I Got Called a Faggot in my Sociology Class

Awww *hugs* Its a tough situation to be in. I visit Detroit often & have been to Flint a few times. It's a very blue collar area. Union Democrats, but kinda conservative.

Anyways, at your age I would have frozen too. I was (still am) rather shy & especially at 16 I was pretty insecure. Nowadays I would have gone nuclear on him over a rant like that, but at the time I was nowhere near prepared to respond like that, and effectively out myself to the class. Now that I am out & secure in.my sexuality, I would have called him on his shit immediately.

 

Do you have an adviser who you can speak to about this situation?

At least at my high school, advisers helped students in many ways. Students can discuss whatever problems they're having. Advisers can also change students' schedules.

It might be still early in the semester, so changing to a different sociology section, or even taking another elective (if doing so meets curriculum requirements) are options to consider if available.

 

Aww *hugs* I never been called a faggot, so, I don't know how it feels. But, I hate that word.

 

PlattyRex - I'm sorry you had to endure this in your classroom. I think everyone here on EC can emphasize with you and the position in which you were placed. I, too, have suffered from depression and anxiety (for years) and I know what you may be going through there. It helps to talk to someone about this....you do not need to stand alone.

Echoing what others said, I would definitely talk to the school administration about this bullshit that's happening to you. You do NOT and should NOT have to take it.

The bullying which impacted me the most was certainly not as egregious as this but was more subtle (and not so subtle) as it was in my workplace. I was not "out" at the time and rumors and ridicule followed me through most of my tenure at the company, which I eventually left.

A couple compliments for you.

First, you articulated this well and by doing so I can tell you're an intelligent guy. I believe you will rise above this incident, and remember it's cool to take the high road.

Second, I really like the quote at the bottom of your page:
- If you're reading this, you're a wonderful and beautiful person. - because, frankly, just reading that brings a smile to my face and sometimes I need to hear that I AM a wonderful and beautiful person! So, thank you!

 

Hey, Platty... It's ok to feel like you do, and your teacher seems to take her job seriously, so the blame is on him for repeating like a parrot whatever bullshit he thinks is edgy. Don't know if he is a pothead or whatever, but it's clear he must be on some junk... Still sociology class is about talking, discussing ideas, so even if what he said was bullshit, he had a right to speak up that bullshit.

However the system went against him this time. He got nothing of his five minutes of pathetic fame, but a punishment. Now let him feel all edgy on his own, on detention. It takes a lot of courage for someone like you, on your circumstances, to stand up and speak freely his mind... And to not end up punished, so you were also able to articulate yourself on a respectful manner. You were brilliant.

You won this time, and you know it. I take my hat off to you. High school is a box where many different characters come in contact, and it's no wonder you find such characters there. Don't waste your time on them, just let them be. I remember getting almost physical with somebody who tried to justify genocide and war, and at some point it became a shouting competition... But do you think I would have been able back then, at the school I went to and under my circumstances, to even dare to defend gender expression? No, they never discussed the topic, but still I know I wouldn't have been half as brave as you were.

Believe or not, I'm sure you helped someone on your class as you stood up and speak up your mind. The guy helped no one. He just went on this bitchin' trip of pseudo patriotism and ended up on detention.

What goes around, comes around... You'll see.

 

In England and Wales, it is a legal obligation for schools to report hate speech to the police. You have my 100% sympathies with this, I hope it can be dealt with.

 

High school kids can be very mean sometimes, a lot of the time it has to do with what's going on in their own lives, in which they choose to let their frustrations out in a bad way, on people who may or may not be vulnerable, just to make themselves feel a bit better. I don't expect you to feel sorry for him, especially after what he did, but maybe this will help you understand that what he's saying may not be about what you said or what you believe in, but from his own personal issues.

With that being said, maybe consider talking to a school counsellor if you're not already. They're there and ready to help you with whatever you may need to talk about. Also, I want you to know that you are not the problem. You have a special place here on earth for a reason, that reason will come to you within time. Know that you are a good person, a nice person and that you deserve to be happy. I hope that you are alright and that things are okay with you and the situation.

 

I'm not sure if this will be good advice, but this is the way I see it:

Why care what he thinks? He's a NOBODY! I know words hurt, but part of not letting it bother you is to know that his words mean nothing, absolutely nothing! He doesn't know you personally. He's just some random guy who plays no important part in your life. So why let it bother you?

I've been bullied too at your age. I know the feeling and it sucks. High school isn't fun. You're constantly stuck being around close-minded, immature assholes for at least 7-8 hrs a day. People at that age like to pick on others who are different, and that's exactly what that guy did to you. To him, anything that's 'different' is a threat, so that's why he called you that word.

I can't stress this enough though: There is nothing wrong with being different. You are simply being yourself and if others don't like it, then they can f*** off. They don't matter! You live your life the way you want to; It's not theirs.

Also, ask yourself these questions:
Are you at school to please him? No.
Does his opinion matter? (Since all that nonsense he said was not factual, no matter how much he perceived it to be. He was just making an uninformed opinion, nothing else) No.
Does he even matter, at all, in your life? No.

