Online dating for dummies.

[starfish]

I am ready to start dating. I have been going out and making new friends, but I have not found the type of guys I want to date yet. So I am going to take a shot at online dating.

My biggest question is how to handle the how to describe your self section. I really have no idea what to put in there. I figure that I should mention I am new to the area. Should I mention that I just came out? How do I handle what I do for fun? I am a pretty boring guy and I like it that way. My idea of a fun evening is dinner with a friend and maybe a movie. For fun I go for a drive in the country, surf the web or just tinker with something. I used to watch TV, but I've quit in the past couple of months. Guess the question is how to word it without sounding like some kind of loser nerd. I want to come off sounding like a winner nerd.

[joss22]

You know what, I don't have any experience in that field, but all I can say is that for the 'about me' section, just be honest, if your idea of a good time is going to a movie, put that down, don't give false expectations. I mean, what do you have to lose by being honest? If you put down that you just came out then whoever happens to stumble upon your profile will understand, they probably have gone through the same thing. You are only as boring as you think you are, so don't think you are boring, and reflect that thought process in your profile.

Originally Posted by starfish

I am ready to start dating. I have been going out and making new friends, but I have not found the type of guys I want to date yet. So I am going to take a shot at online dating.

My biggest question is how to handle the how to describe your self section. I really have no idea what to put in there. I figure that I should mention I am new to the area. Should I mention that I just came out? How do I handle what I do for fun? I am a pretty boring guy and I like it that way. My idea of a fun evening is dinner with a friend and maybe a movie. For fun I go for a drive in the country, surf the web or just tinker with something. I used to watch TV, but I've quit in the past couple of months. Guess the question is how to word it without sounding like some kind of loser nerd. I want to come off sounding like a winner nerd.

Word it like you did in this post! If i was reading your profile, saying it like that is the only thing that would get me interested. Scripted sucks when it comes to things like this!


Not sure what sites to use (your not ment to put external links on here anyway), i was on one, which now, is moreso a hook up site. It used to be about meeting people, but it went to shit!


Keep in mind online dating isn't for everyone. If it doesn't work for you, you'll have to go back to the old way and actually meet people in person to see if you click!

[EM68]

I have a profile on a dating site. That is where I met the guy I'm dating. Just be yourself. I would mention that you are new to the area.But I would not mention that you have just come out. That will all work itself out. Also put a couple of photos of yourself. If you don't most people will ignore your profile. Good luck. If you have any questions PM me.

[starfish]

Well I just took a shot and submitted a profile. I'm sure I'll check it in the morning and find a glaring typo...

Now I just need to find someone to take my picture. Ugh!, I hate having my picture taken.

[Ionless]

Good luck, I guess. No experience, hopes it works out

[Paul_UK]

I agree with the other posters - put something honest and genuine in your description. Scripted cliché stuff is so obvious and doesn't work. If it sounds genuine and human it will interest people almost no matter what it says.

Ohh, and you do need a photo, preferably more than one. I never look at profiles without photos on the dating sites I use. Make sure it's recent and doesn't look too bad. Something that is not posed is generally better as it looks more natural.

Try to be flexible in what you are looking for in your criteria. So don't make the age-range too restrictive. A lot of gay guys smoke so excluding smokers will drastically cut the number of matches you get. You can tweak your options over time based on the matches and responses you get though.

You will most likely get quite a few people older than the age-range you say you are looking for, or otherwise not what you want, contacting you. It's annoying but a fact of life on these sites. It's polite to send a standard declining reply but if you aren't paying and have limited messages then just delete them.

Finally choose the sites that are right for what you want. If you're looking for a relationship then don't bother with hook-up sites (even if they have "looking for relationship" as an option) as you'll be disappointed and frustrated.

I've been a member of a few dating sites for a couple of months and not actually met anyone yet so maybe my advise isn't that good!

On the photo thing, there is the slight chance you may still get responses.

I didn't have any pics up (because i'm not out) and my text basically just said i like cars and dance music (was 2 lines max).

My bf said he never usually replies to people without pics, but the rest is history....

[Paul_UK]

Please don't name specific dating websites as they are mostly 18+. I have edited a couple of posts here.

Any hit yet starfish?

2 days, your inbox should be full......

[ausgrl]

think about the personal attributes your friends like about you,
get a small group of close friend each of you write your name on a piece of papper
each take time to write about why you enjoy being friends
Pass paper till it gets back to you.
Also think of the things that you value about yourself.
good luck

[Trystan]

um zero experience here... but

over the last week I've practically hooked up with a guy on here... we live miles apart, but have talked loads. We both just spent hours telling each other about ourselves... it was fun and I guess doing the same could take you quite a way into a relationship before you decide how serious to get

Originally Posted by EM68

I have a profile on a dating site. That is where I met the guy I'm dating. Just be yourself. I would mention that you are new to the area.But I would not mention that you have just come out. That will all work itself out. Also put a couple of photos of yourself. If you don't most people will ignore your profile. Good luck. If you have any questions PM me.

Agree here this is how I met my bf...I can help if you want.

[starfish]

Originally Posted by SAGUY84

Any hit yet starfish?

2 days, your inbox should be full......

To me honest I have not checked the site in the past couple of days. Nor have I posted my picture yet. The past couple of days have been very busy.

I ended up going to a gay club with some friends last night. Somehow I found the courage to approach a guy and we talked for quite a while. After talking for a couple of hours I asked him for his number and he gave it to me. We did have several common interests which is why we talked so long, but I don't see any long term potential as we are looking for completely different things. So next move is up to me and I am not sure what I want to do....

Completely unrelated to the above guy. On the way out I ended up giving a hug to one of the strippers while he was only in his underwear. He said in my ear this is your chance to touch me you won't get another another. So I reached down and grabbed it. First time I ever touched another man's penis, and it felt so right...

So another big night for me.

So back to the topic at hand. I plan to post my picture this weekend, make a couple of tweaks and message a few guys.

LOL thats an awesome story!

[EM68]

That's funny! I have yet to go to a gay bar. I may have to go.

[techie01]

Wow, I went to a gay bar once and was standing on the second story and was watching the strippers. Apparently in this town this place is for 18-20 year olds, so it wasn't for me they said :\ Still it was fun, I had some courage to look lol Still good luck on the online dating profile. I was thinking about setting one up but like some people on these boards I am not completely out good luck