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How to get out of going to a concert with someone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RemakeJake, Feb 19, 2016.

  1. RemakeJake

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    This post will make me sound soooooo insensitive and inconsiderate but bear with me. :icon_redf (*hug*)

    I'm seeing one of my all-time favorite artists next week and I will also meet them :slight_smile: at first, I didn't want to go to the concert alone so I asked an acquaintance of mine if he wanted to come with me. He said yes. Buttttttt, he has a tendency to go a little over the line sometimes and I don't want him to pull any of that if we go together. What I mean is that I flat-out told him in a very polite way that if we go together, it's strictly as friends. Even that being said, he still sends me flirty messages, heart emojis, and tells me I'm cute all the time. I don't want this night I've been looking forward to for ages to be semi-ruined by someone. Even though I've invited him, I'd much rather go alone now.

    Is there any way to uninvite someone like this or give an excuse without coming off like a total tool? I am quite sick at the moment actually. Maybe I can just say I'm too ill to go?
     
  2. ThatBorussenGuy

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    Well, if you're actually sick, just call it off. It's a perfectly legitimate reason.
     
  3. Elli

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    If you're sick then tell him. You could also be like "I'm sick and not sure if I'll go" etc at first till you're sure.
    I mean, you could also just make sure he doesn't do anything like that to you when you guys'll go, maybe he'll surprise you. Or just ignore him most of the time :lol:

    Good luck!
     
  4. Andrew99

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    If your sick just tell him. He doesn't have to know a thing. But when you do go I warn you if you take any selfies with them don't post them on social media!
     
  5. Euler

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    If you want to be really sneaky, you arrange so that he will cancel. Ask a friend to ask him to do something even better.

    Or then you could just go with him but make it very clear where the boundaries are so that he gets it.
     
  6. AlamoCity

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    Really bad way, but maybe tell him that you're sick and had to sell the tickets on StubHub and are sorry. Tell him you'll make it up to him. Then, buy him a gift card to get dinner and get another friend to go with dinner with him so it's not a date. You go to the concert but DON'T post on social media or tell anyone you met your favorite artist.
     
  7. CyanChachki

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    Just be real with him. Tell him that you've changed your mind and would rather go alone. If he gets upset about buying a ticket to the concert, then reimburse him if you can.
     
  8. Euler

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    I disagree with people who suggest telling you are sick and not going. It's very risky. He is bound to find out as it's difficult to keep such a lie. If you tell even one of your friends there is chance that they will mention about either by accident or on purpose to this guy.

    Honest is the best policy. If you really don't want to go with him tell him what you told us - that you are uncomfortable how he seems to be hitting on and flirting with you.
     
  9. RawringSnake

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    No. No. No. Nooooooooooooooo. Your situation is giving me horrible flashbacks of all those times I've given these pushy, needy, I-don't-know-how-to-back-off-until-you-are-an-asshole-about-it guys the benefit of the doubt, and let me tell you I've always regretted it.

    Some people just make up their minds and they will only ever see you as a potential partner. They'll tell you "let's just be friends!" but it's a fucking lie. A charade. They will take up the guise of friendship only as a means to get closer to you, so they can keep trying to get in your pants. They do not know how to let go, they do not know how to shift gears, they do not get subtlety and, you know what? They don't want to either, what they want is you and they will not desist until you either cut them out of your life or make it perfectly clear in very explicit terms that you and them are never ever ever going to happen.

    So, if you have even the slightest hint that this dude will take advantage of the situation and pull some shenanigans, avoid going with him at all costs. If I were in your place, I wouldn't have any qualms about telling him that his weirdness is not inspiring me confidence, so I've changed my mind and decided I don't wanna go with him (probably in cruder terms, but you get the gist). That's me, because, in my experience, otherwise they just don't get it. They say they get it, but next thing you know they are groping you and that's when things get ugly. No.

    Just turn him down. Put it however nicely you want to, but that's what I advice.
     
    #9 RawringSnake, Feb 19, 2016
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2016
  10. Rydia

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    I think telling him you've decided you'd rather go alone without an explanation as to why is fine, though it sounds like you need to be honest with him about his behaviour anyway, unless your plan is to avoid him from here on out, but playing sick and all of that is toolish behaviour imo.

    If the reason that you don't want to go is because he's still crossing lines, even after you told him you just want to be friends, there's nothing wrong with just telling him that's why you don't want to go with him, particularly since you say your invitation was a "just friends" thing.
     
  11. Walking

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    Just tell him nicely what you need to say to him and be like 'I'm sorry but idk if I will enjoy going at all with you, I'm just not sure'
     
  12. state-champs

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    Just be honest with him. Let him know that his flirtatious behavior bothers you and you don't want him to act like that. If you still want to be friends with him, let him know that too. IMHO it's best to be straight up with them. Tell them how you really feel. If they continue to be inappropriate in ways that make you feel like you're going to have a bad time, then let them know that it's not working. Personally if I knew someone like that I'd tell them. If they continue to do it I'd be like "Look, I think you're a great person and all but if you're going to continue to do this I have no choice but to stop being your friend."
     
  13. LogicNoSense

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    Tell him straight up that you're not comfortable with him going! As you said, he seems to see you as 'more then a friend' even though you've already clearly set the boundary for him. Just tell him straight up that you're not comfortable with him going, and even if you need to seem rude, you need to tell him that you're uncomfortable with his flirting and whatnot.

    You gotta be strong on this kinda thing, if not they'll just come back. Best of luck!