Okay, so one of my friends, let's call her Jen, has been aggravating me for quite some time in the sense that she's over-sexualizing herself to me in particular. Just for the record, I know she's straight. I've asked her, and she was offended that I would ever think of her as anything other than straight. Any who, Jen's constantly asking me to unclip her bra for her, or help her take a shower since she has a broken arm. And frankly, I'm sick and tired of it, and when I confronted her about it, she responded with, "It's was straight friends do, Megan. You're straight right?" I want to throttle myself. Every time I say I'm getting uncomfortable with something, Jen simply questions my sexuality, and I am definitely not ready to come out. I don't know what to do, or if all of this is just in my head. Am I going crazy? Am I making this all about me? Is this really what straight friends do with each other?..:help:
Ok come out when your ready to. Also no you are not being selfish. I don't think that is what striaght friends do. She may not be straight and is uncomfortable about it. So she may do things that makes her feel like she has a girlfriend. She may be asking you because she likes you and wants to know if you are a lesbian so she can tell you that
I think people here are too quick to assume. Tbh, it sounds to me like she's bi-curious and/or totally knows you're gay. In case of the latter, I think you need to ask yourself some questions- Would you friend be ok with you being gay? Is there any way she could know you're gay? Like, maybe she looked through your phone or computer and found some "gay" stuff, like this site or just a post/text that says you're gay? This is just one of the many ways she could have found out, and though this question isn't super important compared to the others, it is good to have an idea how your friend has info, if they do. I was in a similar situation like this before, only my friend (now ex-friend) pressured me into kissing her. I had told her I was trans, but no bi... She totally suspected I was however.
I think Jens gay too. Its not what straight friends do even before I came out I never got asked by any of my female friends to unclip their bra's or take a shower with them, I think she's testing the water and wants to know if your gay before she comes out to you. What she's doing is actually really flirty maybe next time she says "your straight right" you could say why are you questioning yourself or something turn the question round on her make her feel uncomfortable
Um.. That's definitely not what straight friends do...unless she's getting the wrong idea of what "real" best friends AKA the ones in movies do? Could be a possibility. From the sound of it, I don't think she's trying to pressure you into coming out, but more like trying to pressure you into doing things that she wants you to do, despite how you feel. Maybe you could tell her that there are alternative ways to unhook a bra and that maybe instead of taking a shower, she could bathe so that her cast doesn't get wet. If she questions your friendship, then I suppose you should tell her the truth - that it makes you uncomfortable. Nothing's wrong with feeling uncomfortable.
I don't think a good friend would continuously pressure you to do something you aren't comfortable with. Jen might be gay, bi, or she could just be curious, either way it sounds like harassment. Some "straight" friends may experiment with each other but it shouldn't be something they're coerced into.
Well Jen probably isn't bi because OP never said anything about her dating guys. She could be curious or maybe she is bi idk but she definetly is attracted to women no doubt about that. And to OP I think Jen wants to be more than friends honestly.
If she's making you uncomfortable intentionally and isn't respecting you when you express this, Jen doesn't sound like a very good friend. I don't know what her intentions are but that is not how friends interact with one another. Some are speculating she could be gay, but if I'm being honest, the way you described it makes it sound like she's being malicious. This is not how friend's interact. Jen is intentionally harassing you and putting you into uncomfortable situations. Don't come out until you're ready. As for what to do about this situation... I don't know if you should continue being Jen's friend, frankly. She's being cruel and abusive. I'm sorry she's treating you like this.
My friend did the same kind of stuff to me until I was upset enough that I had to come out to him. I wouldn't recommend telling her. I told 3 friends and now a whole bunch of people know.
