What do you consider "losing your virginity?"

You've lost your virginity when you search and search and can't find it!

:roflmao:

Seriously...

I'm not sure the concept is worth worrying about--it seems like "virginity" is often used as a shaming tool. Either for the "loser" who is "still a virgin" or the "slut" who lost virginity through casual sex.

Plus...the definition probably varies person to person.

I think any sex act that results or can result in orgasm might well qualify as a loss of virginity.

 

A sex act that may reasonably result in orgasm. Not restricting it to actual orgasm as some people struggle to get that release. Many women don't orgasm with penetrative sex, doesn't make them virgins.

 

The basic term is for straight sex involving Penetration. I have a gay friend who has never had gay sex, but made out with and had oral with several guys: does this make him a virgin? I would argue the term is outdated and somewhat irrelevant. Sexual experience is a better metric, but at the end of the day, who really cares?

 

Anal sex for gays, not sure for lesbians.

 

Hmm, I think people can decide when they've given away their virginity... I always called myself a virgin until I had sex via penetration... but a quote I always used during that time was~

"I'm a virgin... but I wouldn't be the first choice to be thrown into the volcano"

At the far end of the "choose what you want" spectrum, though, one of my friends always claimed she was a virgin despite her giving out... certain oral pleasures... like candy, and having used a strap-on her friend's husband... She was an interesting person, but at the same time, it's her body so she can say what she wants about it XD;;;;; I also think this is important for survivors of abuse/molestation/rape because I think it's not something that can be taken from you, and I wish that everyone out there who has gone through that would be told that, too~

 

I'd say engaging in any sexual activities with another person (regardless of gender) counts as losing one's virginity.

 

I think this is interesting, too. For example, does experimentation as a child with other children count as losing one's virginity? Or does it have to be during or after puberty? Does petting count? Oral?

It's kind of weird... I'm not a virgin according to most definitions, and I gave oral to a guy a month or so ago... but I still don't feel like I'm "not a virgin". Nor do I feel like a virgin, I guess. I agree with others above that it's pretty much an outdated concept.

 

I think it's just a stupid social construct. Either you have had sex or you haven't. Doesn't matter how.

 

*shrug* It's a stupid and outdated construct, like others have said before me.

 

I personally think the concept of virginity is overrated and unnecessarily chastising and pressured for both men and women. The standards people hold to it are also biased, full of loopholes, and often from a hetero-normative perspective.

I've never had vaginal sex, but I did have every other form of it. To some people, I'd be considered a virgin; others not so much.

Because of how open some of the standards are, why even really have them if they just make people feel incompetent or guilty?

 

Technically, you're still a virgin if you have anal sex too (according to the straight world). Look up the term "saddlebacking". And It's not just a Christian phenomenon either.

I think It's outdated. Sex is pretty much everything involving genitals, so I would consider someone who had oral sex as not a virgin. This also includes gay men and straight people.

If we're going to use the old-fashioned definition (penetration) for this word, then we might as well say that marriage means a union between a man and a woman only, and rape does not count as rape if It's between a husband and his wife. Those were also the original definitions. Why do we accept that gay people and women have rights now for those concepts but not this one?

 

I guess I think of it as when you do it with someone, there's physical contact, and it does or could lead to an orgasm.

 

Intimate sexual contact with another person is what I would consider losing one's virginity. Regardless of the type of sex. Being a "virgin" at anything simply means you have no prior experience.

 

It's an opinion thing. I would consider you to have "lost your virginity" when you and a partner's (or partners) genitals are involved. Whether that be oral, anal, fingering, strap-on, or whatever. Anything forced and without consent, I don't count. I believe the concept of virginity is a personal thing and is for each individual to decide.

 

I don't really care. If I'm 16 years old and I can get bullied for being a virgin than the concept holds no value with me anyway.

 

Virginity is a stupid, evil concept that exists to stigmatize the sexually inexperienced.

 

I would say doing any sex act with someone else would count, but at the same time, who cares?

 

For me it was penetration. I like the idea of losing my virginity, even though I get what every one else is saying here too. I lost my virginity to a girl, and then had sexual experiences with guys. I liked that I waited and when I lost my virginity with a guy it felt more important and was a part of me claiming my sexuality.

 

I consider it to be whatever it is to a particular individual, and something that one person can define however they like for themselves and something that can't be defined for anyone else.

(Personally, I considered it to be anything penetrative/sexual contact to climax, whichever one were to happen first.)

I actually had a pretty long-standing fight with one of my friends about this when I was 17 because she insisted that only PIV sex counted and there was such a thing as 'medical/scientific' loss of virginity.

I told her I must have 'scientifically' lost mine to a bicycle seat, then.