Just some background. In the past I have been the anti social loaner type. I would come home from work on Friday and not talk to another soul until I went back on Monday. I hated going out and being around others. I led a solitary life and I liked it that way. Since I came out that has changed. I don't want to be alone. I want to be places where there are other people. Pretty much the only time I am at home is where I am asleep. I've been spending a lot of time with friends. Here it is Sunday and I need to do some stuff around the house but being here by myself is just driving me batty. I think I am going go down to a coffee shop and do some work stuff. Maybe that way I can get something done, but still be around others. So my question is did anyone else notice this in them self after coming out, and did it eventually settle down. I'm glad I am getting out, but this is getting annoying I've got stuff to do.
Definitely recognise that sunday afternoons is the worst cos everyone else is out doin stuff. I'm sure it gets better though.
I know that feeling, I HATE being alone, I used to love it and now its just horrible, so the weekends are torture, and you don't even wanna know about summer vacation
I'm the same. Apparently I have extroverted energy, and I've found myself to be more energised and active now I'm out, and now I'm out I'm finding more things I want to do.
Hi there! Reading your post, I saw myself in the mirror. Honestly! Ever since I came out, I have a lot more fun being with my friends and doing things. Like you, I wasn't very social before I came out. I guess I was always afraid of saying something about me that would give me away. You are trying to enjoy something that you haven't allowed yourself to enjoy before. You have learned that hey there is a completely different side to you. A side that you didn't know about. But with time you will be able to balance your social life and work (or the things you need to do) again. Sometimes it is still hard for me to sit down and start doing things because I still think about how much fun I had spending time with my friends. What has helped me, is to say to myself, okay I want to enjoy the evening with my friends. But before that I have to sit down and do stuff. So, I work at things for an hour or so, take a break, and then continue working on it. Does it always work? No it doesn't, but it is a start. So, if you think that going to a coffee shop will help you to get some work done, go and do that! Try staying there until you have completed some work.
Yea I'm like that to but it was years later until I started wanting to get out. Now the urge is unreal. Unfortunately my partner isn't so I have to socialize myself other ways which sucks.
I hate being alone on the weekends. During the week I am at work with coworkers and clients. Then during the weekend I go out with the guy I'm dating or seeing family. But there are times that I am alone with my thoughts. That's why I am going to join a couple of LGBT groups.
Wow,I'm the exact opposite! When I was younger,you could'nt keep me home! Now,going to the grocery store is my big out! I have many health problems and I know this is a big reason,but I hate when I know I have to leave my house. Sometimes I wish things were different,but I'm pretty okay with the way things are,now. (Thank God for you guys and EC!)
I'm not sure, exactly, but I understand. I went through this when I was in my early 20's - around the time I started kissing the girl I was crashing with for a few months. I always wanted to be out and hated coming home from waiting tables and just watching a movie and going to sleep. Actually, I couldn't stand it to the point I was suicidal if I had to be alone. I didn't want to be alone, ever... so if that's related to sexuality or just a need to feel accepted, I'm not sure, but I doubt they are mutually exclusive. You and I are both in Texas and I've found this is a hard place to have an alternative lifestyle... if you would like to talk, feel free to IM me. JB
I don't think it's a phase, but I guess you could try to just enjoy every single no matter where you are or who you're with. Sounds like your personality changed a bit. As far as Texas... I'm getting outta here ASAP! lol Austin's not too bad, though. DFW kinda sucks (I'm in the metroplex, too).
I'm really feeling the same way right now. Although I have not officially come out, I am associating with more open-minded friends now, and I think that is enough. Not any of that "that's gay" nonsense. I also feel the being alone craziness... not so fun.
I moved from DFW to Austin about 7 months ago. There is no way I could have come out up there. Austin is great though. The areas outside of Austin aren't quite as progressive though. My only complaint about Austin is that the gay community is really not organized, and I think that is because folks in Austin just don't care. I've seen guys walking down the street holding hands and no one says a thing. I'm living in Round Rock now, but I think I am going to move into Austin proper when my lease is up. Seems like I spend all of time there.
I think Austin is fairly liberal. It definitely suited my lifestyle. You just have to find the right people to know, and places to go. I live in Round Rock, it isn't as conservative as it may seem. However, that is mainly due to the very liberal teen uprising there. Though never have experienced it myself, I have heard Dallas has a great gay community. Of course, this is coming from my manager at work. (Who is a giant queen, but I <3 him) He's told me Dallas offers a lot of clubs, bars, and events. Who knows?
i've always been an extrovert but after coming out i seem to be evenmore so, i never get any work done anyway so its all good!
Oh my gosh, I hope I become more outgoing! I came out a few months ago, and it still seems that, aside from a few new friends (ALL upperclassmen) I haven't gone out and met anyone else. I don't want to be like my roommates who stay in the room all day and have horrible senses of humor!
Me too, I'm so introverted and I hardly talk to anyone. I hope that changes after I come out because I don't like being alone all the time, but it's going to be a while before I come out to more people than I'm out to now.
OMG I'm going to Austin like next weekend! How exciting I'll be within like an hour driving distance of an ec member! How weird! Ok... no more simple minded excitedness... I think I might have done this a bit but I never was a loner but I wanted to be around my friends because I was afraid of losing them....
