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Monogomy vs being polyamory

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wannahavechange, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. wannahavechange

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    Hello!!! My beautiful rainbow children, how are you amazing messes today. Quick q?
    How do you guys feel about the topic of monogamy and polygamy/polyamory? I've only heard of the term just yesterday and it interested me. I wonder how you make a three way relationship work. Personally I'm monogamous, but I just wanted to get your opions or not(!)(!)(!)
     
  2. RainDreamer

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    Hmm...I am ok with an open relationship, as long as I know that I can trust my partners. If I know about their relationships, and they know about mine, and we can all agree on what we are doing is fine, I don't see why not. Although usually someone will eventually find it to be "not fine" along the way, because people change, and bad things happen.

    Monogamy avoid this headache.
     
  3. imnotreallysure

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    Yeah it's great
     
  4. Alder

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    Personally I'm monogamous too, but I have nothing against open relationships as long as- and this really applies to any relationship- if the people involved are okay with it, make it work, and it's overall a healthy, consensual, and mutual (or in this case, mutual between more than two people) one. Don't have too many thoughts other than this on it- haven't thought about it too much honestly.
     
  5. hapa

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    This.
     
  6. Invidia

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    I have on occasion entertained the idea of a polyamarous relationship. I think it sounds interesting and I'd like to try. ^.^
     
  7. justin88

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    This!
     
  8. Just1Dude

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    Yup! :icon_bigg
     
  9. Skaros

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    I don't think I would ever be polygamous. I mean, if you're into that then go for it. If all partners are okay with it and know how to make it work, then it's their own business. :slight_smile:
     
  10. WhereWeWere

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    Polygamy is not for me, to say the least.
     
  11. XenaxGabby

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    What people do behind closed doors is their own business. Personally I could never ever ever be in an open relationship. Ever.
     
  12. Rainbows~Exist

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    Polygamy sounds like my kinda thaaannnggg
     
  13. Lyana

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    I don't view one as superior to the other. They're just different.

    I've only ever been in monogamous relationships, but I've done a bit of thinking about poly and open relationships (links to my EC blog).

    A while back, before my current SO and I were anything but friends, they told me they were polyamorous. That's not the word they used; they just said they could be in love with more than one person at a time. They've only been in faithful, monogamous relationships, but they had feelings for more than one person at a time. I'd heard about poly before and saw nothing wrong with it. I still don't.

    Personally, I could probably hook up with someone while in a relationship (with my SO's knowledge and consent, of course), but doubt I could have more than one SO at a time, because I like my alone time. It's hard enough juggling my schedule with my SO's without adding someone else to the mix. However, I'm not a very jealous person, and I'm secure in my relationship. I know my SO cares for me very much, and if they "caught" feelings for someone else (or several someone else's), I wouldn't want to stop them from exploring that.

    In practice, it's much more complicated, because that other person probably wouldn't be okay with the arrangement, etc, etc.

    I do think, on paper, between people who can handle their jealousy and who communicate very well, poly sounds nice. But it is definitely not for everyone, and that's okay.
     
  14. Systems

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    I also see them as just different, without one being better than the other. It's a matter of personal preference which one someone goes for, or whether someone goes for any relationship at all.

    Also, there are many, many kinds of polyamorous arrangements. I personally would prefer any relationship I might be in to be polyamorous without a hierarchy of who is "primary" and who is "secondary". I see hierarchical poly arrangements as objectifying, dehumanizing, and likely unfair to whoever is designated as "secondary".

    That isn't to say a polyamorous arrangement with hierarchy can't be satisfactory for everyone participating in one, but I find it highly suspect when one or more people in the relationship are consciously given less of a voice and less importance in the relationship, and are designated the lesser love interest. Polyamory is about free love to me. Not all polyamorous people see it that way.

    And despite my concerns about the ethics of hierarchical polyamory, I don't see it as a better or worse relationship style. Different strokes for different folks. Besides, monogamy has its own potential downsides, and it's the preferred style of most people.
     
  15. DinelodiiGitli

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    I don't think one is better than the other they're just different, just preferences.

    I myself am okay with both.
     
  16. MusicNotes

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    I myself am confused on exactly how a poly relationship would work, but I am not against it at all.
     
  17. Bismuth

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    I'd be up for it if it was something we jointly planned ahead, like meeting up with another couple for a swap for the night or inviting a third person but it wouldn't sit nearly as well with me if it was just willy-nilly.
     
  18. Cubiculum

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    As long as it's between three (or more, as the case might be) consenting people, I see no issues.
     
  19. Ryujin

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    I wouldn't mind being in a poly relationship, I think
     
  20. Secrets5

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    I think a poly relationship is fine as long as its happy and agreed by all the people who are involved. Unless I'm in one or a friend who asks for help, then it's not really any of my business.