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What is your parenting style?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by I'm_Danni_x, Feb 17, 2016.

  1. I'm_Danni_x

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    Take the test here: Self Tests by Psychology Today

    Post your results once you have completed the quiz.

    Also, do you think spanking kids is a good and effective way to discipline children?
     
  2. RainbowGreen

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    Well, okay I guess. I thought it would be more detailed than that.

    As for spanking, no, I don't think it's a good idea. The moment you devolve into violence, you've lost the point. If you can't make your child understand without hitting them, then you need to change your approach.
     
  3. Browncoat

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    *shrugs* I thought I gave fairly authoritative (not authoritarian) responses.
    ------------------------------
    Not something as physical as spanking, but there does need to be some sort of consequence for misbehavior.
     
    #3 Browncoat, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  4. loveislove01

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    I got exactly a fifty.

    I want to be a parent when I grow up, and I agree with the way my parents brought me up- giving us freedom, ability to understand WHY things were right or wrong, and giving us room to disagree and argue with them provided it wasn't heated.

    I also don't agree with censorship. I would never let a four year old be watching porn, but when they're at a sensible age Id have a real talk with them about things like sex and urge them never to go behind my back on anything because my only real rules will be to treat others well and try their best to accomplish what they want in life
     
  5. RainbowGreen

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    Pretty much my way of thinking :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    I wasn't brought up like that, but that's how I wish it was done. My parents can never be wrong, it seems, but when you grow up, you realize how wrong they are.
     
  6. blueshadedsoul

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    I got a 44.

    Yes, I agree with all of that. I think that's the most reasonable & effective way to raise a child.

    & no, I don't think spanking is a good discipline method.
     
  7. Secrets5

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    I got 56.

    And no. Spanking is physically abusive and could negatively affect the child in the following areas as well emotional, intellectual, social.
     
  8. KnucklesNation

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    I got a 55!

    I believe that if you spare the rod, you'll spoil the child. But depending on what child you're raising, disciplinary actions may have to be adjusted. I went through them all once, the timeout method, groundings, and 'spankings'; and the most effective were the spankings.
     
    #8 KnucklesNation, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  9. LesbianThrasher

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    I got a 74 on the test.

    And yes, I do think that spanking is effective but it mostly works on younger kids because when they're that little they have no privileges that you can just take away until they improve their behavior. Just a few every now and then can be effective but not every time they screw up.
     
  10. Lipstick Leuger

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    I got 36. Low on the perfect parenting syndrome. It's true, just relax people and they turn out ok. You can't control everything!
     
  11. silverdeer

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    I know how I would treat my kid if I had one so I thought I would take the test.

    Personally I don't like spanking because when I was little I was kind of a bad kid and if I got multiple spanks at once I wouldn't be able to breath :l

    -

    Perfect Parent Syndrome :thumbsup: (51)
     
    #11 silverdeer, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  12. headsup1958

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    Snapshot Report
    Perfect Parent Syndrome
    33

    You scored fairly low on this scale. According to your responses, you have a hard time imagining why someone would strive to be a "perfect parent". You don't especially want to invite that kind of stress into your life, or into the lives of your kids, for that matter. You want your kids to be able to enjoy their childhood and look back fondly on it. You trust that even if you let them watch some TV, and even if you aren't always involved in all their activities, they'll still manage to become happy and functional people. People who want to be "perfect parents" risk stressing themselves out - in addition to the rest of their family - because of their constant struggle for perfection.


    Hmmm....times have changed. My kids grew up in the 80's and 90's. I was not a pushover, my parenting style was authoritative, I had no issue spanking and or punishing them appropriately (you don't have to like this). I think a lot of parents today (certainly not all, of course) try to be best buddies with their kids rather than being a parent to their kids. How many times have you heard, "I'm my son's/daughter's best friend."...wtf...you're the parent, act like one. Say no, and mean it when needed.

    Everything shouldn't be given to kids unless it's earned....of course I'm talking extras, not necessities....a computer, designer clothes, expensive sneakers and cellphones are NOT necessities. I knew of parents where everything was an automatic yes and then have difficulties reigning things in when needed. I'm of the belief that extras need to earned....they are not an ENTITLEMENT.

    It's not easy being a parent...it's the hardest job you'll ever have. It's not all fun and games. My kids hated me at times as teenagers. They would throw in my face, "Well, Timmy's parents let him do that." I would say, "Well, I'm not Timmy's parent." Of course that would tick them off. But....

    I do understand that parenting now is difficult, in ways I didn't have to worry about back then: on-line predators and dangers, stronger and more available illegal drugs and alcohol, suicide, financial difficulties, school violence, etc.

