1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What is love?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by goratrix, Jun 27, 2005.

  1. goratrix

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ok... I guess there is not much else to say...

    What is love?

    How do you tell if you are inlove?

    Most important of all... how do you tell friendship from 'love'?

    I know sexual attraction doesn't help... but can you be sexually attracted to someone that you are otherwise just friends with?...

    ok... I know I'm not making much sense... buy I really have to ask...

    oh... well... I guess I'll go to bed and wait a few days before checkign for answers...

    thx..
     
  2. nisomer

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2005
    Messages:
    561
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    MN
    good question. ive been wondering to myself about this lately as well. i feel that something inside of me is missing, and it is infact this "love".
     
  3. Jordano

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2005
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Dakota
    My description of love is, besides the butterflies in the stomach, weak at the knees feeling and heart pounding fast, the feeling of giddiness, like you can't stop grinning or smiling, that nothing could rain on your parade, is what I think love is. And you don't care about anything going on around you, you're with this one special person, and it feels like you could spend an eternity talking about anything from how the sky is blue to what you ate for dinner! If these qualities I'm feeling are love, for me anyway, then I'm madly in love with this guy! And sometimes words aren't even called for, I could stare at his gorgeous eyes and daydream...and about nothing too...it's wonderful and makes the happiest person alive!

    So I'll ask you this, do you think I'm in love? I think "love" is different for each person, and you just know...
     
  4. Micah

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    When the thought of them brings a smile to your face.

    When you spend your free time thinking of things you are going to say to him next time you meet.

    When there is no one else in the world who you would rather spend more time with.


    But to answer your question about differentiating between friendship and love, you really have to reply upon your own intuition. Everyone experiences love in their own way. But I suppose the main thing to look out for is an overwhelming desire to see them and be with them. Thats usually a pretty good indicator.

    Sexual attraction can be a bit confusing, but for most people, it very possible to feel sexually attracted to someone without actually being 'in love' with them.

    Dave
     

  5. I completely agree with Dave. Actually, for me the greater challenge is distinguishing between love and unhealthy obsession - if there is, in fact, a difference between the two. :slight_smile:
     
  6. confusedkid

    confusedkid Guest

    Joined:
    May 23, 2005
    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    0
    Strong friendship and love is difficult... then again, I'm a person who believes in infinite love, as in I love my boy :icon_mrgr :kiss: and I love my friends (most of them female). And I really do LOVE them. Love comes in different forms but each form is just as special and powerful as the next... (love for friends, family, BOYFRIEND *smoooooch!*) And you can definitely be sexually attracted to someone you're just friends with... (*goes and rapes roommate* whoops!)

    You can tell friendship from love when no matter what, that special person always has time to be with you, and you with him/her and usually the mutual sexual attraction and making out is also a clue that your relationship has probably moved beyond "friendship"... it may not be love yet, but definitely has a possibility of developing...

    ~CK
     
  7. Jordano

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2005
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    South Dakota
    I would have to say an unhealthy obsession occurs when you put your "crush" or "true love" in front of everything else, if your priorities are completely outta whack! I must admit, I had an unhealthy obsession at one point, but realized it, and that's the key, realizing your problem. Course to me it wasn't a problem! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Sexual attraction can be hard distinguishing from love but as CK said, something can happen from sexual attraction, especially if it's mutual! And infinite love - totally agree! :grin: But as everyones said already, it's all about the individual's intuition and what they consider love...me, I AM in love!
     
  8. goratrix

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    Fine... so I guess it's like 'being the one' (quoting matrix)... you just know it. Anyways, someone told me to read The art of Loving by Erich Fromm (a while ago)... and in that book Fromm says that there is no such thing as uncorresponded love... that love is something mutual... otherwise it's just a crush...

    I don't know... I guess I'll have to think this over some more.
     
  9. Hmm... I don't know about that. I do think there's such a thing as unrequited love.
     
  10. popboy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
    I'll stick to the theory that states that love is a kind of temporal insanity.
    I really wanna go nuts!!! :icon_mrgr
     
  11. confusedkid

    confusedkid Guest

    Joined:
    May 23, 2005
    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes! Best description EVER!
     
  12. goratrix

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    ^^^^^^^^^^^
    Even more than you already are? XD


    *kisses popboy ;-)*


    Anyway, I do love the idea of going nuts for someone... the idea of just being so madly inlove that every minute apart is a cold steel knive stabbing your heart... however such thing cannot last...
     
  13. Micah

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2005
    Messages:
    2,284
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Melbourne, Australia
    Haha, it's so true.

    The things we do for love....
     
  14. Paul_UK

    Paul_UK Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Messages:
    6,885
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Indeed it doesn't last that way - such intense feelings and emotions cannot continue indefinitely if you are to get through life. However you progress from the initial heady insane feelings to something less extreme and more stable. This only happens if there really is something there beyond the initial attraction - if you are indeed compatible and there is a closeness to keep you together. It becomes more like a strong closeness (I want to say "friendship" but it's much more than that), respect and understanding.

    This is why a lot of relationships (gay and straight) break up after a couple of months - once the initial feelings have subsided there is not a strong enough bond to stay together; the couple are not as compatible as they thought and their differences become apparent.

    With friends, although I am always pleased for them when they meet someone new and always welcome their partners, I tend not to think of them as serious couples until they have been together for around three months.
     
  15. popboy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2005
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Buenos Aires, Argentina
    Yeah, even more! Mine is a permanent condition, you know. Getting a temporal one wouldn't make things any worse. Quite the opposite I think :grin:
    (BTW, goratrix and I usually chat. I do sound a little nuts by MSN, I really do)

    :eusa_clap Wise words! Most of the people I know go through that experience over and over again.
     
  16. goratrix

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    519
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hmm, yeah... he does! but then again... so do I... oh! wait a minute! I'm am really nuts... so I guess he should be as well... ok... still, you're a wonderful guy! and you know I really miss you these days you have to work hard... lots of stories to tell, and not many of them are about AC!!!


    I know only three couples that lasted more than six months...(all straight)