So I don't know, I am a lot more sexually attracted to cute guys (but only a small select few) But then I like girls' personalitys more. Then, I would love guy only if he was really cute and he had a great passive but fun and sometimes agressive personality. Also I don't want to get in a relationship with a girl that I can't be close to because if I can't show that I love that person with all the sexual orientation problems what will I do? The main question is what sexuality is this ? Please just answer:help: ps sorry for the way this was written
I also don't want to really come out to anyone but some of my friends that are in my clique are bi and lesbian and they basically will tell everyone that I'm pan or bi or whatever and I don't want this happening because if my gf hears this I don't want her to think of me differently or for me to lose her
i would say bi/pan, but this is something that you can only figure out for yourself. No one here can tell you, we can only help you try to figure it out. Labels are really not a big deal though. You just like who you like. You meet a girl and you connect, great. You meet a guy and you connect, great. I just like to say sometimes that I like people lol.
If you don't feel comfortable doing it, then you don't have to "come out" to anyone. That's no one's business but your own anyways, unless it becomes a problem in your relationship then you have to tell her. But if you're worried about what she may think/say, try to sneak it into conversation; "oh hey babe, how do you feel about bisexual/pansexual people?"
No one but you can know the answer to this, and it's something that will likely take you some time to figure out. That said, here's some info that might be helpful. When people first consider the idea they may not be straight, there are stages we go through processing the loss of our perception of being straight. THe stages are denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. During the 'bargaining' stage, it's common to say things like "Well, I like guys, but I also like girls and I could still end up with a girl". Before the advent of the 10000000 unrecognized labels and the (completely unsupported scientifically) idea of a separation between romantic and sexual orientation, it was common for people in the above bargaining phase to label themselves as 'bisexual'. These days, people roll out the more exotic "homosexual/heteroromantic" orientation, for which there's zero credible evidence of its existence. So if you ask a random sampling of gay men, you'll find that an awful lot of them have a whole bunch of women around them. They have deep connections with them, they are very close, and the gay men describe these women as people they feel a strong connection to. We have a word for this, and it's called 'friendship'. So what many people mistakenly describe as "romantic orientation" is, in fact, simply a deep, emotionally intimate friendship. Additionally, as we process whatever our sexual orientation is, and negotiate the loss, and think about issues of how our families and friends will accept us... that brings up feelings and as we work through it, we find that if we're gay (for most of us anyway) our attraction to men grows stronger, and the attraction we felt toward women grows less strong (or, more precisely, is recognized as friendship.) This doesn't represent a change in orientation so much as an emerging of our actual underlying feelings that were previously hidden by our fears and worries of judgment. So again... to be clear, I can't tell you what your orientation is. Only you can know that, and what I've said might apply a lot, a little, or none at all to you. I simply offer it as one possibility to explore among many others. Take your time. There's no rush to find the answer that's right for you.
