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Why is there so much biphobia in the LGBT+ Community?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by MayaBee, Dec 11, 2015.

  1. MayaBee

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    I dont get it. Shouldnt escecially this community be accepting for every type of sexuality?

    I seen alot of vids, texts and Comments on how a gay person would never date a bi person.
    I get that you dont want to be an experiment for someone who is finding their sexuality but not every bi person only wants to experiment.
     
  2. hapa

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    I've noticed that there is quite a lot of bigotry in general within the LGBT community. I'm not sure why either.
     
    #2 hapa, Dec 11, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2015
  3. Distant Echo

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    Because people are eager to fit in, because they are afraid to think for themselves, because most people play follow the leader and go along with the pack mentality?

    That's not me, nor will it ever be.

    It's the same mentality that says everyone must have a label, must fit a stereotype. Bugger that!
     
  4. WhereWeWere

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    "they'll leave me for the opposite gender11!"

    sigh
     
  5. Abbra

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    For some people it stems partially from bitterness. A fair share of people's first homosexual relationships are with people who were just experimenting but didn't tell them that. The person then takes that as "bisexual people don't exist because this person lied".

    While this isn't the majority of where the biphobia comes from, it is a factor that I don't see discussed very often. Not that it's right. It's the same thing as being cheated on and claiming that all women are awful. Bad situations don't excuse being a bigot.
     
  6. thepandaboss

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    Basically. I think a lot of it has to do with people not really being clear on what bisexuality means and then defining bisexuality without actually being bisexual. Like take all the people who basically say that bisexuality means you only like cis men and women and can't be attracted to anyone in the trans community. In order to be attracted to trans people (and I'm including non-binary people since they identify with the transgender community), these same people suggest you have to identify yourself as pansexual. Well, being trans myself, that's insulting. I identify as male. I'm not a third gender just because I'm not a cis man. Bisexual people can be attracted to non-binary people too.

    People also assume that just because you're attracted to multiple genders that it has to mean you're promiscuous or will inevitably cheat on your partners. Sure, bisexual people have cheated before. But so have straight people, gay people, etc. Whether you'll cheat on your partner or not isn't determined by your orientation. Bisexual people can be just as faithful as anyone else. Being bisexual doesn't mean you're going to sleep with everyone.
     
  7. PatrickUK

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    I think there is a lot of misunderstanding and ignorance towards bi people and it's really not fair, but I don't think it's always deliberate or borne out of prejudice and bigotry. Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath and try to avoid the instinct to explode in anger at a comment that may be made out of naivety. I'm sure it's hard for bi people and I'm not attempting to excuse the genuinely hostile comments, but if we can try to remain calm and broaden understanding we may avoid some of the in fighting and bitter arguments that occur within the LGBT community over this issue.
     
  8. Kinky

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    Phew, I can always count on you to be sensible. I don't think it's pure prejudice and bigotry either. It could be "broken self-esteem and trying to protect myself". If my boyfriend left me for a girl, I'd probably become more cautious about dating a bi. Of course, the rational part of me would say it depends on the person. And the bigger and hurt irrational part would rather avoid the situation altogether. It's going to take understanding from both sides to work.
     
  9. Par

    Par
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    This is what confuses me, If you're using the label bisexual, I get that you can be attracted to binary transgender people as well as cisgender people. But if you're attracted to non-binary genders surely that doesn't fit with the definition of the word?

    I'm not saying that to be aggressive or anything, I just don't understand
     
  10. BryanM

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    There's a lot of racism, sexism, infighting, etc. within the LGBTQ community, and it always makes me very concerned. I think a lot of biphobia and bi erasure has a lot to do with misunderstandings and lack of education of LGBTQ identities. But this, along with the other things I've just mentioned are things that we definitely need to address as LGBTQ people. A LGBTQ movement that's not anti-racist, anti-sexist, and anti-bigotry in general isn't a movement I want to be a part of.
     
  11. Feelunique

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    I think no matter what group you are in no one will ever agree 100%. I've heard so many different opinions on bisexuality from all over. I'm just at a point I know my feelings from very young, my actions, my experiences, relationships, etc. I don't need a perfect label just someone who excepts me for me and is happy.
     
  12. BryanM

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    The way I've learned it and the way my LGBTQ Resource Center on campus describes it is the attraction to at least two genders. It doesn't have to mean just two genders, or just the two genders of the binary.
     
  13. Par

    Par
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    Purely from a language point of view wouldn't polysexual make more sense for that situation?
     
  14. BryanM

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    That's a reason why some people will use the term polysexual to define their sexual orientation, yes. Other reasons people choose one term over another can also include "political" reasons, or reasons that are within the politics of the LGBTQ community that influence them. I've been told that the two can be used interchangeably, but it's also important to respect people's identities. I've also learned that bi can be used as an umbrella term for all identities that fall under the middle sexuality spectrum.
     
  15. Blackbirdz

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    If we're talking about the dating world, I will always side with a person's right to exercise their own sexual preferences. No one is ever entitled to a fair chance at sex or a relationship. And I believe a person can absolutely turn someone else down for a date based upon any of the most superficial reasons. So, when someone says that they were rejected for a date because they're bisexual and then complains about biphobia, I don't sympathize with that complaint. Nor do I sympathize when someone claims fatphobia when they are rejected for a date because of their weight. Body type, face, height, political ideology, occupation, race, religion, language, wealth, education, disability - these are all qualities over which a person has complete autonomy in exercising his own preferences when it comes to dating. And yes, sexuality is among those qualities.
     
  16. thepandaboss

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    I know one person (I believe that was author Shiri Eisner) basically uses bisexual to mean that she dates people who are either a similar gender or a different gender than her. And if you adopt the philosophy that gender is a spectrum, it's very easy to apply the concept of bisexuality to it. If gender exists upon a spectrum of masculine and feminine identities, a bisexual could be attracted to both sides of this spectrum.

    I've included a visual below. I apologize for my handwriting.

    View image: Bisexual and Gender Chart
     
  17. Par

    Par
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    Well, first I'd point out that bigender is a fluid gender, not fixed.

    Also, I have never heard that definition before, but doesn't that cover all genders and therefore would be pansexuality?
     
  18. kageshiro

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    There's stupidity in the human community and gay people are a part of that. We just need enough level headed people who would never date anyone like that and it evens out..
     
  19. thepandaboss

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    The reason it's included in the middle is not to denote that it's a fixed gender but it bridges the gap in the spectrum, so to speak. I drew the whole thing in about ten minutes.

    Also, if you want to get technical about it, pansexuality is usually considered as part of the bisexual umbrella by members of the pansexuality/bisexuality community. I for one call myself bisexual because I feel that it more accurately describes my patterns of attraction- I'm attracted to masculine and feminine people. I've just never liked using the term pansexual because it feels like people don't believe that bisexuality is inclusive and assume bisexuality is "dirty". I want to put that notion aside.
     
  20. Par

    Par
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    It makes more sense in my mind for both bisexuality and pansexuality to be under the polysexuality umbrella.