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Will any man ever love me

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Justinian20, Feb 8, 2016.

  1. Justinian20

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    I have an admission to make. I can be tied up using handkerchiefs. I am that weak.

    I feel like I'm not very much of a man, I just relate and feel a lot more like a woman. I don't feel very manly and this can sometimes manifest as a bit of insecurity. Let's just say I really want a husband to protect me and make me feel safe. These things also make me realize I'm probably not attractive to anyone because I notice the majority of gay guys want men with muscles and abs. Poor me I have none of that. So I try to make up for it by being fashionable, but I feel like I need to be perfect for any guy to like me.

    Maybe I have low self esteem, but I need to look perfect to attract any men, because no one is going to be attracted to me, I've got too many bad traits for any man to love.
     
  2. hapa

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    You're always going to be depressed if you base your self worth on having muscle.
     
  3. Justinian20

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    Let's just say I can't relate to any men due to lack of man stuff.

    But I really feel like the majority of gay men won't love me because I have too many negatives and most gay men are attracted to big men, I know I am but according to a lot of sites, I am one of the people who would probably be rejected by a lot of men who would say, you're too much of a woman, because admittedly I look very much like a small, petite female.
     
  4. Steve FS

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    That's a huge turn on for a lot of men, believe it or not. I find that a lot of bigger muscled men tend to like smaller, petite, feminine-looking men. Androgynous I think is the term.

    I'm not a perfect guy either, but there have been plenty of men that have been attracted to me. There's always going to be someone that finds you attractive, but if you're not putting yourself out there, how are you going to know, right? At least that was the situation that I was in, lol.
     
    #4 Steve FS, Feb 8, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 8, 2016
  5. DreamerBoy17

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    Honestly your worth to gay men isn't based on your masculinity and femininity. Gay men don't make up a large part of my attraction scale, but I'm much more attracted to femininity and androgyny than huge muscles. I prefer that softer side, as I'm sure plenty of older guys do as well.
    Any guy worth his salt will care more about your brain than your body. As a trans guy I've had to overcome a lot to accept my own femininity, and to accept that I can be loved and treated as guy not in spite of it, but because of it.
    I really hope that you can love and accept yourself for who you are. Gender roles suck. (*hug*)
     
    #5 DreamerBoy17, Feb 9, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2016
  6. Cinis

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    The outside doesn't matter you're an intelligent thoughtful and overall awesome person.And that's what really matters.
     
  7. Confusedmoose

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    That is so true! Personality is a huge part of attraction and you seem to have so many good qualities that would make any man lucky to be with you. Plus, I find more feminine guys just as attractive as more masculine ones. For me a lot of it is about personality.
     
  8. Michael

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    I can only confirm this. They even went with me, both men (yes, gay men) and women, and you have no idea how I look like, it's just too depressing for me to describe...
     
    #8 Michael, Feb 9, 2016
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  9. Kinky

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    And then you don't find them attractive back, the dilemma xD
     
  10. guitar

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    I love the more androgynous look and I know quite a few gay guys who do as well. Don't sell yourself short!

    ---------- Post added 9th Feb 2016 at 12:14 PM ----------

    I love the more androgynous look and I know quite a few gay guys who do as well. Don't sell yourself short!

    ---------- Post added 9th Feb 2016 at 12:33 PM ----------

    I love the more androgynous look and I know quite a few gay guys who do as well. Don't sell yourself short!
     
  11. AKTodd

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    If you want to be stronger or have bigger muscles, that's readily accomplished with proper diet and exercise (which can be done in a gym or at home and on a very modest to non-existent budget with a bit of research and creativity). Genetics also plays a role, so if you're naturally very thin and want to look like a competitive bodybuilder or professional wrestler that may be a bit of a stretch. But bulking up a bit and increasing definition is probably quite doable, if you want to do it.

    That said, you should do that because you enjoy it or enjoy the results, not as a chore you force yourself through simply on the theory that no one will like you if you don't look like an underwear model.

    You talk about 'the majority' of gay guys, but I'm finding it doubtful that you've personally polled most of the gay guys in a country of over 20 million people. Some guys do indeed like big muscles to the point that the lack of these is a dealbreaker for them. Others like slimmer and lighter builds. And others aren't going to care all that much or at all and will like you for the entire package you present, lighter build and all.

    I would very much agree that you have some self-esteem issues if you think people will only like you if you are 'perfect'. For starters, no one is 'perfect' and those who go out of their way to try (clothes, hair, skin products, etc. etc.) can themselves look rather artificial and very much not perfect to a whole subset of the population (so they 'lose' by the very act of 'winning'). You are probably as likely to find a guy who finds your 'imperfections' very attractive and a turn on as anything you could accomplish by dumping all your resources into products and activities that will supposedly produce 'perfection'.

    Be yourself and like the person you are and put yourself out there - and you may be surprised by the number of guys who will find you quite attractive indeed.

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
  12. angeluscrzy

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    I guess my tastes in guys are just all over the place. Masculine and muscles is great, but there's also an undeniable appeal for the petite, softer guys with a bit of sass.
     
  13. OnTheHighway

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    I am totally, completely, 100% only into guys whom are in touch with their feminine side and do so with confidence! I shed enough muscles and masculinity for both myself and you partner.

    Be happy with whom you are, and that will attract others to be happy with you.
     
  14. bookreader

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    I even had 2 guys attracted to me, it'll happen. Just continue being you.
     
  15. Ninetales

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    I personally perfer men who aren't meat heads, yo just have to find your own self worth and not let it be based on what others think
     
  16. R M

    R M
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    alot of manly gay men love smaller, feminine men. You should try not to be so insecure. I'm sure you'll find someone eventually :slight_smile:.
     
  17. Michael

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    It's worse when you find them attractive, it can get quite confusing under the wrong circumstances :bang:
     
  18. Justinian20

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    Thank you for all the nice replies guys. I had a very insecure moment when I posted this. I am pretty comfortable with my femininity, and this was kinda what I was like when I was younger. I hated being small and short, but now I don't mind being short and androgynous in appearance.
     
  19. bookreader

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    Don't worry, the right guy will come...