random question - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

gemerency · 13th Feb 2009, 07:36 AM

how on earth do people actually manage to ask out a guy and not get punched in the stomache because their gaydar was off?

Dazed · 13th Feb 2009, 08:03 AM

online? text messages? and ask and run.

SpacerX · 13th Feb 2009, 09:16 AM

suss him out a bit first, talking is usually the best bet. it takes time to differenciate friendliness from attraction (especially when you have the hots for him) but it does get easier.

that, or just go after complete flamers who couldn't possibly be mistaken as straight.

**Lexington** · 13th Feb 2009, 09:21 AM

You don't ask him out first. You chat with thim, and give him some open-ended questions meant to suss him out. "Have you ever been to (gay bar)?" "Are you dating anybody right now?" If he gives generally encouraging responses, you can at least ask without fearing a violent response.

Lex

gemerency · 13th Feb 2009, 11:39 AM

massive thanx to all of you

kayar · 13th Feb 2009, 12:08 PM

Good question, and it doesn't seem to get any easier when you're older. My problem is that if I think the guy is hot or gorgeous, my composure falls to pieces and I start to think that I'm being really obvious! Still, it's worthwhile trying; so good luck to us all!!!!

Hope it works for you, Kayar. X

13th Feb 2009, 12:49 PM

Text him that you love him. If it doesn't work, say that it was a joke.

Quote:

You don't ask him out first. You chat with thim, and give him some open-ended questions meant to suss him out. "Have you ever been to (gay bar)?" "Are you dating anybody right now?" If he gives generally encouraging responses, you can at least ask without fearing a violent response.

Lex

One of my friends has tried. Ended up with a punch in his face. It was like a funny gay movie for the moment.

gemerency · 13th Feb 2009, 01:50 PM

see thats exacly my fear

carrie90 · 13th Feb 2009, 01:50 PM

scout him out first find out his interests and when you know him well enough ask about his past relationships and find out his sexuality

**Lexington** · 13th Feb 2009, 04:07 PM

Let's just say your chances get better away from Alamosa.

Lex

gemerency · 17th Feb 2009, 07:49 AM

lol true. (this place sucks)

**Lexington** · 17th Feb 2009, 08:33 AM

I actually applied for a job there once. I would've stopped by to say hi, but you were...let's see...

...two years old.

Lex

Aboden · 17th Feb 2009, 08:36 AM

You think being in Orlando I would have better luck, but random guys on the street kind of hard to tell. But my gaydar is totally messed up, never worked actually.

Mr Bojangles · 17th Feb 2009, 08:50 AM

My homometer is pretty pathetic, it's only ever worked a few times.

Steve · 17th Feb 2009, 09:09 AM

ahhh his avatar is so cute!!!!!

13th Feb 2009, 07:36 AM	#1
gemerency high priest of procrastinationism Full Member Gender: i has dangly bits Orientation: 4/6 of kinsey scale Out Status: mom,sister,grandma other gay freinds Location: Alamosa, Colorado Age: 20 Posts: 1,376 Join Date: Dec 2008	random question how on earth do people actually manage to ask out a guy and not get punched in the stomache because their gaydar was off? __________________ Bite me Lady Grey! Bowerstone is all mine now!!! Muahahahahaha

13th Feb 2009, 08:03 AM	#2
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: random question online? text messages? and ask and run.

13th Feb 2009, 09:16 AM	#3
SpacerX Experience = Learning Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and About! Location: Wexford, Ireland Posts: 104 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: random question suss him out a bit first, talking is usually the best bet. it takes time to differenciate friendliness from attraction (especially when you have the hots for him) but it does get easier. that, or just go after complete flamers who couldn't possibly be mistaken as straight.

