Is making male friends hard for gay guys? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

ricoca · 5th Feb 2009, 03:04 AM

Does the fact that you're gay makes it hard for you to get male friends?

I never doubt my communication skill, but somehow I clam up when I see a guy. Even if he's trying to be nice, it's hard for me!

What are your views on this matter?

davo-man · 5th Feb 2009, 03:15 AM

Ive never found it difficult. Like, I enjoy being friends with girls so that I can swoon over Ewan McGregor and watch flicks like Moulin Rouge and Centre Stage, but I like being friends with guys so I can go out for pub meals and stuff...I dunno why, but even though I get crushes on my straight mates, I'm able to divorce that feeling from my friendship, if that makes sense...Like, I dont let the crush get in the way of being good friends with them

xequar · 5th Feb 2009, 08:10 AM

I've never had problems making male friends, and as a point of fact, most of my friends are male. I go into it knowing that I'm not wanting (like a relationship) and go from there.

Steve · 5th Feb 2009, 08:28 AM

depends at my last school i had more female friends then male and now i have more male

myra · 5th Feb 2009, 09:59 AM

I dunno how it is for them, but for me I feel weird making female friends.

BeautifulStranger · 5th Feb 2009, 10:27 AM

It was hard at first, but now I find that guys are generally better friends.

My male friends are generally very up-front and confrontational, which is a lot nicer than what some of my female friends do.
My theory is this... since women have vaginas, they also have drama to fill the void.

lodiug · 5th Feb 2009, 10:35 AM

For me it's a little hard... Most guys at my school are all macho gangsta acting and I can't really see myself hanging out with them. Especially when they start to talk about sex and girls, I always want to walk away.......

sdc91 · 5th Feb 2009, 10:35 AM

At my old school, about 80% of my friends were girls, but here it's about 60% guys. I don't have a problem being friends with guys I don't find hot, but when I think a guy is hot I can't even say hi to him because I get really self conscious.

5th Feb 2009, 10:58 AM

Yeah I have the same issue. Guy's got mad at me becusae it was always easy for me to talk to girls. When it comes to talking to any guy I get quiet as well. I think the reason is cuz in the back of my head I'm wondering "would they still talk to me with they knew I was gay" idk. Though its hard for me to talk to them, I still do talk to them. My bestfriends are guys and we get along great. That vagina quote is sooooooooooo true.

Adam · 5th Feb 2009, 11:12 AM

Most of my friends are guys, but I'm not out yet so it might change.

ricoca · 5th Feb 2009, 11:14 AM

Thanks for the input

I really appreciate it.

myra · 5th Feb 2009, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wonderwall

My theory is this... since women have vaginas, they also have drama to fill the void.

I love it! lol. its so true!

pianomike · 5th Feb 2009, 11:51 AM

I've never found it hard to make friends with guys or girls. I do have a slight amount more girls as friends than guys....hmmm i wonder why?

TheRoof · 5th Feb 2009, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lodiug

For me it's a little hard... Most guys at my school are all macho gangsta acting and I can't really see myself hanging out with them. Especially when they start to talk about sex and girls, I always want to walk away.......

that's exactly how i feel. somehow i find a lot of guys really immature.

5th Feb 2009, 02:41 PM

I just feel more comfortable around girls. I really am not that good....am terrible fail epically at making conversation when I don't know someone, and I find that girls are more likely to start a conversation than guys. I also don't share a lot of the stereotypical interests as heterosexual males, like American football, cars, and women. But I'm not sure that it's because I'm gay; rather, I think it's just my personality (which are not mutually exclusive to each other).

joss22 · 5th Feb 2009, 02:54 PM

I do not find it hard to make friends who are guys, in fact, I probably have more guy friends than girls, even though I can be more open to the girls. I easily converse with complete strangers which helps, I never really feel afraid speaking to people, guys or girls. It is not so much what gender the person is, but who they are, for instance none of my friends are really jocks, they are all the geeks and people who follow their own path rather than conform with societal standards.

Bryan · 5th Feb 2009, 02:58 PM

I usually dont have a problem, but I deff have more female friends than male friends, but I am fairly effeminate, so that could just be me.

littledinosaurs · 5th Feb 2009, 03:47 PM

Most of my friends are lesbians.... so they aren't like typical girls.
I used to have guys as friends but they were all *ssholes so i stopped hanging out with them. And the straight girls were *ssholes too so i ditched them too. I personally think my town is just full of terrible people.

**Maddy** · 5th Feb 2009, 07:06 PM

As a lesbian, I have trouble making female friends. A lot of straight girls who know my sexuality are very cautious around me - when I came out, my friends stopped hugging me, touching me, eventually even talking to me.

5th Feb 2009, 07:09 PM

Like I do with most people, if they want to be my friend then sure but otherwise I will not go out of my way to make male friends. I despise like 95% of the male gender so I'm not going out of my way to be friends with them.

5th Feb 2009, 03:04 AM	#1
ricoca EC Addict Full Member Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 20 Posts: 647 Join Date: Nov 2008	Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Does the fact that you're gay makes it hard for you to get male friends? I never doubt my communication skill, but somehow I clam up when I see a guy. Even if he's trying to be nice, it's hard for me! What are your views on this matter? __________________ i can never fit into any crowd, wanna know why?

5th Feb 2009, 03:15 AM	#2
davo-man Aspiring RENThead Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Completely Out (YAY) Location: Australia Age: 22 Posts: 3,709 Join Date: Nov 2006	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Ive never found it difficult. Like, I enjoy being friends with girls so that I can swoon over Ewan McGregor and watch flicks like Moulin Rouge and Centre Stage, but I like being friends with guys so I can go out for pub meals and stuff...I dunno why, but even though I get crushes on my straight mates, I'm able to divorce that feeling from my friendship, if that makes sense...Like, I dont let the crush get in the way of being good friends with them __________________ The Joker Rules all.... TwoFace comes a close second! My Friends are the best people in the world Ross: Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian. Susan: Well, you know, you have to take a course. Otherwise they don't let you do it.

