First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

agraves · 14th Jan 2009, 06:24 PM

Wow. That's all I can really say. About 4 days ago my girlfriend came to Virginia to visit me. She lives in New Jersey. We have been dating for all of 9 days. Anyway, she got a hotel room and we went there to visit for a while and have some dinner. After dinner she took a shower while I watched tv. When she came out I was laying on the bed. She came over to me, got on top of me and started to kiss me. After we had been doing that for awhile she slowly put her hand up my shirt. Eventually she went down on me and it was amazing. I had never felt so wonderful or had so many orgasms in one session. It was like nothing before.

So, my problem is that I feel inadequate. I have never had a gay relationship and she is aware of it. She tries to reassure me that I will perform just fine and she has no expectations of me, but I am a perfectionist and can't stand to do anything less than perfect. She has told me what she likes and doesn't like, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to do something wrong anyway. Everyone feels this way, right? How do I get past this feeling? Just go and do it I suppose.

thebikelady · 14th Jan 2009, 06:33 PM

Probably the best thing to do is just to trust her and listen to what she says. Practice makes perfect right?

Mickey · 14th Jan 2009, 06:39 PM

It's perfectly okay to be a little nervous. Your g/f sounds like she'd be willing to help.
Just remember,the more you worry about it,the less relaxed you'll be. I'm sure you'll do fine!

xballetxbeautyx · 14th Jan 2009, 06:39 PM

Congrats!

And don't worry. If she's as awesome as you say then she'll help you and tell you what you're doing right. And just like thebikelady said, practice makes perfect! You'll do great!

mnmpython · 14th Jan 2009, 06:43 PM

Definately jsut go do it. I felt the same way my first time. I had a girl laying in my bed and I was sop nervous that I went to take a hot shower, and I thought, "OMG you idiot! You have a hot girl laying in your bed and you are taking a fn shower?!" So I go in there not knowing what I'm gonna do, and BAM! Everything was fine and she loved it, adn I felt kinda silly for being so nervous. It's just a girl and we know how to drive them crazy and throw them over the edge more than anyone = )

loving the pink · 14th Jan 2009, 06:53 PM

Just relax and take your time. You know what feels good for you, and you can pretty much guarantee it will work for her. Dont be afraid to ask, she'll appreciate your making such an effort to please her. Woo!!!!

TheRoof · 15th Jan 2009, 07:05 PM

you should take time-like its ur first time, and everybody feels that way when its ur first relationship!

14th Jan 2009, 06:24 PM	#1
agraves Amber Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 28 Posts: 246 Join Date: Jun 2008	First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... Wow. That's all I can really say. About 4 days ago my girlfriend came to Virginia to visit me. She lives in New Jersey. We have been dating for all of 9 days. Anyway, she got a hotel room and we went there to visit for a while and have some dinner. After dinner she took a shower while I watched tv. When she came out I was laying on the bed. She came over to me, got on top of me and started to kiss me. After we had been doing that for awhile she slowly put her hand up my shirt. Eventually she went down on me and it was amazing. I had never felt so wonderful or had so many orgasms in one session. It was like nothing before. So, my problem is that I feel inadequate. I have never had a gay relationship and she is aware of it. She tries to reassure me that I will perform just fine and she has no expectations of me, but I am a perfectionist and can't stand to do anything less than perfect. She has told me what she likes and doesn't like, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to do something wrong anyway. Everyone feels this way, right? How do I get past this feeling? Just go and do it I suppose. __________________ I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.

14th Jan 2009, 06:33 PM	#2
thebikelady EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: 9? Age: 28 Posts: 485 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... Probably the best thing to do is just to trust her and listen to what she says. Practice makes perfect right?

14th Jan 2009, 06:39 PM	#3
Mickey Older and bolder! Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Massachusetts Age: 50 Posts: 1,775 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... It's perfectly okay to be a little nervous. Your g/f sounds like she'd be willing to help. Just remember,the more you worry about it,the less relaxed you'll be. I'm sure you'll do fine! __________________ We don't choose to be gay...we're CHOSEN!

14th Jan 2009, 06:39 PM	#4
xballetxbeautyx Heterodox Homosexual Full Member Gender: (.)(.) Orientation: Kinsey 5? Ish? Out Status: If you don't know, where have you been all my life Location: Midwest USA Age: 17 Posts: 1,719 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... Congrats! And don't worry. If she's as awesome as you say then she'll help you and tell you what you're doing right. And just like thebikelady said, practice makes perfect! You'll do great! __________________ I can't go to Pigfarts! IT'S ON MARS. You need a rocketship! Do you have a rocketship, Potter? Look at this - it's Rocketship Potter! Starkid Potter! Moonshoes Potter! Traversing the galaxy for intergalactic travels to Pigfarts!

14th Jan 2009, 06:43 PM	#5
mnmpython Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 26 Posts: 20 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... Definately jsut go do it. I felt the same way my first time. I had a girl laying in my bed and I was sop nervous that I went to take a hot shower, and I thought, "OMG you idiot! You have a hot girl laying in your bed and you are taking a fn shower?!" So I go in there not knowing what I'm gonna do, and BAM! Everything was fine and she loved it, adn I felt kinda silly for being so nervous. It's just a girl and we know how to drive them crazy and throw them over the edge more than anyone = )

14th Jan 2009, 06:53 PM	#6
loving the pink Just me Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian / Gay ..take your pick Out Status: Not to family or work Location: Swansea Age: 29 Posts: 44 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... Just relax and take your time. You know what feels good for you, and you can pretty much guarantee it will work for her. Dont be afraid to ask, she'll appreciate your making such an effort to please her. Woo!!!!

15th Jan 2009, 07:05 PM	#7
TheRoof True Blue Full Member Gender: genderqueer Orientation: I like who I like. Location: NY Age: 20 Posts: 1,452 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: First lesbian sexual experience and feelings of inadequacy... you should take time-like its ur first time, and everybody feels that way when its ur first relationship! __________________ Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. -Diane Arbus-

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