For example, I'm scared shitless to start learning how to drive a car, because when I am driving alone I will feel completly lost. so, being on the outside, and looking in to the independant people's party, it looks like confidence and knowing who you are and what you want. seems very far away from me, but I will get there __________________ (:

13th Jan 2009, 02:37 PM	#3
BlueRose Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Georgia Age: 21 Posts: 197 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: whats independence to you? I know how you feel, marri; I was/still kinda am the same way. I still don't like driving places by myself, especially if I've never been there before. As far as independence goes, I believe that independence is the ability to decide and do things for yourself. Both the deciding and the doing are important, though the doing probably more so than the deciding.

13th Jan 2009, 02:38 PM	#4
Arty Guest Posts: n/a	Re: whats independence to you? independant, i think, means solving all of your problems alone, and not always looking to friends for support and comfort. an independant person will cope well without their friends by their sides every minute of the day

13th Jan 2009, 02:38 PM	#5
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: whats independence to you? I Guess independence is being able to do what you want without the approval or support of someone else. You don't hold back as much. You can still care about the people around you but if they don't wanna follow you will still push ahead. i don't think anyone can be truly independent and have good friends. __________________ Âllo Là

13th Jan 2009, 03:14 PM	#6
TheRoof True Blue Full Member Gender: genderqueer Orientation: I like who I like. Location: NY Age: 20 Posts: 1,452 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: whats independence to you? independence, to me, means that ur self sufficient u got a decent job to support urself(rent, food, entertainment whatever) u can live by urself without living with parents or guardians. can do whatever u want to do-doesnt matter what other people thinks decide stuff by yourself without any influences from peers...stuff like that __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. -Diane Arbus-

13th Jan 2009, 03:22 PM	#7
biisme Call me Katie Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Ask me and I'll tell you. Location: Lincoln, Rhode Island Age: 20 Posts: 8,119 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: whats independence to you? Independence is a spectrum. The word implies being able to do something(s) for yourdelf: to support for yourself, to be by yourself, to succeed by yourself, cope by yourself, think for yourself and such. If someone is not independent at all, and only relies on others, they they are not truly living. That is when they are not an individual, but solely a copy or an extension of someone else. BNo one can be completely independent. Even if you are isolated from other people, and live in isolation for your whole life, you still depend on the sun, the vegetation, oxygen to survive. To speak truthfully, no one can survive completely on their own. I guess, ideally, you want to be able to think for yourself. And, thinking for yourself doesn't mean not including others' opinions in your decision making. Being independent doesn't mean beign close-minded. It means decidin what you think is best, regardless of where you recieve your information from, as long as it is your decision. I think in cliques and other social constraints, many people lose their independence to conform to what the mentality of the group is. And, sometimes it's best to go along. You can't fight every single thing. For example, you can't decide what the group does for every activity ever. In a group independence needs to be varied with compromise. As long as you don't change your views to solely fit in, to pretend to be someone you're not, then you're okay. __________________ From BIG problems to little problems, from broken hearts to broken shoelaces, I really do care. Feel free to PM me anytime about anything. I want to know.

13th Jan 2009, 07:58 PM	#8
Mickey Older and bolder! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Massachusetts Age: 50 Posts: 1,775 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: whats independence to you? Independence: Free to be ME! __________________ We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!

13th Jan 2009, 08:04 PM	#9
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: whats independence to you? I have a strongly independent personality so I'm just going based on how I think. To me, it's being able to do mundane things for yourself (laundry, cook, clean etc). To be able to earn your own money. To be able to walk through life, and feel your worth without needing to be with someone. To have people in your life because you want them there, not because you physically need them or over rely on them.

13th Jan 2009, 10:01 PM	#10
marri Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Queer Out Status: not Location: Montreal :) Age: 20 Posts: 62 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: whats independence to you? I like the point some of you are making about being able to make your own decisions, being decisive is pretty important to being independant.. I'm not very decisive at all :P __________________ (: