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Has coming out divided you family?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Dec 6, 2015.

  1. Driftr

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    Sorry for the gloomy title but I was just wondering...

    Are there some people in your family that support you and others who straight out don't? (like say your siblings support you but your parents don't)

    Do any family members help you to fight for acceptance within the whole family? Has this caused any relationships between allied family members and anti-gay family members to dwindle? Or is there any tension between them?

    I know this is such a sensitive topic so I would understand if there are not so many posts on here. But I would just love to know if it happens, just so I can just face the truth sooner. I'd really appreciate it though if you shared any experiences if you had them.
     
  2. AtheistWorld

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    My family is pretty left-wing, so no.
     
  3. Wukie

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    I only came out to certain family members that are close to me and have impacted my life and never have to others unless they ask because they are just not in my life. But some of those family members would love to find out I'm gay so they could light each others ears degrading me. I also lost some homophobic friends over it. Thankfully close family and friends support me so I don't care what the others, family or not, think.
     
  4. Hexagon

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    Yes, specifically into "me" and "my family"
     
  5. Batman

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    Concern for this situation is the main reason why I'm not out.
     
  6. blueshadedsoul

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    I'm only out to my mom, so not exactly. But if I was out to my whole family (closest family at least), maybe it would.
     
  7. Manix

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    Only those who I shouldn't want in my life anyway. The ones who matter have stayed and I am okay with this.
     
  8. YinYang

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    ^ Basically, especially when it comes to my gender.
     
  9. Kasey

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    Thirded.

    My mom hasn't talked to me in almost a week since I told her and my father they NEED to talk with my gender therapist in person and I'm not going with them as a male.

    I'm actually quite sad.
     
  10. Cedar

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    I haven't really come out yet. My mum seems to think that me asking to be referred to with male pronouns was me being manic and having a melt-down. She seems to think that I imagined the whole thing because I was overly depressed at the time(before I was admitted to the hospital for a second time). I haven't bothered making any mention of it again since she doesn't understand and probably never will care to. What she doesn't understand is the fact that I became depressed again because she wasn't and chooses not to be supportive of me. Guess I'll have to learn to live without her approval. I really feel that the only way I can experience being myself is living on my own. So yeah, I do feel that this will divide the family. I'd be surprised if it didn't.
     
  11. guitar

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    My coming out sort of unified my family, honestly. First when they were all whispering about my sexuality trying to figure it out. The only divide was for the brief period between my brother knowing (and having my back), and my telling my parents.
     
  12. JonSomebody

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    My coming out to my mom whom by the way told my siblings behind my back after she promised me she would not do so....has caused me a lot of issues with my family in regard to accepting me or treating me the way they do each other. Whatever I've encountered in my life where I needed family support, I have not gotten. I would have to deal with my issues by myself or from the support of friends and their family members. My immediate family members have always had problems with me due to the fact that I've become a very strong individual and do know how to survive in this world without them. All of them are co-dependent upon each other because this is the way my mom had treated them and now she has passed away, they relies on each other a lot where as those situations that they dealing with does not mean all that to me and I guess because I've dealt with a lot and more by myself and overcame successfully. The only time that I hear from a family member is because they have a hidden agenda and want something from me. I have never received a call asking how I'm doing or do I need anything....NEVER!!!! Like right now in my life...its been months since I've heard from any one of them and I am pretty used to it because during the really dark periods of my life when they knew what I was facing....I did not hear or see any of them for a little over three years. Therefore, dealing with those circumstances makes you feel alone but its okay because I also know now that I can survive and can overcome anything that comes my way without them in my life....and if they can go on with their daily lives without any concern for me..then I should be able to do the same...
     
  13. Burnedcloset

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    No they all turn against me and try to manipulate me
     
  14. kibou97

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    It's given me a distaste towards certain family members but besides that, not really.
     
  15. Kira

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    Yep, my dad hasn't spoken to me in years and neither has his side of the family. I pretty much grew up to be the embodiment of everything he hates despite his efforts, so I suppose that's why.

    I know he has some screws loose, but I can't help but worry.
     
  16. Vesta

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    No. Though that said 2 members of my family I still haven't come out to. Mostly because I haven't really cared to. Once I leave for university in a few weeks time I intend to write my uncle a letter coming out to him and explaining why it took so long. With my brother I'm really on the fence about it. In one way I suspect he already knows because my mum isn't exactly the quietest person around with private things, but also because I haven't tried to hide it. In another way I'm not sure if I want to because of a comment he made when he was watching Black Sails and a same-sex sex scene came on between two men and the first thing he came out with was, 'It's not natural.' which has made me feel like I shouldn't bother. But back onto the other hand, I should just go ahead and do it so there are no more secrets and he can go ahead and think whatever the hell he likes of me, good or bad. But then yet on another side my brother tends to have a very large mouth when it comes to voicing his thoughts and opinions which could mean he may very well speak to the wrong person and have this go horribly wrong for me.

    All in all, not as of yet but who knows.
     
  17. mangotree

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    If you remove all emotion, blood, culture and community from the situation and look at it logically, do you really want to be around someone who is that abrasive and close minded?
     
  18. Andrew99

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    So far no.
     
  19. Geek

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    My sister and I are liberal, my brother i'm not sure (most likely liberal or at least libertarian), and my parents and grandmother are typical Faux "News" watching Republicans. I'm only out to my sister at the moment and she doesn't care. She loves gay people (she told me "I love gay people! Gotta catch em all!"). My mom is very religious. I honestly don't know how they will react when I eventually come out to them. My dad is more socially liberal than my mom and is more likely to be accepting.

    I don't know if my mom would hate me because of it, but she'll definitely be judgemental about it.
     
  20. BornAnew

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    Nah more like united them against me!
    I reckon once some of my younger cousins find out there could be a divide as I'm sure some of them will be more than accepting!