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Why do people lie about having sex?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Agent 47, Jan 19, 2016.

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  1. Agent 47

    Agent 47
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    So today a friend at school got asked how many girls he'd slept with and he said two. I know tht if he had had sex he would brag about it. I know why LGBT+ people hide who they are but why lie about weather he had sex it just seems weird and unnecessary? Perhaps I just don't get people.
     
    #1 Agent 47, Jan 19, 2016
  2. Nordland

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    He's probably just trying to sound cool.
     
    #2 Nordland, Jan 19, 2016
  3. imnotreallysure

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    Lying about having sex in high school is.. standard. Nearly everyone is talking shit.
     
    #3 imnotreallysure, Jan 19, 2016
  4. ForNarnia

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    If you're a virgin, you're automatically some kind of undesirable freak. If you've had sex, you're a smut/fuckboy/player/whore. You can't win :/
     
    #4 ForNarnia, Jan 19, 2016
  5. Psaurus918

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    Because people have this weird obsession with sex and people feel the need to brag about things they obsess over. High school is the worse.

    You have no idea how many people are shocked to find out I'm a still a virgin at 26 and how mad they get when I say I don't care and I'm waiting for the right person.

    I'm not against people having sex, people can do it 5 times a day for all I care but there is nothing to brag about
     
    #5 Psaurus918, Jan 19, 2016
  6. XenaxGabby

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    I find people get weird about it. Like, what is wrong with you weird. Or they think you are really religious. It's annoying.
     
    #6 XenaxGabby, Jan 19, 2016
  7. Andrew99

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    Ugh I know right? And sometimes when they lie they're not even good liars. I've met so many obviously fake stories but as ForNarnia said you can't win.
     
    #7 Andrew99, Jan 19, 2016
  8. Ryu

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    Because 14 year old all of duty players believe that sex is the answer to everything and makes you a better person.

    Note: it isn't.
     
    #8 Ryu, Jan 19, 2016
  9. Agent 47

    Agent 47
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    I'm going to ask some other friends about it because its so clearly false and he wonders why I don't trust him when he lies like this. Also I don't like that he was asked how many girls not how many people.
     
    #9 Agent 47, Jan 19, 2016
  10. eMei

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    It's a reputation ting, I guess. If they want to lie, good for them.
     
    #10 eMei, Jan 19, 2016
  11. Chiroptera

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    Sex has lots of cultural things involved, and not only the biological part (and even only the biological part could explain this, if we consider the alpha leaders fighting for partners, etc. ).

    You are not alone, people are hard to understand.

    On a small side note, it is nice to find 47 here! Amazing games! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #11 Chiroptera, Jan 19, 2016
  12. Chip

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    It has its roots (as do almost all insecurities) in shame.

    When people don't feel worthy of belonging... they "hustle" for their worthiness. This means lying, or pretending to fit in with a group they don't really connect with, or acting like they don't care when they're left out of something, or any of a thousand other things.

    And adolescence is a time when *everyone* feels left out, and like they don't belong, at some point or another, because so much is changing... the shift from childhood toward adulthood, and the desire to "belong." (This is also why people do dumb things because of overt or subtle peer pressure.)

    The problem is, just confronting someone doesn't help because that just brings out more shame. The antidote to shame is empathy and connection... which, in turn, requires making yourself vulnerable. Not easy for teens, especially teen boys.

    One approach could be to sit with him, alone, and say "Hey, I know that sometimes I feel like I need to fit in, and I say things that may not really be the truth to try and impress others or to feel cool. Ever feel that way?"... and if you're lucky, he'll open up and share the same feelings... and when that connection of empathy is made, that's where it becomes easier to be fully open and authentic with each other.

    Once that connection is made... you could also say something like, "You know, I know it's hard to be authentic all the time, but trust is really important, and when people are untruthful around me, it doesn't make me feel like they're trustworthy. I try really hard to be open and honest all the time, and it would mean a lot if you could do the same with me."

    That's not judging, making him defensive, or making him wrong... it's simply asking for a mutual connection built on trust.

    It won't always work, but many people, given that opportunity, will appreciate it and take it.
     
    #12 Chip, Jan 19, 2016
  13. Nyanodesu

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    Maybe he actually did have sex? you were the one who asked him.... if he just randomly was like "I've had sex with two guys" then I'd be suspicious.
     
    #13 Nyanodesu, Jan 19, 2016
  14. JiminyJordy

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    If the guy strikes you as a braggart the amount of partners is probably more like 22. The more they gloat, the sleazier they sound. Discussing my sexual exploits would be the last thing I do in a classroom setting.
     
    #14 JiminyJordy, Jan 19, 2016
  15. state-champs

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    Peer pressure. Some people can't handle ridicule from other people if they find out that they're still a virgin or whatever. Usually guys tend to do this so they don't feel inferior to other males. I don't see why but that's how it is at the moment. I think that we need to ditch the idea that men need to have sex before a certain age and if they're older than that age then something is wrong with them. That's obviously not the case. We also need to ditch the idea that you have to brag how many people you've fucked because no one really cares except for your buddies. Again this usually pertains to guys but women can be guilty of this too. Although it's very uncommon.
     
    #15 state-champs, Feb 8, 2016
  16. sunshine360

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    Because sex is an obsession of ours and we, as humans, naturally want to fit in our social circles. I'm not saying I agree with it but that's just how things are. Sex is another one of the bragging rights we have.
     
    #16 sunshine360, Feb 14, 2016
  17. Browncoat

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    Because there is often great social pressure to do so, for some reason.
     
    #17 Browncoat, Feb 14, 2016
  18. Pret Allez

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    Because virginity is extremely stigmatized.
     
    #18 Pret Allez, Feb 14, 2016
  19. Andrew99

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    I know one girl who lied about having herpes.
     
    #19 Andrew99, Feb 14, 2016
  20. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    She may not have herpes, but she does have herps.
     
    #20 Pret Allez, Feb 14, 2016
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