I am the only girl at my meet ups, and brony conventions are 85% male. I don't have any femme lesbians to identify with. I don't fit in with my colleagues at work (not trying to be BFFs with anybody, just they seem to have their own circle there that doesn't include me) there are two people there I get along with though and they make it worth working there. Really getting depressed about this and for the longest time I tried to look on the bright side of things. But I don't have anybody to talk to aside from my therapist I've started going to for my family problems. I am trying to tell myself I'm just unique in my own way. But I wish I had that purpose and a place where I could feel "this is where I truly belong." Anybody relate?
Me, definitely. Even in groups that outwardly accept me, I'm just sort of a loner by nature. But if you want to make friends, you do have to engage people, and that's where I usually fall short.
I relate. Even in groups that are consisted of others with mental illness, I seem to have the most trouble making friends.
I feel this... Whenever I'm with a group of people three or more, I always end up feeling out of place and lonely. It's different when I'm with one close friend, or maybe two close friends, but I usually feel like the oddball or the loner standing on the sidelines.
I completely understand you! I go to an lgbt group and even there I feel like an outsider. I was thinking about not going there anymore because I thought it would help with my self esteem and acceptance but it has just done quite the opposite! If you ever wanna talk just message me on my wall. (*hug*)
I can relate to this a lot. I feel like everywhere I go, at work, school, vacation, I cannot connect with people. I always feel left out and it seems like people aren't interested in me at all unless we somehow manage to start an interesting conversation. But even after that, it's extremely hard to keep in touch with people for me... I do have a best friend, but he lives very far from me, so we can only see each other every few weeks and I often feel very lonely...
Wow, seems like a lot of people here feel like I do. I do have friends, but I see them so rarely now because of our schedules that I wonder sometimes if they've forgotten I existed because I'm generally not very important to anybody. I guess that comes with my social anxiety. The meet up thing especially, like Argentwing said. These groups accept me but I'm clearly still a loner and stick out like a sore thumb everywhere I go.
One thing that's always sort of nibbled at me isn't so much the feeling of being an alien or not even not fitting in, but the sense that I care more about the other people in a group than they do about me. It's like they can afford to lose you because they have other friends. Someone who doesn't have a lot puts a ton more value on a person who shares their company. But you can't really express that feeling without a high potential of appearing desperate and creepy, so it is quite the balancing act.
Trust me you're not alone! I often felt like the loner or the odd ball out. But then I realized sometimes it's not such a bad things being or working alone. I have actually found it easier for me to be alone and I just look at it as being a strong independent individual.
Yeah, definitely been feeling like this lately SO much!!! Talking to my therapist helped, and also trying to find someone that I can relate to for one thing only and just talking to them about that. But it's definitely something I struggled with before I realized I am gay, and now just more so, as I don't feel like I fit into any of the typical gay stereotypes/experience as far as butch/femme dichotomy, fashion, political views, age I am coming out, etc.
I fit in at work as long as it's all about work, and most of my coworkers respect that. Outside work I've got a couple of places where I can exercise social muscles, but I'm far from engaged on what I do, it leaves me cold. I often look for new places, stay for a while, check out the air and leave. Good thing is that you get to know many folks through stuff like cooking or foreign language classes, and you get your fun trying new stuff. Group dynamics, uniforms, to conform and to go with the flow just to fit in were never my thing. I just tend to connect with people on a personal basis, and there I can enjoy myself very much, 'cause I want to know that someone for a reason, I'm not just trying to fit in or to please anyone, so I don't have to change my ways for anyone. Yeah, I don't really fit in anywhere, but I do know it's because I don't even bother to try. Not anymore. The few ones I've got around are okay, and I've been living like this since I can remember. I just deal with it the best I can, and if I'm feeling low I remind myself that it wouldn't be better if I had to play the red power ranger just to get along with them. I can be myself, say whatever I want, and if there is a riot out there, well, that's too bad, but this is my life, and I won't live it for others' pleasure...
