So in the last week or so I've had some meetings with one of my university LGBT officers, and the other day I went to one of the first events. It was really good, and everyone was really nice, but I was absolutely terrified! Also, they're all so open and happy and confident in who they are that I felt a bit lame being so closeted and afraid of it all . Also though, I don't feel able to do any of the social events around town with them or anything in case anyone sees me, and I haven't told anyone that I went, or that I've been contacting them. It makes me feel a bit bad - as though they're my dirty little secret or something - but I suppose that it's still early days! I mean, there was a time when I wouldn't even admit it to myself, let alone actually go out of my way to talk to someone about it... But anyways, there isn't much point to this post other than to keep you updated on my life (I have been so so busy the last few months that I haven't been able to come on here as often as I used to - so annoying!). Still have good days and bad days, and still don't know what the hell is going on. But I've got friends and EC, so not the end of the world either. Hope all my fellow-ECers are well!
Hey ccdd. You're not alone on the closet front, I guess thats what EC is for. I've managed to get past the admitting to myself stage. But on the coming out stage you are way ahead of me...I mean 27(ish) is bloody amazing progress. When you get more comfortable with yourself then I guess coming out around your uni town will be easier. Dont expect it to all happen at once...I guess thats my problem...I just want people to know already rather than me having to tell them. Keep going, dont give up and dont feel bad. I'm 100% sure the LBGT society understand that people come out in different ways.
Hi ccdd. Don't get down on yourself, that's a massive achievement. Don't compare yourself to others who are out, you've made great progress and you should be proud of that. I wouldn't even consider going to LGBT events, I'm so scared. I'm sure the LGBT group would understand how nervous you are about the whole thing and are willing to let you go at your own pace.
Hi ccdd! When I went to my first social gathering with the LGBT group I was nervous as hell. I was afraid that someone who knows me will see me. I couldn't relax at all. They were talking about everything and weren't hiding their sexual identities either. Looking at them sitting around the table I thought to myself how confident they were. It took me a couple of times going to the events and going into their office, before feeling differently and not feeling nervous or awkward. hey will understand when you feel nervous. Everybody at the social gatherings were nervous at some point. You will be able to share with your friends at some point. There is nothing wrong with keeping that part of your life to yourself. If you want, you could try just throwing into a conversation....."oh by the way, I joined this really cool LGBT group on campus. They are awesome!" I assume that the group has an office or safe space on campus where you can hang out. Why not go there, introduce yourself and join them for meetings? From my own experience, joining a LGBT group has been really helpful. Just being able to talk with others who went through what I was going through helped a lot. Being part of the LGBT group might help you to become a lot more comfortable with yourself too.
