I live in a house with four of my six siblings and my parents. Almost all of them are Catholic (not my oldest sister and me). This can be a bit of a problem because I don't like hiding my sexuality or beliefs but I can't say anything at all against the church in my house. My parents seldom speak of homosexuality and when they do, they make it out to be some sort of evil. I don't mean to dis anyone's religion, but you can probably see how this is stressing me out. I like to be open and honest but I feel like they're making me lie about myself. Really, saying "I'm bisexual" to someone is like saying "I like Star Trek". It's just something about you but so many years of one religion overruling with only their rules, makes coming out so difficult. Again, not trying to insult anyone's religion but I just needed to vent I guess.
We're four in the household, my parents and my younger brother. Both parents are strong Catholics (but somehow not when practicing the religion, like praying everyday), I guess my brother is just indifferent with being a Catholic. I haven't come out to them yet (though I think my brother knows) so I wouldn't know their actual view on having a lesbian daughter. I tried several times to figure out their point of view on LGBT but I never got a proper stance from them. My dad would often joke about gays and lesbians and how they dress up (in the Philippines, gays and lesbian would often be seen cross dressing). My mom however accepts they are exist in our community, and in a way accepted. But I wouldn't know how she would react if she had to interact with them often. As for my dad, besides joking about their appearance, he wouldn't really blatantly insult them harshly or something like that. So I guess what i'm trying to say is, I really don't know what's their view if they found out about their lesbian daughter. Though i'm more concerned that they won't accept me being a lesbian because I don't 'dress up like one' (as seen in the Philippines) rather than me being shunned by them. So all in all, i'm clueless.... Just wanted to share my situation I guess, this is just a bit frustrating is all.
They are a obsessed with fan articles : Rosaries, crucifixes, images... Their homes are full of them. Kidding... I grew up in what you could describe as a catholic world, from the school to daily prayers before going to bed, lent, mass, confession, the catholic guilt, the homophobia, weird tales about sexual abuse at certain schools (and of course the pigs got away with it), if a woman has an abortion she was a murderess, and if she had sex with many man she was a whore, single parent households were called broken homes, gay men were perverts and pedophiles, infidelity was a crime and a sin, the man up there who sees all and will punish you only for having dirty thoughts... All quite charming. And they bitch a lot about radical muslims, you know. My younger sister was terrified as a kid as she saw images of Jesus on the cross, I felt like covering her eyes and taking her away from that, but could not 'cause her dear mother wanted to 'pass the tradition' and of course to run away like hell would have been 'disrespectful to our lord'. Me, I appreciated the images very much 'cause there were works of art, you know, and I'm quite sadistic, but never believed the man was/had been real, nor I found healthy when people talked to someone or something who couldn't be seen. To be a witness of folks praying and to be in masses felt very surreal, kind of a culture shock, at the same time it gave me from an early age the certainty that there was something very wrong with them, not me, which came handy years later. I was never comfortable on a church during a service. It's ok when they are singing, specially gospel, or playing some music, but mass or seeing them when they pray is disturbing, and I'd rather avoid it. Also if it's something so intimate, talking to your very own creator, how can you do it in public? I never understood them, but as I've said, I appreciate the art and the bible, when read with a neutral perspective, is a quite interesting book full of wisdom. It's also part of the cultural heritage. I love many things of Catholicism, except the part that has to do with religion.
