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Why do people want young people do be indecisive?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Vav, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. Vav

    Vav Guest

    I've been pretty indecisive for a few years. I was never like that as a child. I think I know why. Society wants people to be indecisive. When I say I don't want to date guys or would prefer to date girls people tell me all sorts of bullshit. They tell me that I like people and not gender, that I'm young or sexuality is fluid. I get that all of those things are some people's reality. I just hate it when people assume that about everyone.

    I get the same thing when I talk about university. I want to go into healthcare and major in psychology. Mainly because I've been very interested in healthcare since I was a kid and I'm also pretty interested in psychology. Unfortunately people keep pushing me to consider other stuff. It's like they want me to change my mind. I've already looked at a bunch of other career options. Why can't I decide on healthcare or not wanting to date guys without people pushing me to change my mind?
     
  2. PrivateUser

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    Everyone knows better than you do, especially when it comes to your own feelings and intentions. They are mindreaders, who can tell what you really want, and ignore this shallow sense that what you say you want is really it. Above all these people are idiots.

    I had a wonderful experience a few days ago with a woman who knows better than me. She wanted to travel on my bus - an adult woman - but had a child's ticket as an extension to a mobility ticket from a major city. I told her that the ticket she had bought was invalid because it is not designed for the mobility ticket she already owns, and she is not a student at a local school. She didn't want to believe me and started arguing. Finally she said she would ask a colleague, so I asked whether he worked in the transport business. Of course not, she replied. So I asked her whether she really wanted to ask someone for advice who had no experience whatsoever rather than listen to someone with decades of experience. She knew better; she knew what I really meant, that I really meant I was wrong and she was right.

    She decided to stick with asking her colleague, so I pulled out my inspector's ID, checked her ticket again, and gave her a fine of sixty Euro. Now she knows what I am thinking, and I have a pretty good idea of what she is thinking too.
     
  3. Kinky

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    Best story I've heard this week! :roflmao:
    To the OP, everyone has this little annoying things called opinions and eventually they need to shove it down to someone else's throat (which is exactly what I'm about to do to you).
    When I chose to major in Business, my homeroom teacher warned me that it would be a boring study, I went on with it anyway. She was right, btw. Later on, I switched to seamanship. My friends told me I didn't have the strength for it, I ignored them and passed the entrance exams. I told my mum I had a boyfriend, and she honestly believed I was confused sexually. It didn't matter, I still love him regardless of what she says.
    What I'm trying to say here, you can't keep blaming other people for making you second guess yourself. I won't deny that my decisions are influenced by many factors but in the end I'm the one who choose them all. No matter what you do, someone will criticize you for it. If other people's opinions are the only thing stopping you from getting what you want, you might not be the decisive person you think you are.
     
  4. Vav

    Vav Guest

    Right now I am blaming people for me second guessing myself. This year I'm planning to tell everyone to just go fuck themselves. Not literally, but I will be thinking it in my head.
     
  5. How can you start trusting your judgment more? I struggle with the same thing. I'm trying to evaluate how factual someone's opinion is and what's the evidence. If I know in my gut that something is going to be positive, I trust it. I don't know you, but hope my post can be helpful.

    I think that others just assume that a young person must be naive and experienced.
     
  6. Libertino

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    There is nothing wrong with listening to others' advice and being willing to hear all sides of something. Deciding what field to go into can be a major decision (believe me, I could write a book about all the negative things I've heard from people when I've told them I'm majoring in Philosophy and English). At the same time, they should be able to respect the decisions you've made--as long as you can demonstrate that you are committed to them and know what you are doing. If you come across as unsure or unconfident, people might be more likely to think they need to give you unwanted "advice" even if you've already made up your mind.
     
  7. Matto_Corvo

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    I don't blame others for the fact that I can't stand up for myself.
    The fact is is that I know what I want, but I let what others want convince me I should do something else. So when I go back to doing what I want I come off as indecisive.
    If you want to do something that others don't understand or want for you and you listen to them...well that's on you. The only one who can truly tell you what to do is you.
    And second guessing one self is not just a young person thing. Everyone of any age has doubts about anything. The difference being is that those with more life experience (regardless of age) have learned to hold fast to what they want.
     
  8. This is actually good advice. Now that I'm more confident, it's interesting how I have attracted new friends that don't need dictate me. In the past, I didn't trust my judgment (due to my own upbringing)-which led people to think that they could "fix me" and "help". Most of the unsolicited advice that I've received hasn't been effective, imho.
     
    #8 Fullofsurprises, Mar 10, 2016
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 10, 2016
  9. lemons123

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    I think it's rather older people forcing their views upon the youth. When I get 40+ or so (if ever...) I'd never try to advice the youngsters on things like: where to live, should they marry, what career path to take and so on.