    I could go on, but you probably dislike me enough as it is. I will tell you however, I raised three wonderful, well adjusted kids to be decent, productive adults and parents in their own right. I'm certainly not telling you I was a perfect parent. I'll be the first to tell you I'm an imperfect man. My kids had their own trials and tribulations. But somehow, we all survived.

    All three would say (and have actually said to me) I was a strict but fair parent and they were glad to have boundaries. Granted, they didn't say this until their mid-twenties, when they'd fully matured. It's an awesome feeling to have your parenting validated I have to say.
     
    #12 headsup1958, Feb 17, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 17, 2016
  13. Andrew99

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    Snapshot Report
    Perfect Parent Syndrome
    55
    You scored in the mid-range for this scale. According to your responses, while you may understand the urge to be a highly involved and nearly perfect parent, you know that trying to raise children in a faultless manner is next to impossible. You want your kids to be able to enjoy their childhood and look back fondly on it. You may read a few books on childrearing and be highly involved in your kid's activities, but you'll still let them be kids. You believe that they'll still manage to become happy and functional people regardless of what you do. People who want to be "perfect parents" risk stressing themselves out - in addition to the rest of their family - because of their constant struggle for perfection.
     
  14. state-champs

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    I got a 48. Average, Snapshot report - Perfect Parenting Syndrome. The thing is that I don't want my children to be coddled, treated like their a prince/princess and I have to bow down to them if they throw a fit (i'm talking about the toddler and little kid stage). That's just going to show them that they don't have to listen to me when I say no. But I don't want to be super strict with them like my parents were to the point where I don't even feel comfortable talking to them about basic stuff like sex, sexuality, my grades, feelings, etc.

    If there's a way to balance the two without having my children hate me or unconditionally love me (no matter what) then I want to be in that grey area. There has to be a way for you to be strict to a certain degree and know when to back off.

    ---------- Post added 18th Feb 2016 at 12:33 AM ----------

    I agree with you for most of it. Especially the part where you do NOT need to give them computers, phones, etc. It's not a thing they need to survive. I'm definitely not letting my kids (in the future) have those until I can see that they're responsible enough to have them or that they've earned it.

    However I don't agree with the physical discipline aspect. I hated when my parents used a belt, wooden spoon, etc to tell me what I did was bad. That just ensures that your kid is going to be more afraid of you, and it's not really getting the message across. Obviously it never worked because I ended up doing the same thing again.

    The other thing I didn't really agree with is that there was a lack of trust and communication between my mom and I. This is referring to the part about being their friend. You don't need to be best buds with your children but there needs to be a common ground to where your child feels comfortable coming to you for any problems. I never tell my mom anything because she'll either flip out/overreact or disagree and push it aside. I told her once when I was 17 and a second time when I was 19 that I felt like I might have symptoms of depression. She just told me that I was being dramatic and that I'm too young to know what that's like. Passing my feelings and emotions off as if they didn't exist.

    I haven't even told her I'm pansexual because she doesn't even think bisexuality exists. So pansexuality DEFINITELY doesn't exist in her mind. How am I supposed to come forward? She's Christian too. She says she doesn't mind gays as in if they're not around her they don't bother her (which I think would change if it involves her own children). She still doesn't believe in same sex marriages and same sex relationships. My mom was born in the 1960s so she learned all her parenting skills from my grandma's and aunts. :bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang::bang:
     
    #14 state-champs, Feb 18, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2016
  15. Radioactive Bi

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    I don't need a silly test like this to tell me what kind of parent I am and from I experience you cannot know until you actually have children and go through it yourself. Things never turn out how you expect and all you can do is your best. That's what I do for. Y children anyway.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  16. LizSibling13

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    Had a good score but I think I'll ask bf so we can take it together. So when I get my uterus and eggs...
     
  17. wannahavechange

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    You scored in the mid-range for this scale. According to your responses, while you may understand the urge to be a highly involved and nearly perfect parent, you know that trying to raise children in a faultless manner is next to impossible. You want your kids to be able to enjoy their childhood and look back fondly on it. You may read a few books on childrearing and be highly involved in your kid's activities, but you'll still let them be kids. You believe that they'll still manage to become happy and functional people regardless of what you do. People who want to be "perfect parents" risk stressing themselves out - in addition to the rest of their family - because of their constant struggle for perfection.

    ---------- Post added 20th Feb 2016 at 07:35 AM ----------

    I got a 45
     
  18. Secrets5

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    Just to let parents know, it's actually considered abuse now not to get a phone or laptop for your child. [I'm from UK]

    I'm not sure I get why, maybe if they're in high school I'd see a reason for a phone if they're walking home, but they don't need a very expensive one.

    Although something I find more ridiculous than that is seeing 2 year olds having their own Ipads.
     
    #18 Secrets5, Feb 20, 2016
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