1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why do I only attract people who play the same position in bed as I do?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by wannahavechange, Dec 1, 2015.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. wannahavechange

    wannahavechange
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2015
    Messages:
    550
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Jacksonville,fl
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OK... I know this sounds weird but just bear with me all you beautiful people.
    I've mentioned this a couple of times in some of my threads but I do seem to attract a lot of girls and gay guys who like to play the same position as I do If I we're ever sexually intimate with someone. And I think I now know why. chivalry is rare nowadays.. it's not dead just rare and I think because of my tendency to act like a white knight I think I give off the impression that I'm a dominant. But I just really like protecting and making people laugh and feel good. I always view myself as the protector... sometimes I feel like I have to plaster a sign on my back that says submissive or something weird. I know people can't tell just by looking what role you play in the bedroom but it's quite awkward to tell someone that you play the same position they do on the field ( football joke XD get it?). I also feel that because I am black and gay I'm automatically labeled as a top.. .
    Anyone else have this prob Bob?(!):bang::grin:
     
    #1 wannahavechange, Dec 1, 2015
  2. Justinian20

    Justinian20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2014
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Brisbane Australia
    Since you are a protector, and plenty of submissive boys want to be looked after and protected, they probably see you as dominant.

    Even I would see you that way. Unless of course you made your protective side a more submissive type of protective. I can't describe that exactly, but I'm sure some others on EC can describe how you can show that you are a submissively protective boy.
     
    #2 Justinian20, Dec 1, 2015
  3. biAnnika

    biAnnika
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,839
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Northeastern US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I know just what you mean.

    I am at least mildly submissive...would like to explore that more...but not only is my partner also mildly sub (and definitely non-dom), but every other person I'm attracted to is as well. I'm not exactly in the position of advertising, so I don't worry about having to wear a Scarlet S or anything...but yeah, it's frustrating!

    When I think about it, though, I have to admit that I'm at least somewhat put off by "classic dominant personalities"...and I really require a strong level of egalitarianism in any relationship...so it'll take a special top, I guess, if indeed I'm ever to find one.
     
    #3 biAnnika, Dec 1, 2015
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)