To care or not to care

On the road to comming out I noticed something that has been bothering me to a degree the more I think about it. Its that phrase "I dont care that your gay." Everyone who I have come out to has said that. Sure they have been cool about it but whenever I try to bring up the subject again its an "I don't care that your gay" attitude which comes off as I don't care about you. I have also heard of horror stories (Ex) where someone has come out to a friend and they love the fact that their friend is gay and their friendship turns into a freak show where they are constantly being paraded around as the "homosexual" and not as "my friend".

It had me wondering.

Which of the 2 ends of the pole is worse when comming out?

Having someone not care at all or having someone care too much?

[punkrocker99]

i think having someone make a big deal out of it is much much worse because honestly i don't think that your sexuality defines you at all, and it's just in people's heads that suddenly their friend is "different" because they're gay. So i would much rather have them not care at all because then it wouldn't affect our friendship.

[Phantasma]

That's a hard one to choose.

I'd want some kind of reaction bigger than "Oh, okay" just as an acknowledgment of all the thought and emotion I'd have gone through reaching that point of acceptance and sharing.. but I wouldn't want them to freak out and start parading me as "the gay friend" because then that's all I become, just some gay guy.

If I absolutely had to choose though I'd rather it be an 'Oh, okay' instead of something blown way out of proportion.

[Dazed]

just about all the reactions i got were.."we knew" or " okay..your point?"
haha it didnt bother me ..to me it was like my friends were saying its okay youre still you. if they had made a big deal i would felt weird.

[littledinosaurs]

Its all about the person who comes out. Like if they are fine with them saying things about them being gay all the time, then i guess thats better, or maybe they like the fact that the person doesn't think it matters in the slightest.

[Starshine16]

I would much rather people not make a big deal out of it.My best friend's reaction was that it didn't matter to her if I was Bi.I was definitely relieved to hear that because then I knew that our friendship wouldn't be negatively affected by my coming out.

[Courtneyyy]

I would rather they say I don't care.

I think that the phrase I don't care is just the easiest thing they people can say. It gets the point across that it doesn't matter to them if you're straight or gay. Altho coming out is muchhhhh harder for the person coming out than the person being come out to, it's still a little awkward for that person, especially if they had no idea. Most people aren't so great with words when they're surprised or taken off guard.

[BeautifulStranger]

Originally Posted by Legnaj

"I dont care that your gay."?

That doesn't mean that they don't care about you.
It means that it doesn't matter who you hug and kiss romantically, or who you spend the night with.
It means that your sexuality is such a small part of you that it won't change how much they love and care for you.

If they didn't care for you, they'd stop calling or talking to you.
You'd never hear from them again.