What Kind of Genie Would You Be?

A genie that gives wishes to help people and make their lives better. I will have a halo and wings and em... :eusa_ange

 

I'd be a mischievous trickster; you'd get your wish, but there would always be unforeseen consequences that would make you embarrassed, or have you running for your life---whether being covered in leeches in some Florida bog, (almost) drowning in swimming pools of lime Jello, dating the Keebler Elves in some twisted polygamous affair, or suddenly appearing nude aside The Pope as he addresses millions live, or being tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail---you'd always need me to save you.

And of course, I would, but always just in time, only to let you once again foolishly make another wish, which would again go wrong.

I'd be both your curse, and your salvation, and I'd have a fun time doing it. Eventually, you might even start to find it funny, yourself, though this could take a while.

Oh, and I'd also demand that my bottle be impeccably decorated...only the best pillows and fabrics from the top genie-bottle interior designers! Or else...

 

I would most likely be a very literal genie, just because it would be pretty funny to grant people's wishes exacly as they say them rather than how they imagined it to be.

 

this

 

One of these bad boys.

 

A Beetlejuice type one. I know he isn't technically a genie but he has similar aspects; magical powers, has to be summoned to grant requests, is frequently miniaturized etc. I want to have fun with it and be a nuisance in pinstripes, plus there's no way I'm living in a bottle or lamp when I could have a whole model village to myself.

In terms of how I'd grant wishes, it depends on who's asking. If I get summoned by some brilliant person who asks nicely I'll endeavour to grant their wishes with minimal hassle for them. But if the wisher is horrible and rubs me the wrong way I'm going to mess things up royally. This shouldn't be hard to do because unamiable people tend to ask for idiotic things, usually without thinking it through. Like if a guy says he wants to be well-endowed, he probably won't be expecting something the size of bus so that the fire brigade have to come and cut a hole in his wall to get him out of the house with a crane whilst all the neighbours are watching, and he hears a teenager from across the road get his phone out saying: "This is going on Youtube!".




Edit: Actually thinking about it, did the Djinn from Wishmaster do something like that? Or am I thinking of a different film? It rings a bell. I'm sure I read about something to do with a bigger penis wish gone wrong but haven't seen the scene if there was one. You will probably know the answer to that Kaiser because I know you've seen them all.

 

I'd be like Bartimaeus from the bartimaeus series of books. He's kinda reminiscent of alucard from hellsing in a way... It's a good series of books as well.

 

That really awkward one who tries to find a flaw in every wish. xD

 

One who grants wishes technically (wish for holding breath forever, I let them hold their lung; wish to see all, see what no one wants to see; wish to not age, I give them a guilotene and tell them just stick their head in the holw and cut the string).

 

Evil genie who grants misfortune and misery.

 

I would be an mysterious genie, living in a cave rather than in a lamp, therefore my power is unmatched as a genie. I would grant one wish rather than three, but if unleashed upon the world all I have to do is snap my fingers and the world dies.

 

I would be one who makes you come back-your wish will have some unseen circumstances that are impossible for a human to get through themselves, and make them come back to me to make a new wish, and the cycle continues. The wisher will probably hate me, lol. But if they want me to grant a wish they need to give me something of equivalent value first...

 

One who chooses who to grant wishes for.

 

Also: The type that turns Kaiser into a poodle, dyed pink, with a sparkly simulated diamond collar!

(Kidding. Just checking to see if she's paying attention)

 

Genie always ready to help..........

 

Why does this make me think of Christina Aguilera?

 

Definitely the type that twists wishes into retributive punishments with wordplay.

 

I don't wanna be a genie.
So here is my wish: I want to have Kaiser all to myself, body and soul <3 <3
Now all the genies above, start twisting my wish. The most interesting and witty consequences win, as usual.
*flips the freaking table*