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Racial Prefrence. Racist or Not?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by justine16, Dec 24, 2015.

  1. justine16

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    Is it racist to prefer a race in dating. Excluding individuals who do it for obviously racist reasons (ie. white male dating an Asian female because he thinks she will be submissive ect.) So, do you think it is a harmless preference or a hurtful and racist fetish? Btw this isn't because I have a racial preference, I was just wondering.
     
  2. Skaros

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    Well, I think sometimes people are just attracted to certain physical features that are only found in some races. I don't think there's a problem with that aspect.

    Although, I would say it's only racist if it's for an actual racist reason. Such as assuming someone of a certain race is very dominant or submissive. I'm guessing people, especially in the LGBT community, stereotype the typical black male as always "dominant" while they stereotype the typical Asian male as "submissive". I'm guessing there's reasons that make something like this racist and other reasons that don't make it racist.
     
    #2 Skaros, Dec 24, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2015
  3. loveislove01

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    It's not racist to prefer a certain race in dating. As long as you're not all "I hate (race) people, they're not allowed to talk to me" or something

    We all have preferences- well for the most part.

    Would you call mono-sexuals sexist? Probably not. For example, I'm lesbian and I have a strong preference for females.

    It's the same concept, really.
    So it isn't racist
     
  4. BryanM

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    I think this is a very good video on the topic [YOUTUBE]6m-mbex4f9A[/YOUTUBE]

    Like Kat said, I think if you ask people why they have preferences, you will quickly see whether or not they're being racist or prejudiced in their dating life.
     
  5. Plattyrex

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    Not really. I'm more attracted to people with blue eyes. Does that mean I hae a prejudice against other eye colors?
     
  6. Steve FS

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    Brilliant video. It opened my eyes a bit. Thanks for sharing.
     
  7. BryanM

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    I think that's comparing apples to oranges, and it completely disregards historical injustices to racial minorities and the media's obsession with western white beauty standards which lead to racial "preferences".
     
  8. Steve FS

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    I like to think of this issue as more exclusion than inclusion.

    So you're more attracted to people with blue eyes. Great. I see nothing wrong with that.

    However, if you said, "I won't ever date someone with brown eyes", that's where the problem lies, and that's where a lot of introspection is needed.
     
  9. Kira

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    Eh, I just like people who are kind and/or pretty. Everything like this is way over my head. Funnily enough, straight guys seem to think I'm being judgemental when I reject them so there's that.
     
  10. Pret Allez

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    Whatever we do in this thread, it must not upset white people, regardless of the merits of the arguments.
     
  11. Plattyrex

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    Is it though? I'm not saying that you should not date someone because of their skin color, but surely finding certain skin colors attractive is only natural just as with any physical trait, correct? It's not like people just decide they want to find certain physical traits attractive and then magically find said traits attractive, it's kind of beyond a person's own control.
     
  12. AwesomGaytheist

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    I do not believe so.
     
  13. Jellal

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    Sure, I think it's racist, but at the same time, it IS also your preference.

    It's not up to anyone else to dictate your preference.
     
  14. BryanM

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    Well, there does happen to be a focus on western standards of beauty as it stands now, and that could potentially be a reason certain whiter (or white passing) skin tones usually being the preferred skin tone for many people subconsciously. I can see someone just happening to like a preferred skin tone, but I think more goes into it than them just being like "it's just my preference". Certain factors can go into creating such preferences, and many times when white people talk about these topics they just like to brush that over and think of anecdotes like "a person of color told me that they don't date white people. Isn't that reverse racism?" or the old notion of liberal colorblindness. Yes, people can have preferences, and honestly, I think some people of color tolerate a lot of people who do have these “racial preferences” because they know that their time is saved from having to deal with these people. That doesn't mean that the problems of racial preferences does not need to be dealt with subconsciously, though.

    In most cases, I do think that race preferences in dating are influenced by some degree by racism. That doesn't mean that the person with said preferences is a hood wearing KKK member. All it means is that they are influenced by a racist standard of beauty in their decisions, which can be corrected by them coming to realize why they find certain things preferable. Part of unlearning oppressive and racist behavior is feeling uncomfortable, so I've definitely started taking a tone of "I'm not going to stay quiet so you can remain comfortable" on a lot of these topics, and that might just be how I am currently.

    I think it's important to put white feelings aside in this conversation as Pret Allez said, and begin to listen to people of color on these topics, especially when they are the ones who have to deal with this every single day.

    I'm sorry if it seems that I'm rambling. I'm trying to wrap up my thoughts as succinctly as possible but I kept writing so much.
     
  15. KnucklesNation

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    I think racial preferences can definitely be offensive; and even to the race which they prefer. I was approached by guys before who'd fantasized, wanted to date, or have sex with a black guy .. and I was not happy about it. It made me feel the opposite of what I'm sure they intended. I felt like another event they aimed to cross off of their bucket lists or something. My skin color should have been the last reason anyone would or wouldn't approach me.
     
  16. Aussie792

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    Definitionally, I believe it's fairly clearly racist. It severity is of course dependent on individual circumstances, but I don't think it's coincidental that a very large percentage of respondents to this question just so happen to find white people significantly more attractive than everyone else.

    I know two people who look very similar to me in all but skin colour; so similar that the only features you could distinguish by describing them in plain language are skin colour, eye colour and hair texture, which are fairly mundane features. I find it spurious to say the least that different racial groups (remember, race, unlike ethnicity, does not have a biological basis) have unique features beyond skin colour.

    As Bryan said much more eloquently than I'll bother to put it, racial preferences evidently do not mean you are a raving lunatic with a shrine to Hitler, but it stretches credibility to say that racial preferences are innate or totally random.
     
    #16 Aussie792, Dec 24, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2015
  17. gravechild

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    No, it isn't racist to have a preference. In fact, I think most people have one, whether race-based or not. For example, I like dark hair, and this isn't specific to any one race. I won't exclude those who don't, but it catches my eyes, first.

    Using "preference" when you write an entire group of people off is racist, but sounds nicer. And it goes without saying that "no ___" on a hookup app *is* exclusionary and prejudiced. Notice it's usually one group of people writing off others that fall outside of their niche, so they see no issue with it.

    People wouldn't be getting defensive if they knew something didn't apply to them. You could word it a certain way, "I'm more attracted to blue eyes" but it really betrays something more important to said person. I've never seen someone say, "Only brown eyes, please" but hear blue eyes more specifically (in other words, white, majority of the time).
     
  18. guitar

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    There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference. It's what you do with that preference that matters.
     
  19. wannahavechange

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    I get this one a lot lolz. Nope I am not dominant XD. I'm more of the submissive badassery ninja type.: -)
     
  20. Steve FS

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    I can't agree with you.

    I can't tell you how many gay (and bicurious) men have messaged me and asked me to be their submissive Asian fuckboy.
     
    #20 Steve FS, Dec 24, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2015