1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

how do you make friends?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Mitchell, Feb 17, 2009.

  1. Mitchell

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Messages:
    538
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Hampshire, USA
    I've never really had friends before, and am just used to feeling lonely.

    I've been very unsuccessful at making friends... it never just seems to work out.

    How do you guys end up making friends?

    I feel like I've missed out on so much, and I don't want to miss out on more.

    Mitchell
     
  2. tofuplease

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2009
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area CA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Hi,

    I have had some trouble with this in the past so I don't know how much help I'll be but hopefully it'll help :slight_smile:
    Try joining a club or team of some kind. Talk to a lot of people while you're there and don't be shy! (That is one of my main problems I think.) People think you're uninterested when in actuality you're intimidated. Talk to people outside of school as well.
    Good luck!
     
  3. Mitchell

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Messages:
    538
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Hampshire, USA
    I actually have recently joined some clubs but I dont really talk to anyone yet. We'll see.

    I was hoping there was some magical easy answer.
     
  4. clip555

    clip555 Guest

    If you find that magical easy asnwer Id love to know it :slight_smile:
     
  5. Bryan44

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2009
    Messages:
    110
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Georgia
    I know this is going to sound so cliche. But try stepping outside of the box. Do things that are out of the norm for you. Talk to people who you've never talked to before, get involved in clubs like the others have said. You will more than likely find people with common interest, which often sparks a friendship. :icon_wink And it will help with your confidence!!
     
  6. bruenor92

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2007
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    southeast NC, (oak island kicks ass)
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    well i dont want to sound harsh or anything but u should just start talkin to people, dont be scared to do it, i used to be shy and everything and then i started talkin to 1 person, that turned to 5 and now im friends with so many random people its crazy, sometimes u just have to take a chance, oly if ur sure u want to take it, dont do it only bcuz sum1 told u to.
     
  7. Derek the Wolf

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,126
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Illinois
    Make some simple observation about the people, and hop in on a common point. For example, my friend saw some people at a rifle match listening to techno. He walked up and asked who the artist was, struck up a conversation, and had some new buddies in minutes.
    The important things are to A) Just be yourself, and B) Don't worry about it
    You can't be friends with everyone, and you shouldn't try to be. Take a laid back approach, your true friends will become apparent in time.
    Good luck pup. ^^
     
  8. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    I'm not too good at this myself. People, usually women, seem to gravitate towards me and initiate first contact. I meet most my friends from school though. I dont belong to any USEFUL clubs. Then theres the University of Oregon's ballroom which always has a concert going. I recommend school.
     
  9. Jeimuzu

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,375
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middlesbrough
    Magical easy answer:

    "Hi! I'm Mitchell. How're you doing?" Smile. Chat. And don't be shy about it, there's no reason.
     
  10. jazzyspazzy

    jazzyspazzy Guest

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2008
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Somerset
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    make sure you don't pretend to be someone you're not, because the person will only find out some time. also, i have a tendency to expect my friends to be with me all the time, but that just scares them off because you seem clingy. just go with the flow, basically.
     
  11. Miles D

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2008
    Messages:
    786
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA ⇒ Great Barrington, MA
    Well, whenever I was at a new school (5th grade, 6th grade, 9th grade and this past year) I would go up to people I had class with or who I thought were cool and introduce myself.

    My first day of my freshman year of high school I saw a girl with a Green Day bag, and I was wearing my Green Day shirt, and I walked up to her and said, "Hey, you like Green Day too? My name's Miles!" and we ended up being pretty good friends for a good year.

    Just try introducing yourself to people that have on a t-shirt of a band you like, or something about they said in class that you can strike up a conversation about.

    :grin:
     
  12. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    I'm such a penisface! >_<) So that's why people were always doing that! I always shooed them fuggers away too. LOL
    "Hi, my names John! Whats yours?"
    "Piss off wanker, it's none of your business"

    So THATS why I had issues making friends. >_<) Omg...too late to discover this...people still do that on the bus. But then again, most of the don't pass my friendship quality test. Lol God I am a bastard. >_<) Thanks for making me realize this.
     
  13. Crackajack

    Crackajack Guest

    I make "friends" resonably well actualy...until they find out im more or less gay, then they back away slowly -.-
     
  14. lostinthought9

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2008
    Messages:
    780
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Louisiana
    hmmm...that's strange...usually openly gay guys have lots of friends.

    at my school, the out gay guys have lots of friends (girls, mainly) that will randomly come up to them and give them hugs and chat with them...

    But Miles gave good advice, find something you have in common, like a favorite band (btw I LOVE Green Day!), and try to start a conversation
    AND don't do like The_Enigma and tell people to piss off (LOL)
     
  15. The Enigma

    The Enigma Guest

    Lesson learned. ^^;;;
     
  16. Mana

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2009
    Messages:
    158
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    King's Lynn
    Ehh... I'm not good at making friends either... I'm not very good at talking to people really...

    But I have some friends... Most of them through the internet :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  17. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I won't go into vast detail, but I'll just give you some basic ideas.

    To make a friend, you need only be a friend.
    The more common ground you have, the more likely it is that you can be good friends.
    Conversation skills are vital. The two basic hints here are:

    * Look for your common ground.
    * Ask questions based on your common ground.

    So if you're both on the bus, you can ask "Does this bus go to (location)?" Or "How often does this bus run? I want to be able to get back home at a decent time." The answers to the questions both provide clues as to whether or not this person is friendly, and give fodder for more conversations and questions.

    Lex
     
  18. kaster

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2008
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    for some reason I've always been the kind of person that makes friends REALLY easily. I have a twin sister so I guess it was always a sort of competition thing too, but usually I'd win the "new friend" over and we'd all play together kinda thing.
    These days you just have to find people that you'd like to hang around with say in a society/club/class that you have similar interests to. Strike up conversations about music/tv/comedians/games/movies etc see if you like the same stuff even if you dont it's good to find out about people. Be confident ask questions, be "friendly"..
    that seems to work for me.. Join a sports team or after school club? :slight_smile:
     
  19. kaster

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2008
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    0
    HAHAHAHHAHA. niiiice :slight_smile:
     
  20. Crackajack

    Crackajack Guest

    Friends coming round, Gonna tell him something that might come as a suprise :icon_wink