Lesbian Couples

Why is it that every picture of a real lesbian couple I see one seems to be noticeably more masculine then the other?? (By real lesbian couple I mean not tv shows, porn etc.) It drives me mad because I'm reasonably feminine although not completely and I'm more attracted to feminine women, yet from what I see it just doesn't seem to happen.

In fact this was one of the things my mum asked me when I came out to her "So are you the man or women?" It made me want to scream at her!!! Well more then wanted to before that if that was possible!

Has anyone else come across this or is it just me being my usual weird self??

[Mickey]

Some fit what you say,but that's more stereotypical. Some women are feminine,some not so feminine. But we're ALL women,irregardless. Everyone is different and every person is attracted to different things.
It's the same with gay men. You see stereotypes,a lot,because that's how straight people think we are. Dumbasses!

[littledinosaurs]

They are more noticeable thane regular looking girls who are lesbian couples?
i have seen couples that are very femmeish so there is hope!
don't worry!

[Courtneyyy]

It's more noticeable. It's like with a same sex couple it's easier to see who is more attractive because it's easier to compare two people of the same sex because they already have that in common.

And maybe it's the whole opposites attract thing. Idk, I'm feminine and I like feminine girls too.

[pirateninja]

I'll admit, I'm masculine and prefer feminine girls, but that's just me. We all have different tastes and the butch + femme couple are just more noticable because they are the stereotype. I know plenty of femme + femme couples.

[Dazed]

i dont really look for a type of girl.
but if their personality screams " OMFG LETS GO SHOPPINGGG"
im running as fast as i can.

im half fem half tomboy.
i can be girly. and i can dress all girly get my nails done and all that good stuff.
but honestly. when im at home or with my close friends. im wearing mens tshirts and PJs and most likelying playing so kind of burping game. ^_^

[vipedn]

Its just a stereotype. But it usually is more often like that. Because alot of girls are more attracted to males appearance but attracted to females personality. Idk thats just what I see more often ESPECIALLY when they're first coming out. They feel more safe and in their element that way.

[Psychedelic Bookmarks]

Perhaps you just need to meet more lesbians. I admit it can seem like that, but I'm sure that's not totally the case. There are femme/femme and butch/butch couples around. And lots who it would be hard to put those kind of labels on at all. I get the same feeling as you, but from what people on this site say, I know it's so much more complicated than that, and I think that when I meet some more gay women I'll see much more of the diversity around.

Also it could be that when a couple has a clear masc/fem dynamic, it's obvious that they're a couple and you assume. But if you see two butches together, you're more likely to assume they're just friends, and if you see two femmes, you might assume they were just straight friends.

[ccdd]

I've known several (well, 3) lesbian couples - of varying relationship lengths - and in none of them has one been particularly more masculine than the other, so it doesn't always work out like that. Although in two of them one of them has had very short hair, but still very feminine. My friend, (who's very feminine and in a relationship with another very feminine girl) keeps on getting annoyed that her mum keeps asking her "who's the man in the relationship then?" - because, you know, the whole point of a lesbian relationship is that there isn't one...

I think that sometimes you will get couples where looks more masculine and one who looks more feminine, but I think you also get people who are the same too. Plus, in any case, most lesbians I know in real life aren't really really femme or butch in any traditional sense of the word - they're just normal. I mean, I'm neither - I don't really wear make-up and heels but I have long hair and wear jewellery sometimes etc - more like a tomboy maybe. And I've been attracted to a range of girls - from very feminine to sporty/tomboyish. I'm not sure I'm making sense now but I think that what someone said about things being more noticeable when you have two people of the same sex rather than of the other sex is probably right. What I mean to say is: in my real-life experience this hasn't been the case, and couples come in a variety of mixtures.

[Courtneyyy]

Originally Posted by Courtneyyy

It's more noticeable. It's like with a same sex couple it's easier to see who is more attractive because it's easier to compare two people of the same sex because they already have that in common.

And maybe it's the whole opposites attract thing. Idk, I'm feminine and I like feminine girls too.

Another thought that just came into my head. When most people see two feminine girls together, the assumption is that they are just friends, even if they are holding hands. Some of my girl friends hold hands for fun sometimes.

[Lizz K]

I always say that in a relationship I'd have to "be the man." But by that I just mean I'd want to be the one to pamper and protect. It may sound stereotypical but it's who I am. I definitely don't look like a man, I don't dress like one, but my demeanor is more tomboy than anything. And I definitely go for the girly girls.

[Cheese Love]

It's just a stereotype.

I'm a lot more masculine than my girlfriend, but I'm not putting on a show. I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

I can say the same thing about gay guys, which I have definitely seen before.

Originally Posted by Hidden Angel

Why is it that every picture of a real lesbian couple I see one seems to be noticeably more masculine then the other?? (By real lesbian couple I mean not tv shows, porn etc.) It drives me mad because I'm reasonably feminine although not completely and I'm more attracted to feminine women, yet from what I see it just doesn't seem to happen.

In fact this was one of the things my mum asked me when I came out to her "So are you the man or women?" It made me want to scream at her!!! Well more then wanted to before that if that was possible!

Has anyone else come across this or is it just me being my usual weird self??

This happens in gay male relationships to with people asking that and it's utterly offensive to me. As for what I've noticed in lesbian relationships I have never seen one more masculine then the other. Just two normal women who happen to be lesbian and in a relationship with each other.

[Absentminded]

I'm pretty masculine, but, I don't like girly girls, or at least not the ones that are like "OMFG I BROKE A NAIL, I'M GOING TO DIE". I actually prefer butches :eusa_eh, but the girl I'm with now isn't really butchy, ironically enough.

I've seen all 3 types, but, I do see the 'femme + butch' more, at least in pictures.

[Jenni7117]

My gf and I are very feminine, so its just a stereotype. there definitely isnt a "man" and "woman" role in our relationship, and i couldnt ever see putting that kind of label on myself.