Okay, this has become quite an issue for me recently. I'm now out to 9 people. Good for me, right? I'm making progress! NO. I've come out to 4 people myself. My best friend has outed me now to 3 people. 2 friends have outed me to their significant others. The only person who hasn't said anything is my mom, and I remember her saying that she may have to talk to my grandma about it. That was a while ago but still, NO. Why can't people get the idea through their F***ING heads that my business is my own goddamn business? Just because I've shared something with you, that doesn't make it your business to share that with others. One of the friends who told their boyfriend today said to me "When I was coming out as bi, I didn't want anyone going around telling people about my sexuality. You're safe with me." OBVIOUSLY NOT. You had the goddamn nerve to out me to someone, when you've even been through the same? When I specifically told you not to talk to others about it. This same situation happened with a straight girl friend of mine. She told her significant other about it. Now, I happen to be friends with these people, but that doesn't make any of this okay. I came out to my best friend as bi before I later told him that I'm gay. He told his girlfriend (now ex) I was bi (Can we also talk about the fact that she wanted to hook me up with another gay boy she knew? No thanks. I have standards and hookups are weird. Why do people do that?) He knew I hadn't told anyone else and knew I didn't like her, yet he proceeded to tell her, anyway. I've more recently come out to him as gay and he's now told his mom, who will tell his dad. These three are all extended family to me but what the actual f***? It's not his goddamn place to tell people. It's nobody's place to tell anyone. I'm extremely pissed. I can't stand people. These people are making me regret coming out, and I can't go back. Personal business is no one's business but their own. One of these friends also knows about my gender identity and I'm worried she'll out me to someone else. Keeping a secret means KEEPING A FUCKING SECRET. That doesn't mean hint to someone something about somebody else and do the whole "Oh, I didn't actually say it," thing either. Have some god damn respect. I'm done coming out to people. I regret this. People aren't trustworthy at all. I don't have an issue keeping any secrets or keeping my nose out of people's business, so why does everyone I meet do?
I was outed a while back too, but at that point I'd pretty much left school so it didn't really matter. I've also had times where I've told someone and had people who were eves-dropping on our conversations out me to others. That was pretty harsh, I lost a few friends at the time and their respect but I guess they were never really my true friends anyway. It can be hard when you feel or are no longer in control of who knows, in fact sometimes it can be terrifying and make you feel uneasy. I guess I was lucky because the second time people found out about me there was less of a reaction (compared to the first time, where I nearly got into a fight and had my "friends" spit at me). :dry: Sorry, I know this isn't helping. :icon_redf I know it can be tough, and sometimes have dire consequences depending upon the situation. I hope you're doing ok though. (*hug*) Sorry again for not being very helpful here.
None of my friends have ever outed me. My dad told my aunt and uncle's family that I like girls. Really wish he wouldn't have, my aunt hasn't been quite the same around me since. My mom told my gender to my other aunt and her own boyfriend. Both were very positive and want to help me, but I wish she would've checked with me beforehand...
I haven't been outed by anyone but I worry that if I tell my younger brother about my orientation he'd eventually do something very, very stupid and out me by saying something without really thinking about it.
Yeah... the day I came out to my mother, she outed me to one of my brothers and later on my father. The brother outed me to my other brother and my sister in law. None of them really accept me or support me... I guess everything is relative... :icon_sad:
When I was around 17 my best friend outed me to one of my other guy friends. I'd never have known except I was chatting with that particular guy friend and we were talking about a male celebrity and I stated how I wouldn't find him attractive. Immediately after he said, 'Don't worry you're a lesbian, <name> told me.' I was none too pleased as you can imagine. In fact I was so annoyed that as soon as I got home I sent a message to who I thought was my other friend stating how angry I was asking what gave them the right to tell <guy friend's name> without my permission especially when I'd confided in them, when actually it turned out that because I was so angry I'd sent it to the very person who told me. Although it was a very long time ago and I've long since moved on from then, and although my best friend admitted his mistake, was very apologetic and was very sincere about it being a pure accident, it has taught me to be very careful about who I speak to about my sexuality.
I haven't really been outed as far as I know. My grandma is a talkative person, so she might have told someone. I am afraid of my sisters telling my dad before I'm ready to, though. Since it's been months since I've seen him and they see him weekly, the could have already outed me.
I'm kind of in the same position. I really don't know what you can do about it. I would just say don't trust your friends with any more secrets. I know I certainly won't.
Oh man! I'm really sorry that happened to you Some people just stick their noses what they don't belong, and can't seem to understand boundaries. I've yet to be outed to anyone considering I've told few people, but my friends are all very proud of who they are as a person, and tend to forget I'd like them to be a little quiet about my orientation. I have the most friends outside of the "queer kid group." (Which we lovingly dubbed ourselves) and I know a few of them wouldn't be okay with my orientation. I know I shouldn't be friends with them if that's the case, but I feel like after a while as they grow up they'll respect it more. Considering majority of Parents in this town are Chirstian's, and super conservative it's only likely quite of few the kids will be the same. I have one friend who didn't even know LGBTQ+ people existed!
