Here's the backstory. Since I was a kid, my mom's been chasing after "multi level marketing" companies. Think Avon, Mary Kay, that kind of thing. If you don't know what that is, it's a nice way to say pyramid scheme. Someone buys a sales kit with the promise of shilling products for a company and recruiting people under them to shill products and recruit people under them (10 things direct-sales marketers won) She's been rotating through dozens of companies and doing this for years, each time believing that she's gonna be one of those people who suddenly makes millions overnight selling makeup, toys, office supplies or whatever the fuck the pyramid scheme company's all about. You know, instead of just putting all that time and energy into literally anything else. And she's spent a lot of time trying to get her friends and, of course, the family involved. Past couple years she's been with a nutrition supplement company. It's called Isagenix, which is basically a more cultish Herbalife. AND IT'S BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS. We've had kind of a difficult relationship, especially after I came out as trans to her. But after we reconciled, it's been nothing but talk about signing up, consider this business opportunity, start using the products. In fact, for the past couple days she's been hounding me to talk over the phone about Isagenix or whatever because she found out I was trying to lose weight (and I will say that I've done fantastic on my own. Already shed weight and working out). I even tried some of those products to humor her. They sell protein shakes and meal replacement bars, that kind of thing. Holy shit, that stuff tastes disgusting. I couldn't live two days on that stuff. The whole idea is that you're supposed to replace two meals a day with a shake or a bar and eat a 500 calorie meal. I've added it up. Each shake or bar is about 200 calories each. So this adds up to about 900 calories a day. Which is...insanely low. For reference, the average adult should be eating approximately 2000 calories a day. I got dizzy, hungry, and irritated just trying to follow that system for two days. And she won't stop hassling me to try the products or sign up as a seller. The excuses are getting thin. Telling her I have to run errands or the connection's bad only works so many times. AUGH WHAT THE HECK DO I DO?
I don't expect an appeal to reason to work this late in the game, but maybe a sort of "filtered" one might work? Try telling her "If the product is so great, why do they encourage people to put heavy pressure on their family members? Eventually she has to realize that the first-level buyers, the ones who see it as a "business opportunity" are the customers. If she wants to find success with an MLM, she should probably start her own and find people to "invest" with her.
Thanks you two. That's the thing. I don't want to jepordize my relationship with her especially when I finally reconnected with her. But at the same time...I don't fucking want to sell this crap or even use it! I just wanna have a normal mother/son relationship not feel like I'm being hounded by Jehovah's Witnesses or whatever. I mean, she's passionate about everything she gets involved with. She'd be a fucking amazing business owner if she actually set out and got to start her own business. And she's good with people (except for when she's too persistent, you know?). I mean, my mom would make a killing if she was doing her own thing. But she's getting nowhere doing this pyramid scheme crap.
My mom is like that, telling me I can work from home and pull in all this cash--and it never sinks in when I tell her those are scams.
Maybe you could say "Mom, I'd like to invest $100 in your business" and give her the cash." If she forgets about the money and begins talking later on about multi-level marketing, ask her how your investment is doing. If she says she lost your investment, bring it up every time she wants you to take part in her schemes. If she starts to give you all of these dividends back, maybe she's on her way to a pink Cadillac :lol:. _____ I remember going with my mom to a "Tupperware party" (it wasn't Tupperware but some stupid house decor things) because it was the sister of her friend. And she ended up paying $20 for a piece of crap item only to be a good friend; she never returned when invited again haha.
There are some that never really understand that they will most likely not make it big in these sorts of schemes. I just try to keep the topic on something else. You also could probably get away with telling her that when you tried the product it made you feel ill. (I've used that a couple of times with those kinds of salespeople.)
My aunt and uncle tried to get me to sell similar shit in college. Nope. They go to these crazy wack job conferences where they talk about the curative properties of glycoprotein and other bullshit that means it contains sugar and proteins... sort of like anything else found in cells of living organisms. They actually claimed it cured cancer at one point... ugh...
I have a friend selling that crap. It's about the 10th multilevel scam he's been involved with. I wonder if there is a genetic trait that makes people susceptible to this crap? I suggest setting a gentle but clear boundary with her. Tell her you need her as a mother, not a business partner and its important to keep that boundary. People in multilevel tend to have shitty boundaries so it may not work initially, but if you keep holding the boundary firmly, and don't ever let her blur it (I'd stop buying/using the crap) I think she will eventually get it.
Thanks everyone by the way. I actually didn't mean to answer this soon but couldn't really sleep. I will say that I don't actually buy the products. When I was using them, I was actually eating the surplus that my grandma and brother had ordered to humor her. Going by how that shit tasted, I could go the rest of my life without eating it again and it'd be too soon. Definitely not gonna financially invest in anything either. You know how much the starter kit for this crap is? (And Chip, since you have the buddy who sells it, I'm sure you know.) About $300 for a month's supply of the stuff. Not even kidding. She doesn't really listen when you tell her that pyramid schemes/MLM just don't work. "Oh, you're not thinking positive enough." (She's also a huge fan of stuff like the Secret, which basically teaches that you can have everything if you "put positive thoughts out in the universe" because the universe apparently works like Amazon). "See, a couple people in the company are multimillionaires so that means it's legit." She's definitely got the blinders on. And yes. Supposedly this shit cures diabetes and cancer. :dry: Who would've thought it only takes $300 a month, right?
I'd try this. Also try to encourage her to start her own thing, or to get a job as a sales person, if you say she is good selling. Oh, yes, but be careful with the beast inside, it's quite tempting to unleash the fury afterwards. By the way, you could suggest her to try the products she is selling, and if she doesn't want to, you've got an opportunity to question if they are as good as she is telling you, but it might not work with her...
She likes the products, as a matter of fact. Surprise, surprise. But yeah. I want to be careful here. If I'm too aggressive, it'll just piss her off and I'm not gonna get anywhere. I wanna be assertive but not say stuff like "oh the stuff is gross" (it is but she doesn't have to know I think like that) or "oh, it's a pyramid scheme" (because then she'll just go on an hour long tirad about how it's 'not a pyramid scheme' and 'I have a friend of a friend who's making five figures and he lost all this weight with my products and looks like a demi god.')
Yea those things are stupid expensive because the end vendor has to send money up the pyramid. It is preying on the proverbial "suckers" that pt barnum mentioned both as members of the pyramid scheme and consumers.
It sounds like this is the root of a deeper problem---some kind of unhappiness in herself that she's trying to resolve. A lack of self-esteem? A feeling of being inferior to others? From the near obsessive sounding patterns, here, I'd say it is much more about other (possibly subconscious) issues than just money. Can you gently suggest she see a therapist, just to talk to? It sounds like it's causing strife in the family, and has reached the point of dysfunction, and if she could get to the root of it, she and everyone might be a lot happier.
