I find it very hard to forget my first love sometimes, no matter what life throws at me. Sometimes it's easy to forget the bad things when there were so many other good memories and unhealthy, unanswered questions of "what if's". Breaking up with my boyfriend wasn't influenced by my sexuality, but rather other problems that we had. But even though I've been able to move on with my life now, and do things that I wouldn't have been able to do and experience things that I wouldn't have been able to that are important to me, there is still a sting that cuts deep when I think of him. But I know that he did too much wrong. It's just sad. Even now, I can only really think of my future with a girl and I still miss him. Has anyone forgotten their first love? Does that sort of feeling go away?
It's hard to forget a first love, especially since it's your first experience in taking the next steps through life. It's even harder seeing them every now and then, wishing that things where the way they used to be, to continue on in a perfect relationship with them and in the end, allowing all the bad emotions to puzzle you with the "What if's" and "Was I the reason we ended things"...they cycle goes on and on. BUT. Like old friends, the feelings and memories go away when you let them go away. It may not feel like it, but you're still holding onto them. Maybe not in a way where you still love him and maybe not in a way where you still want to be friends. It will go away eventually and things will get better. You just have to let yourself move on completely.
First loves hurt. It took me 6 years to forget mine-I just got over him recently. But as CyanChachki said, you've got to try to move on before you'll 'forget' them. For me, I did have this sudden bout of thinking about him, the start of this year-the last year I spent thinking of him accidentally. First loves hurt the most when you thought there would be something more, and you've pinned plenty of hopes on them, only for them to fail in the end. It takes time to forget, and you may keep thinking about them for a very long time-questions and doubts. Maybe if I did something differently, it wouldn't be like this. However, do remember that most first loves are not always the last. It's very rare, and many don't experience that. In the end, your first love is something you can learn from-some sort of a lesson, and though it may haunt you for a very long time, you'll eventually get over for the reason that if you don't, not only will you be stuck in the past, you'll be missing out so many things that may happen to you if you were over your first love. Because once the dirt's out of your eyes, you can see the world so much clearer.
No. The person was linked in a very special way to unforgettable times in my life. Well, there is certainly a lot of personal work to do if the memories are still hurting. There must have been reasons why the relationship didn't work. To understand those reasons is the key to get over stuff. As I have said it is a lot of personal work. Something that seems to hurt us is also rewarding us at the same time, taking us back to 'happy days', but on the long run it will kill our chances to move forward. To 'forget' a first love... There is this movie called 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind', it'll give you an interesting answer for your question.
Even though he was technically not my boyfriend, there is no way that I can forget him. We quite literally were best friends from 4th-12th grade and were sexually active from 6th-12th grades. We did almost everything(except kiss and cuddle, long story) together that one could do sexually with another person and plenty more as far as sports etc. He will always hold some part of my heart. I realize that sounds unhealthy, but it is true. I was 19 when we stopped doing things sexually, but I am 32 now. I remember so many details of what we did, even if I don't remember them all at once. All this, and I can honestly say that I was limited romantically in how I felt towards him or maybe more so how I displayed it. Most of the problem was because I was so repressed about my feelings for another guy because I was physically still attracted to women. I knew no such thing as a bi man, so I thought it was a phase. I grew up in a culture of shame where any type of talk regarding sex(much less actual activity) was rarely discussed and discouraged. I'm rambling, but I was monogamous and still am. We were friends with benefits more due to our own self-loathing than having lack of commitment, yet I don't regret anything. But I would be lying, looking back, if I said I didn't hold some sort of emotional attachment even though it was in the depths of my soul. Our story was pretty successful despite the painful way our physical relationship ended when we parted ways. If he came knocking on my door tomorrow looking for a relationship, I'd be hard-pressed. Now, the ex that I broke up with back in May/June and only held a 3 month relationship with...I am over him romantically and physically. I suppose though all and all that I have a hard time of letting go of people I truly care about. If any of you get into a long term relationship, you will understand what I am saying more clearly.
biguy8, thank you for sharing your story. It was really sad to read, but I can understand and relate to a few of the feelings that you mentioned. I never thought that having feelings for the same gender when growing up too could be valid because of the expectation that you date and have feelings for people of the opposite. I'd had feelings for my best friend too, but always felt in a state of confliction. And yeah, me and my ex's relationship was long term. We'd made plans for a whole future together, were engaged, un-engaged, bought a house. It's hard to make such a huge adjustment when that one person makes your whole future change. I can look forward to the future now, but there was a long time when I couldn't. I'd be hard pressed if he wanted a relationship again though, too. In fact he did ask me quite a while after we broke up. It was very hard not to walk into our old house and be together again. Like Michael mentioned, there are reasons why the relationship didn't work, and he wasn't the same person as before and his anger and other issues (like putting so much importance on money and hardly anything else) were getting in the way. Thanks Michael, I'll check out that movie. I've heard good things about it, but never checked it out
I forgot to complete one thought. I get that way when my mind is going in a million different directions. I meant to say "If he came knocking on my door tomorrow looking for a relationship, I'd be hard pressed to say no." ---------- Post added 22nd Nov 2015 at 09:46 PM ---------- The thing that hurt was that I went to touch him one day when I was 19 and he said, "No." I was over his house to spend the night, and he invited his sophomore friend over. He had two bedrooms. And even though we had both just graduated from high school, he went and fooled around with his sophomore friend while I was next door in the other room. I could hear them giggling.
