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Has a homophobe ever pressured you to gay-bash?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Driftr, Jan 22, 2016.

  1. Driftr

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    I'd like to know specifically from people in the closet, or from any out person who experienced this in the closet because I know for a fact an out person now would put the homophobe on blast on the spot lol, but for closeted people ....i mean do I really have to go over their circumstance?


    So for people in (or back when you were in) the closet, has it ever happened to you that a homophobe that you know (or knew) out of nowhere starts absolutely trashing LGBT people and then asked your opinion or pressured or cued you (even slightly), expecting that you'd return the same enthusiasm?

    How did you react? Were you able to hide how offended you were well?
     
  2. Euler

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    Well, a friend of mine (A) who I think suspects I'm gay started bashing gays in a dinner table. His dad and brother (B) who are also my friends were also present. They are Persians so it's little difficult to say what they really think.

    Anyways. He started lamenting how Iran is right to execute gays and stuff. When he expected my input I started by saying that my sister is lesbian. He responded by saying that lesbians are OK. When he pressed me for opinion on gays I told him that personally I don't understand all the fuzz about gays. They don't bother me and that I don't understand why would I have to be interested in what gays are doing. I also added that if we started executing people who someone doesn't like there would be no one left on the planet once we get started.

    A didn't seem to be serious about his opinions and my friend (B) later told me that his brother is not serious as he has openly gay friends and so on. I kind of felt like he wanted to test if I got upset or something. The whole conversation was so surreal because me and B sleep together (as in sharing a bed) in their house under the same blanket and are practically forced to spoon to fit the mattress.

    Anyways, I think my approach would work even in a serious conversation. Just ask why you should be interested in someone else's sex life. If the person doesn't get the hint you could also wonder aloud why would he take so much interest in gays. I mean that's kind of gay.
     
  3. JiminyJordy

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    I grew up in a bashing-friendly environment. An environment where it was acceptable to engage in expressions like "queer bait" or "that's gay." The young boys who joked around in such a manner (through my eyes and perception) were often the ones who were revered and respected more. I still get the sense that my brothers who are married to women are treated better for this very reason.

    Did I join the gay-bashing? Sure, I did. Societal and peer pressures kinda forced me to. Do I wish the bigotry would have been excluded from my childhood? Yes, it might have made my childhood more pleasant.

    To answer your question though, I don't have much experience with the LGBT community. However, if I ever find myself in that sort of awkward situation, I wouldn't be able to hide my feelings well. I would be irate.
     
    #3 JiminyJordy, Jan 22, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2016
  4. Aspen

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    All the damn time. My mom has a special talent for turning any innocent conversation into an opportunity to be a bigot. Gay-bashing is no exception. Most of the time I just sit stone-faced, but there's always pressure to agree with her. My grandpa, unfortunately, has recently picked up the habit too. Usually my mom is good with ranting at me without expecting a response, but he actively looks to me to join in.
     
  5. Euler

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    Aspen, I think you could ask your mom why does she seem to obsess about gays so much. Why would it be any interest to her what gays are doing? If she starts with the gay marriage stuff ask her if she believes in freedom of contract ie that basically people should be free to make the kind of contracts that they want to without interference from outsiders.
     
  6. imnotreallysure

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    No, never. How absurd.
     
  7. Andrew99

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  8. BradThePug

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    Before I came out, I had a lot of "friends" that would pressure me to gay bash. Once I came out the first time as being a lesbian, then stopped talking to me. Also, my former church was very homophobic, so there was a lot of that there are well.
     
  9. baconpox

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    Yeah, I used to have homophobic friends before I realized my sexuality/gender. I told them plainly that I disagreed with them. They continued to insult gay peope, I continued to disagree, but they didn't get mad at me. We just accepted that we didn't see eye to eye.
     
  10. GayPugs

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    My mom once stopped me from watching a music video with two guys kissing in it. She was like, "Uuuuuh, don't watch that. Her songs are cool but the music videos are....bad." I was like, "I like this..." (I was still in the closet then but sorta out) that was the closest to anything gay I'd ever been at that point and her comment was the closest to gay-bashing I've ever experienced. My mom is not homophobic, though.
     
  11. Natasha Elyssa

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    They've tried, but have not succeeded.
     
  12. gravechild

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    Unfortunately, when I was living as a straight male. I did it to fit in, be accepted, and not have suspicion turned on me, since there were already gay rumors floating around, thanks to someone I now suspect might have been gay, himself.

    Very conservative environment, small town, Catholic upbringing. I'm not proud of what I did, considering how little it helped, but the alternative would have required a tremendous amount of self-esteem, a positive and healthy environment, and knowledge.

    Today, I either shut someone down, or walk away/ignore them.
     
  13. Jellal

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    My uncle did this to both me and my sister. It was really uncomfortable.
     
  14. EmiTheTiger

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    Most of my family except surprisingly my mamaw who I think suspects something (hell I already know that most of my family do I've been questioned on more than one occasion)
     
  15. bookreader

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    No, never, why would anyone do that? I don't fall under peer pressure.
     
  16. kageshiro

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    I'm assuming most of you don't mean literally, as in with a baseball bat, which is what I always interpreted 'gay bashing' as...

    Honestly, I don't think I've done either type, but I can't remember.
     
  17. Kira

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    I can't even list how many family members did, I don't even remember their names anyway since it's been so long. Short term memory loss factored in too. My ex-stepdad was definitely crazy about it. :dry:
     
  18. Reciprocal

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    Yes, but I was really young and didn't know better.
     
  19. Quem

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    Never. If anything, homophobes pressure me to homophobe-bash.
     
  20. QueerTransEnby

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    Yes, and I did. My own teachers in school would gay bash all the time in conversation, and I would join in to try to keep my cover and as part of my denial.

    I didn't realize the meaning of the term when one of my classmates asked another, "you want to go gay bashing tonight?" in a half-joking/tough guy way. I think I blew my cover because I thought it meant a party with gay people and said, "that would be cool." They said, "No ___(my last name), it's not what you think we are talking about." Awwwwkwaaarrrd.