13th Feb 2009, 09:21 AM	#4
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: random question You don't ask him out first. You chat with thim, and give him some open-ended questions meant to suss him out. "Have you ever been to (gay bar)?" "Are you dating anybody right now?" If he gives generally encouraging responses, you can at least ask without fearing a violent response. Lex

13th Feb 2009, 11:39 AM	#5
gemerency high priest of procrastinationism Full Member Gender: i has dangly bits Orientation: 4/6 of kinsey scale Out Status: mom,sister,grandma other gay freinds Location: Alamosa, Colorado Age: 20 Posts: 1,376 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: random question massive thanx to all of you __________________ Bite me Lady Grey! Bowerstone is all mine now!!! Muahahahahaha

13th Feb 2009, 12:08 PM	#6
kayar Movin' on up, and movin' on out! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sing if you're proud to be gay! Out Status: As of 16th March - 64 and rising, but no family! Location: East London / Essex area, U.K. Age: 61 Posts: 103 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: random question Good question, and it doesn't seem to get any easier when you're older. My problem is that if I think the guy is hot or gorgeous, my composure falls to pieces and I start to think that I'm being really obvious! Still, it's worthwhile trying; so good luck to us all!!!! Hope it works for you, Kayar. X

13th Feb 2009, 01:50 PM	#8
gemerency high priest of procrastinationism Full Member Gender: i has dangly bits Orientation: 4/6 of kinsey scale Out Status: mom,sister,grandma other gay freinds Location: Alamosa, Colorado Age: 20 Posts: 1,376 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: random question see thats exacly my fear __________________ Bite me Lady Grey! Bowerstone is all mine now!!! Muahahahahaha

13th Feb 2009, 01:50 PM	#9
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: random question scout him out first find out his interests and when you know him well enough ask about his past relationships and find out his sexuality

13th Feb 2009, 04:07 PM	#10
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: random question Let's just say your chances get better away from Alamosa. Lex

17th Feb 2009, 07:49 AM	#11
gemerency high priest of procrastinationism Full Member Gender: i has dangly bits Orientation: 4/6 of kinsey scale Out Status: mom,sister,grandma other gay freinds Location: Alamosa, Colorado Age: 20 Posts: 1,376 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: random question lol true. (this place sucks) __________________ Bite me Lady Grey! Bowerstone is all mine now!!! Muahahahahaha

17th Feb 2009, 08:33 AM	#12
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: random question I actually applied for a job there once. I would've stopped by to say hi, but you were...let's see... ...two years old. Lex

17th Feb 2009, 08:36 AM	#13
Aboden Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bi but more on the gay side. Out Status: A few people Location: Orlando, FL Age: 31 Posts: 17 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: random question You think being in Orlando I would have better luck, but random guys on the street kind of hard to tell. But my gaydar is totally messed up, never worked actually. __________________ Our lives improve only when we take chances - and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Walter Anderson

17th Feb 2009, 08:50 AM	#14
Mr Bojangles EC's resident Pikey :3 Full Member Gender: Hombre Orientation: Men = WIN. Out Status: Out, I guess. Location: Dubai Posts: 279 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: random question My homometer is pretty pathetic, it's only ever worked a few times.

17th Feb 2009, 09:09 AM	#15
Steve EC's Soldier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Sargeant sexual Out Status: whoever asks Location: Born in australia, but now living some where else Age: 21 Posts: 2,273 Join Date: May 2008	Re: random question ahhh his avatar is so cute!!!!! __________________ Soldier " there is no room for that in my pocklet" commander " if there is room in your heart then there in your pocket" Soldier " i cant fit my gf in there" -r " have you tried ? until you try you dont know"

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
If this is the answer, what is the question?	Martin	Fun and Games	250	17th Feb 2009 08:53 AM
random question	theworld	Chit Chat	33	31st Jan 2009 09:45 PM
Glasses...awkward question	Anonymous	Anonymous Discussions	12	25th Jul 2008 04:13 AM
A Random Question	Trumpetplyer23	Chit Chat	21	18th Mar 2008 11:41 AM
Latest and random photos and blogs	Paul_UK	Empty Closets Help and Feedback	30	26th Feb 2008 10:32 AM