5th Feb 2009, 08:10 AM	#3
xequar Diapered and collared! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I have "The Gay." :) Out Status: Loud and proud! Location: Detroit area, Michigan Age: 30 Posts: 1,746 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I've never had problems making male friends, and as a point of fact, most of my friends are male. I go into it knowing that I'm not wanting (like a relationship) and go from there. __________________

5th Feb 2009, 08:28 AM	#4
Steve EC's Soldier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sargeant sexual Out Status: whoever asks Location: Born in australia, but now living some where else Age: 21 Posts: 2,273 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? depends at my last school i had more female friends then male and now i have more male __________________ Soldier " there is no room for that in my pocklet" commander " if there is room in your heart then there in your pocket" Soldier " i cant fit my gf in there" -r " have you tried ? until you try you dont know"

5th Feb 2009, 09:59 AM	#5
myra EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: BTown, Ohio Age:* 22 Posts: 449 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I dunno how it is for them, but for me I feel weird making female friends. __________________ David's and Bryan's #1 Fag Hag!

5th Feb 2009, 10:27 AM	#6
BeautifulStranger GaGa's Knight in Flaming Armor Full Member Gender: 여왕 Orientation: Boys Boys Boys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Jukjeon-dong, Yongin-si Age: 20 Posts: 1,823 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? It was hard at first, but now I find that guys are generally better friends. My male friends are generally very up-front and confrontational, which is a lot nicer than what some of my female friends do. My theory is this... since women have vaginas, they also have drama to fill the void. __________________ Co-Founder of the 'Sailor Moon Made Me Gay' club EC's official Diva Extraordinaire Future 'Mr. Kellan Lutz' "Since women have vaginas, they also have drama to fill the void."

5th Feb 2009, 10:35 AM	#7
lodiug EC Addict Full Member Posts: 500 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? For me it's a little hard... Most guys at my school are all macho gangsta acting and I can't really see myself hanging out with them. Especially when they start to talk about sex and girls, I always want to walk away.......

5th Feb 2009, 10:35 AM	#8
sdc91 Coop d'état Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Berlin, Germany Age: 21 Posts: 1,607 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? At my old school, about 80% of my friends were girls, but here it's about 60% guys. I don't have a problem being friends with guys I don't find hot, but when I think a guy is hot I can't even say hi to him because I get really self conscious.

5th Feb 2009, 10:58 AM	#9
Legnaj Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Yeah I have the same issue. Guy's got mad at me becusae it was always easy for me to talk to girls. When it comes to talking to any guy I get quiet as well. I think the reason is cuz in the back of my head I'm wondering "would they still talk to me with they knew I was gay" idk. Though its hard for me to talk to them, I still do talk to them. My bestfriends are guys and we get along great. That vagina quote is sooooooooooo true.

5th Feb 2009, 11:12 AM	#10
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Most of my friends are guys, but I'm not out yet so it might change.

5th Feb 2009, 11:14 AM	#11
ricoca EC Addict Full Member Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 20 Posts: 647 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Thanks for the input I really appreciate it. __________________ i can never fit into any crowd, wanna know why?

5th Feb 2009, 11:51 AM	#13
pianomike Your Lover Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Queer Out Status: to only 5 people (and everyone reading this) Location: New York Age: 20 Posts: 358 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I've never found it hard to make friends with guys or girls. I do have a slight amount more girls as friends than guys....hmmm i wonder why? __________________ To live would be an awfully big adventure... to die would be an awfully big adventure. - Peter Pan

5th Feb 2009, 02:41 PM	#15
Drizzt DoUrden Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I just feel more comfortable around girls. I really am not that good....am terrible fail epically at making conversation when I don't know someone, and I find that girls are more likely to start a conversation than guys. I also don't share a lot of the stereotypical interests as heterosexual males, like American football, cars, and women. But I'm not sure that it's because I'm gay; rather, I think it's just my personality (which are not mutually exclusive to each other).

5th Feb 2009, 02:54 PM	#16
joss22 Toasty Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to two friends Location: Massachusetts Age: 20 Posts: 286 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I do not find it hard to make friends who are guys, in fact, I probably have more guy friends than girls, even though I can be more open to the girls. I easily converse with complete strangers which helps, I never really feel afraid speaking to people, guys or girls. It is not so much what gender the person is, but who they are, for instance none of my friends are really jocks, they are all the geeks and people who follow their own path rather than conform with societal standards. __________________ ? + ! = ‽ & ؟♥?

5th Feb 2009, 02:58 PM	#17
Bryan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: bestfriend & parents Location: South Florida Age: 21 Posts: 530 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? I usually dont have a problem, but I deff have more female friends than male friends, but I am fairly effeminate, so that could just be me.

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5th Feb 2009, 03:47 PM	#18
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Most of my friends are lesbians.... so they aren't like typical girls. I used to have guys as friends but they were all ssholes so i stopped hanging out with them. And the straight girls were ssholes too so i ditched them too. I personally think my town is just full of terrible people. __________________ Âllo Là

5th Feb 2009, 07:06 PM	#19
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,702 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? As a lesbian, I have trouble making female friends. A lot of straight girls who know my sexuality are very cautious around me - when I came out, my friends stopped hugging me, touching me, eventually even talking to me. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

5th Feb 2009, 07:09 PM	#20
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Is making male friends hard for gay guys? Like I do with most people, if they want to be my friend then sure but otherwise I will not go out of my way to make male friends. I despise like 95% of the male gender so I'm not going out of my way to be friends with them.