Has anyone ever turned away from a relationship because of "going the distance"

Gotta judge it for yourself, which is more important. IMO, some baggage would be too much to deal with though.

 

I would not turn down someone because of physical or involuntary differences like race, social background or even gender but I could never imagine even falling in love with someone who is e.g. religious (I'm an atheist and I just have an extremely critical view on organized religions) or has very opposite political or social ideals to mine. Falling in love, for me personally, is not just based on hormones... I could never feel truly connected to someone who is too different from me worldview wise.

 

I would say it really depends on the circumstances. I had a girl turn me down flat once because I am not Indian or Hindu. I was so offended, then later I found out about the extreme pressure from her parents to never be involved with anyone but Indian people. After that I just felt sorry for her...

 

That is a bad reason to end a relationship and a submission to racism.

 

I was in this long term relationship with an high profile individual. We were together for a little over five years. He was offered a very prestigious position in his hometown and he wanted me to move back there with him. Although I did love him, I was not comfortable with moving to a city where I did not know anyone but the person I was moving with. His friends and family were still there and he knew the surroundings because he had taken me there to visit several times during our relationship. To me, that was different because I was not there permanently and it was just a visit although very pleasant. I had a few friends who tried to talk me into moving with him but for some strange reason, I always felt that since our relationship was very private and closeted that his new position would put him in the media a lot and because he was handsome and young to achieve such success that he would get questioned about his relationship or if he was married, etc. Therefore, we did the long distance thing for a while and about six months later, he was invited to a really high profile event and he talked to me about taking a girl he knew during college. They posed themselves as a couple. Eventually, they wound up engaged to be married. I received an invitation to the wedding but decided not to go for personal reasons. A close friend of both of ours who did know about our relationship later on had contacted me to tell me that my ex had told him that if I walked through that door, he would immediately call off the wedding. A year later, he contacted me because he was in town for business and had bought his wife along and he really wanted me to meet her which I agreed to do so since I was in a really good place in my personal life. She came across very cordial towards me but I could tell that he talked about me a lot to her and she had already had her thoughts about me which also concluded that she did not like me at all. This was confirmed when he excused himself to go to the restroom during dinner which she let loose on me just the way I had assumed she would. Nonetheless, it also made me aware that he still had feelings for me.

Since I am a gentleman and not a home wrecker, I purposely kept my distance even when he would contact me to let me know he was in town by himself and wanted to spend time with me. He even got jealous when he found out that I was seeing other guys which was my choice instead of being confined into a permanent relationship. To forward to recent years, I did not hear from him for a really long period of time until a couple of years ago and he informed me that he was going through a bitter divorce and children were involved. I spent a little time with him as a friend because I felt that was what he needed at the time and went on with my life.

 

I broke up with my first boyfriend for two reasons, one because I wasn't attracted to him and because I was moving and I am barely ok with close in person relationships, I don't think I would be a able to do a long distance one.