I have been putting up with a lot of emotional turmoil lately that I've not discussed with any of my family. I'm getting beat up at school, I have lead poisoning and have started chelation therapy which is all kinds of embarrassing, my friends are being awful to me, and I've had issues with depression for months know. I'm getting professional help for depression and low self esteem, but the other issues are things I've more or less had to deal with myself. Unfortunately I let my emotions out at the worst possible time today. We went over to my aunt's house for Christmas eve with most of my family being there. I was dwelling on the issues I've been having and it was really upsetting me. At one point in the evening I went out to the car to bring in some cookies that I baked. I brought them into the kitchen, but then I dropped them amd the plate shattered into a million pieces. I was already really upset due to the aforementioned reasons, plus the cookies I spent all afternoon making were ruined and I cut my foot up on the glass. I started crying really hard after this and pretty much my entire family had to come in just to comfort me to the point where I would get out of the kitchen so they could clean up. I was sitting on the floor with my foot bleeding and I needed help to walk to the bathroom. My mom cleaned out my cuts and wrapped my foot in a bandage. She thought we were gonna have to go to the hospital at first, but I was surprisingly not actually bleeding that bad. I cried for like 20 minutes straight after this while my entire family tried to cheer me up by talking to me like I was 3 years old. I completely embarrassed my mom, my dad, my brothers and myself. It was terrible. We had to leave early because my baby brother was sick, and I am really thankful for that. This entire experience was terribly awkward and nobody even knows the full reason I was crying.
Perhaps you should let them know it wasn't just the cookies? All of that sounds like a terrible weight to bear. I consider myself pretty tough and I don't know if I could stand the negativity from so many directions.
I don't really want to talk to them after that. That must have been so awkward for everyone there, I can't bare to even acknowledge I know it happened. I probably ruined the entire evening for most of them, this whole situation is just terrible. I don't even want to talk to my mom after what happened, I feel like such a baby.
That sounds really bad. I hate that you had to go through that. The silver lining in it all is, at least you know your family cares enough about you to console you rather than bash you and antagonize you for crying. Also, you may not want to talk to them about it..which is perfectly understandable..but you may need to eventually. At least your Mom. Putting your emotions/thoughts/feelings into a box and tucking them away in the back of your closet doesn't make them go away.
My advice would be to not beat yourself up. I'm pretty sure by now they know that it wasn't just the cookies. I really wish you a verry merry Christmas . I wish I could do a picture for you right now but I'm rocking a baby to sleep as I'm typing and talking out my thoughts at the same time lolz (does anyone else do that sometimes ). Sooooo I'll draw it later.!!!! Cheer up.
Oh crap I meant to give you the screen shotted version how do I delete this. I hope I don't get into trouble
I did not realize that you have so much on you at the moment! Don't worry about your outburst. Actually, one symptom of lead poisoning are mood swings and unexplained behavioral changes so even if this was not symptom of the poisoning I'm sure everyone thought it was. How serious this poisoning is and how did it happen?
Everyone is allowed to have feelings and emotions and bad times and everyone should be allowed to let it all out sometimes. In your situation the timing may not have been perfect but it's something you couldn't have stopped no matter how hard you'd wanted to. I'm sure your family understands that. You are so strong for going through that crap every day. You don't have to feel bad for "losing control". It makes you a human. If you ever want to talk, feel free to post on my wall. Please don't beat yourself up. <3
Thanks a bunch, that was really sweet of you.(*hug*) ---------- Post added 25th Dec 2015 at 05:12 PM ---------- I got the lead poisoning from drinking tap water. I live in Flint, Michigan, and they recently switched our water supply to something cheaper, but apparently the new supply was contaminated with lead. A ton of people have gotten lead poisoning, mine is kind of middle of the road. Apparently I had it for quite a while before going and seeing a doctor about it so it is quite a bit worse than it should be.
I saw the story about this on MSNBC the other day. Apparently the city of Flint switched to using river water from using lake water to save money. However, river water has a somewhat different composition from lake water and needs to be treated before being run through the pipes or it causes their inner surface to break down - and these pipes included components made of lead - which has been leaching out into the drinking water. Anyway. I'm sorry you are going through all this (*hug*) Hopefully the new year will be a better one for you. Take care, Todd
