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Transgender high schoolers - I need your help!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JR08, Oct 27, 2015.

  1. JR08

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    Ok, quick back story. I am a soon to be new teacher, I am currently doing my student teaching and one of my classes I have a student who is experiencing gender disphoria and has been really struggling in school/classes. We had student teacher conferences last week and I talked with the students parents and they were vehemently against the student dressing or presenting as female, and my cooperating teacher was against the idea as well (she isn't the most open minded person). Now I tried to voice my opinion and have been trying to educate my cooperating teacher, but I also cannot overstep my bounds professionally, at the same time the student is failing all of their classes and is showing significant signs of depression. I am very worried about the student and at this point I don't really know what else I can do. They refuse to talk to any of the school counselors, and I want to do whatever I can to help the student but at the same time I don't want to single them out or embarrass them any further by forcing the issue.

    My question, for those of you who have gone through this, what would you want your teachers to know about being transgender, or what steps can I take to create a more accepting environment for you? What steps could I take to show you that I am a person that you could come talk to without singling you out and making things worse? Unfortunately I only have five weeks left at the school before my student teaching is over, but I feel that I have to do something to help this student...
     
  2. PerfectlyNormal

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    Treat them like anyone else their gender.
     
  3. DinelodiiGitli

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    I'd want to be treated as my gender, the one I identified as like using the right pronouns. Don't make a major deal out of it, just treat them like anyone else.
     
  4. Yosia

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    They need to know that you acknowledge them as their desired gender, not as 'that transgender kid', that is one of the most important things I believe.

    As a school, the kid should really be being supported by all of their teachers and other staff. Have you spoke to the headteacher/principal about this? Maybe they can then have a word with all the staff involved. Also, what are your states policies on Transgender students? If your school is denying this kid their rights, then the professional thing to do would be to alert the authorities.

    It is good that you care about this student, I believe caring is one of the most important things in teaching.

    As someone who has been discriminated against for being an LGBT+ student, I ask you to do the right thing, and do what you believe would work best and benefit the student. After all, it's what teachers are there for. <3
     
  5. RainbowGreen

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    Like they said, treat them as what they identify as. Use their name/pronouns and try not to make a big deal out of it. This is all I asked for in Highschool, but they were pretty stuck up about it.
     
  6. armydude

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    Listen bro, I have no idea about this stuff besides what I've read on this website. So unfortunately I'm probably even less informed than you are!

    Just posting to give you some credit for what you're doing. There are so many teachers out there today who are falling short... both as educators and mentors/allies for their students. You are not one of them.

    The fact that you care this much about the situation is proof of your compassion and proof that you chose the right career field. Chances are your student will realize this as well, and simply knowing that somebody else gives a shit could make a big difference in student's life.

    Good for you man, keep up the good work.
     
  7. Kasey

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    This.

    I am a teacher myself. All we want to be is recognized for who we are. If they are opening up to you respect their gender identity. I have a trans male in my school and I call him by his chosen name and pronouns. He has no idea why he likes me so much, but, I know what it's like to be in his shoes.

    Next year with tenure I'm coming out.

    Trust me... You will be seeing a LOT of trans students soon in the next few years.
     
  8. Tai

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    Call them by their preferred pronouns as everyone else said, and just do little things to let the student know you're on their side. Defense against her parents, the other teacher, and any other opposing parties would help. And normally, I'd say not to make a big deal about it, but if this student is looking suicidal, maybe you could pull them aside when no one's around and just give them a short talk about how you support them and are willing to help if possible, and if the student wants.
     
  9. JR08

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    This is definitely what I am doing, I wasn't the most clear in my original post but I am looking for additional ways to help her. Unfortunately the school district I am student teaching in is a inner city district in a very poor area that the administration spends their entire day dealing with misbehavior and extra resources for students in the form of clubs is pretty non-existent. I guess the biggest issue I see is that she is not supported at home or by the majority of her teachers, they refuse to acknowledge her and I see her struggling and failing all of her classes and I don't think she has anyone to talk to about this. For those of you that have experienced being transgender in a high school, would it have completely mortified you for a teacher to have pulled you aside after class and given you resources to this website, or HRC or any of the other online resources? I want to help but I also don't want to alienate her.

    I also struggle with not wanting to overstep my professional boundaries since the cooperating teacher isn't the most open minded person, and the parents are not at all I worry about the parents coming back after me for providing their child with these resources...
     
  10. Eveline

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    JR08, you are lovely and thank you so much for caring about her. (*hug*)

    It's a tough situation to be in, the most important thing is to be accepted fully by the girls of the class... Relief from gender dysphoria for transgirls happens through feminine gender expression. In school that ideally happens through interaction with other girls and going out together. You most likely have a fairly limited ability to influence such matters but if you do have an opportunity to sit her by a girl that you know is sweet and accepting it might help her cope better. Having friends who are girls will also give her an alternative method to move forward with transitioning and starting to present as a girl: Sharing clothes and makeup... etc.

    One method that you can use is to give the class group projects that they need to present themselves and pair them up yourself. Add her to a group of two girls that you know are kind and caring and also good students. They might be able to help her both academically and will hopefully befriend her and also help her socially...

    Anyway, as people said here, gendering her correctly and using her chosen name can help her a lot... just by doing that you are hopefully relieving some dysphoria and creating in her a feeling of euphoria.

    (&&&)
     
    #10 Eveline, Oct 27, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 27, 2015