For start, I need to say I have a huge crush with a boy, and I've found out weeks ago that he's interested in me too, but he's closeted,very. Unlike me(anyway no one know this because I'm new in town). I did found out via text, the only way we can talk about it. He's always so shy and fearful but happy when we're alone, weird huh? and I just can't grab him and start making out, I feel he's like in denial with his feelings. Out in the world he's quite homophobic, and trying to be as masc as possible, but when we're together he's so different, like he feels that he can be himself. I don't know what to do, I don't know what he's waiting, what I do know is that I need a way to approach him, I've never knew someone like him, I mean I've had closeted friends but this is like another lever. Advice? :help:
Well... shit. There goes my first suggestion. My second suggestion: When you're in private, talk about it. Bring the situation up. Try to make him not so fearful of the outside.
Support him, spend time with him, try and find out why he is so scared of revealing himself, and help him fight them, if you can.
Aww, this is so sweet but also kind of really sucks. I think that inamirrordarkly's suggestion was pretty good. There's really no way to force him to come out, he'll just have to get to a point where he starts to feel more comfortable with you and even then you don't know what the chances are that he may stay in the closet and reject his attractions. I hope that's not the case though. Just be your sweet, adorable self I'm sure if I was closeted and there was a patient, sweet adorable girl who was interested in me that would be enough to bring me out^^
Give it time. You don't have to worry about losing him if he's that far in the closet... you're his only option right now so just wait it out, sounds like he's already fallen for you.
"All according to plan, soon...you will be all mine, my pretty" I can't help reading that comment in an evil tone.
Dammit... I forgot to mention the part about the poison apple. Poison apple is key here. But I think you already get the point.
Thank you all. Yes I've been very supportive and all but he's always so defensive, he doesn't like to talk about it and I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable around me. But I still want some certainty. I know he's 19 and I'm 23, probably quite immature and all, but I have reasons for saying this may never happen, since he came from an all-boy school, he was in some sort of group that bullied gay students, nasty huh. And aaalso his dad is quite homophobic himself, and he absolutely loves him. You all may think how can I love such a douchey guy. And I don't know myself, can't help it :/
You like who you like. But be aware that people have to decide when they are ready to come out. Trying to push them out of the closet quickly will backfire. I realize that it is hard to worry about outing someone, but you will honor his wishes if you value the relationship. I was homophobic to cover my same sex attractions for quite awhile. It's done out of overcompensating and fear really.
I agree with this ^^^ and I'd like to add that I hope you're ready to do the work because this situation is going to be mad hard. No pun intended lol
