I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered parent

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

No.

The guy in this video talks about how he argued against his position: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDipt48sVyo


Being gay is blamed alternatively on 'too distant fathers' or ' too molly-coddling mothers' or 'distant mothers', or 'inappropriately close relationships with fathers' etc.
It goes on and on. Well- which one is it?

Parents love us, or damage us, and shape us in various emotional ways, but they cannot affect the basic biological sexual responses.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

The theory is an over involved mom or a distant father can have a role in a child being gay! But I think it's flawed and that the reason why the father becomes distant is because many gay guys are gender non confirming as children and probably the father can't connect with the child because he isn't typically masculine! Moreover some fathers expect the child to do masculine things and if the child isnt interested he would be bad it and this would irritate or anger the dad coz the child wouldn't get any better after many forced attempts at making him better! In this process there is screaming and tension between the father and son causing the relationship to become strained ! Eventually making the father distant ! But they also include those dads who abandoned or split away from the family! What they mean in this context is that the growing child doesn't have a male example to live by and develop accordingly! Now this stems from the wrong and homophobic thought that homosexuality is caused because of a lack of masculinity! Now would you give too much weightage to such a homophobic theory? Besides you speak of a strained relationship with your mom? It's not even in the preview of such theories ! I don't know much about your status of internal peace with your sexuality ! But the tone of your question indicates some amount of unresolved internalized homophobia! Please work on it

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

Growing up, I was closer to my Mother and my sister (Fraternal Twin) was closer to my Father. Even today I go to my Mother for advice and stuff. She's the first person I turn to talk to. On the other hand, even today my Sister calls my Dad up for everything.

I dunno if this means anything, My sister is straight while I'm gay.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

I'm not close with either parent or any of my siblings, nor do I have any parental figure I look up to. :s

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

The idea that my sexuality is caused by some deep-seated psychology issues with my dad is frankly insulting.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

Don't you think that's racist? Wouldn't it be more politically correct if that study hadn't been released?

But to its credit, I grew up living with my Mom and seeing my Dad every other weekend and one weekday a week and I turned out gay (as much as I hate the term 'gay' I'll use it for continuity's sake.).

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

I have a nice relationship with my father, who's always been present. So this isn't my case at all.

There are definitely gay men who have issues with their fathers, but there are also a lot of straight guys who have them as well. I see no relation.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

How is that racist? If it is true that over 50% of African-American children grow up in single parent households how can that be racist? Is reality that doesn't conform to some people's ideals racist? Why should the reality be hidden if we don't like the reality?

---------- Post added 29th Jan 2016 at 01:11 AM ----------

There is no credible scientific evidence to support idea that parental relationships actually affect sexual orientation. Anecdotal evidence is not a reliable indicator of anything.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

If science was always PC we wouldn't ever acheive anything... e.g. Darwin's theory of evolution was non-PC; it was offensive to people's religious beleifs. There's nothing racist about investigating actual facts unless you just wanna view it that way.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

Oh, sorry.

Well, in this case, I know more gay guys with problems with their dads than with their moms. So I still think lack of connection has no relation to sexual orientation.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

I understand what you mean. I have a better relationship with my mom, I'm significantly closer to her than to my dad. That theory doesn't sound completely absurd to me, but I doubt that it's real tbh. Exactly because it doesn't always apply. Like most people said, not everyone with a bad/distant relationship with the parent of the opposite sex turns out to be gay, nor does every gay person has a bad relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. But still, I've thought about that possibility before. Probably because of my own experience, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

My good buddy is black, does that mean he likes fried chicken and watermelon because statistically speaking black people like tasty deep fried food and fresh fruits more than other people? I'm just saying, buying into stereotypes, even if they're "scientifically proven" is a little rude.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

You misunderstood my intention. I wasn't criticizing you nor telling what not to ask or even implying you have internalized homophobia. I merely express my opinion on the idea itself without attaching it to any one specifically.
I hope this clear up.

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

You're an odd person, aren't you? There are more black children in single-mother households. This isn't even necessarily a bad thing - I'm the product of a single mother myself. It's just the way it is. What do you achieve by pretending it isn't true?

 

Re: I've wondered if sexual orientation could be lack of connection to a gendered par

Personally, I was never as close to my father as I was my mother, and yet, here I am.