So, with all that being said, just continue being you! Don't worry what he or anybody else thinks. It's his own problem if he doesn't like you or other gay people. He's also lived a pretty sheltered life if he thinks gay people are trying to intoxicate the minds of young people. His entire response was laughable...just saying :lol:

 

That garden variety idiot has never had a genuine thought pass from one neuron to the next by the sound of it. The best revenge you can get on him is to succeed in life without the influence of his poisonous rhetoric.

People like him are why I tended to keep my mouth shut in high school. X.X

 

Well for starters, it sounds like your teacher handled that situation like a champ. That's pretty cool.

Anyways, this was no doubt unpleasant so sorry to hear about it. He's clearly a bigot and you shouldnt worry one bit about what he thinks.

That being said, the point he made is something that a lot of less bigoted (yet still conservative leaning) people might actually agree with. Scary as it is. In particular, other straight males in the class who can't relate to the way you act. It reminds me of a lot of dudes I knew back in Catholic school, or even now in the Army.

Personally I've always been surrounded by conservative people, who would think things like this, and my friends have always been straight males. One piece of advice I would give you is to try to fit in with them to some degree. I'm not saying play a character, or change who you are... there's nothing wrong with being yourself. But let's say you brush up on sports a bit, wear an NFL tshirt every now and then, a rock band tshirt, or stuff like that. Don't change your whole persona overnight but you know what i mean! It's a survival mechanism.

In other words, try to gain an insight into your more conservative peers and use that insight to make a connection. What kinds of things do they like to talk about? Talk about those things with them whenever you can. Doing so will make you appear more "normal" to them, and hopefully make them realize "yeah, he's a little bit different... but we have things in common and we can still be bros". Who knows, maybe you'll gain a few unlikely friends who will stick up for you if this sort of deal happens again. I credit assimilation as the biggest reason my straight friends accept me for being gay.

Anyways, a lot of people will probably bash me for saying something like this. I usually tend to piss people off on here somehow. But honestly, bridging the gap with people who are different than you is a great step toward acceptance. It's something to think about.

 

A lot of the advice here has been really great. This kid was spewing vitriol, his words have no relation to anything resembling credibility, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. *hugs* The fact that you stood up to him will give others the courage to do the same in the future. It makes a difference.

I second those who say this should never have happened, the teacher made a half-assed effort but not enough in my opinion, and I would take this to the principal.

edit: I also wanted to say that I've been in that situation before. Guys calling every other guy in the hall a homo/fag/etc. Girls saying they could never be friends with a lesbian because "she'd try to sleep with me, eww!" Even one of my teachers made homophobic comments, apparently never considering that maybe there were queer kids in the classroom. Or maybe she just didn't care.

Demand respect. That guy will either grow up or remain ignorant, but no matter what you're worthy of respect.

 

Yeah... England is great...

I don't know whether I should be sympathetic and try and give you condolences or tell you to get a thicker skin, so both'll do. Here's a cookie and some hot chocolate.

 

first of all hugs for you ^^.

itll be easier if you have friends around you to deal with your emotional trauma. as others said talking to someone who you really think can understand you can help you a lot through this. when i was in high school (well im not gay/bi that time) i have this gay friend who is openly gay he talk like gay and act like gay which is doesn't matter to me he is fun and kind person. then one of our classmates bullied him kinda forgot what he said to my gay friend i really feel sorry for him and cant stand watching him to get bullied so i stood up and shout to fuck off it was like im on rage and all i want is to punch his face which i almost did but our classmates came to stop me. that whole week i sit next to him just to make sure he wont get bullied again (well i scold a lot for changing sitting arrangement LOLS) because the day after that bullying happened he always look so sad, terrified, lonely and depressed , i told him if that shit start it again there will be no words ill just punch him to death. my gay friend really appreciate it and back to how he used to be the funny and kind gay guy. after that no one in the class try to talk shit or bully him. it also helps when our adviser talk about what happened in the class and threatened all of us including our parents (our adviser is a devil who cares) that whoever start it will be punish of suspension or kick out.
just be with your friends to get over it. they love and will support you. and for that jerk well what can i say just show him you are not affected whenever he is around.
another hug for you.

 

I am so sorry, Plattyrex. I was bullied in jr. high and high school where I was called gay. I was even intentionally misgendered in the 5th grade. The best thing you can do is find a true friend who will hear you out. Don't keep it bottled up inside and don't let them see your fear. You can be strong. And shame on the teacher for blowing it off.

 

I was also never called a faggot but my principal who helped me through coming out explained it. Just ignore the bully as bullies feed off reactions to have fun so if you ignore them they would get bored of bullying you because they will not have any reaction to feed on.

Good Luck,
Gay1234

 

Aw I'm sorry hon that this happened to you.

I had a similar situation that happened about 2 weeks ago. This kid in my class kept teasing another kid because he just recently came out as gay. He never called him any names, but it was still hurtful. Indirectly, it hurt me too. After class, I talked to that poor kid who got teased. I made sure he knew that there were people who did care about him. I am one of them. I would have told you the same if I was there. (*hug*)