I Hate Being Bi :(

I don't think that people who are bisexual are the only ones that feel this way. I've known many gay men and lesbians who've run into the same problem - falling for someone of the same sex, only to find out that they're either taken or straight. Maybe it's not the sexuality that you hate, but perhaps the rejection and disappointment?

 

I'd like to be bi, or to have complete bisexuality at any rate. Wider playing field, innate Hetero~camo, what's not to love?

 

Straight people, the curse of all queer people since the dawn of time.

 

Lol well said.

To the OP, a lot of my girl friends are bi. Lesbians have viewed them with considerable mistrust in much the same way gay guys often view bi guys. Men are usually more than open to the idea of a bi girlfriend because potential threesome and all that.

 

I love being bi. It's more fun lol. (As opposed to when I thought I was straight haha)
As for your peoblem, I haven't had that issue yet, so I can't relate but I can see how that would suck.

 

Someone needs a hug. (*hug*)

 

In general, I really love the fact that I am bisexual...I love the open-mindedness and diversity of experiences it opens me to.

But the experience itself of being bisexual can be very difficult. My issues seem to be different from yours though (although I have had the experience of crushing on straight women and gay men). Overridingly, for me, the problem revolves around society's extreme views about monogamy, when I feel pulled to experience sex with at least two groups of people. (For me, at least,) It's not like just because I'm with a female partner, the desire for men goes away...after 30 years with a woman, it feels like something important in my life is missing...and yet I still enjoy sex with my partner, and it would feel stupid to leave her and end a remarkable relationship just for that one reason (especially when I don't see myself ever forming a relationship with a man that is as deep and satisfying as the one I currently have).

And all monogamous society (straight or queer) has to say to me is "shut up and be satisfied with what you have...everyone is attracted to people outside their relationship, and if they are good decent people, they just shut that out." I acknowledge the similarity of that situation...but most people aren't denying half of their sexuality to be true to their partner! Nor do I buy that "good decent people" implies or is implied by "monogamous", nor that polyamorous people cannot be good and decent and fully committed to one or more partners.

So for me, the issues of bisexuality and polyamory feel inextricably intertwined. And yet society's teachings and my childhood upbringing and baggage around monogamy seem about as strong and difficult to break from as many LGB people find to be the case about homosexuality.

 

Being bi is frustrating because I feel like I should be able to exclusively be attracted to one person, and I can't seem to do that.

 

Hello,

Do you hate being bisexual? Or do you hate the way people [including some LGBT members] are treating bisexuality?

 

Ohhh hey sweetie! I'm sorry you feel that way. I find being bisexual incredibly fun, and I enjoy it. :3

There are things that are hard about it, but I wouldn't take that over the boring security (in my mind anyway) of being heterosexual. My biggest gripe is that sometimes gay and lesbian folks don't treat my like I'm in the community. They treat me like I'm not fully aware of myself, not courageous enough to "be all the way out," or most insultingly, like I have "straight privilege."

It's hard sometimes to feel that lack of community. I think things are improving on that front, though I'll probably always say that my best friends are other bisexuals.

<3

Adrienne

 

I get what your saying. We all get that and it sucks.

I hate being me at all. I have no capacity for talking about my true emotions without pretending that Im not serious at all in case someone laughs anyway, and having known the person for like a year at least, and having them start the conversation... So yeah, I haven't expressed anything to any crush I've had ever, and I'm as closeted as a wardrobe warehouse, which makes it worse because I want the queer people I know to suddenly notice me like I do them because I have no courage to approach them but it doesn't happen because they have no idea.

So if your actually taking enough action to be rejected and your out to everyone but your family, you're 10 steps ahead of me on all fronts! The cycle will end eventually!

 

You do realize gay and straight people are not exclusively attracted to their partners either right? They're still attracted to other people too. They're suppressing their desires just as much for their partners' sake.

 

I feel you. I'm pan and no matter what sex I'm crushing on I have yet to have any success with either of them.

 

Yes, but they don't have to deny or repress half of their sexuality to do that.

 

Lol not really. Heteros won't date you because you're too gay. Or they see bisexuals as sluts/cheaters. Homosexuals won't date you because you're too straight. "You'll probably leave them for someone of the opposite sex" Obviously not everyone is going to agree ith these statements but the dating pool isn't bigger.

 

I hate being gay, join the club

 

There is a certain degree of hating being bi- I agree, too. I find that we're often overlooked, instead called gay/les. Sometimes it just annoys me = =" But overall, remember that all sexualites face problems in looking for a partner- same sex or not.

Though...sometimes I feel that when it comes to dating/love, its also pretty hard to find someone for the long term = = like what tr1tional said.

 

Wider the rejection field, innate sexuality erasure/denial.

Fortunately both sentences are silly stereotypes that don't correspond with reality a 100% of the time.